AITA for saying couples on group trips shouldn’t get priority?

A 27-year-old man on a long-planned group vacation with his twin brother, the brother’s wife, and her friend feels increasingly sidelined when it comes to choosing rooms. Despite everyone splitting costs equally per person, the couple has claimed first pick every time, citing their higher combined payment for a shared room. The situation has escalated with unequal perks like better AC, outlets, and main-floor access going to the couple, while the poster climbs stairs and gets the lesser options.

He insists decisions should involve everyone, not default to the couple just because they’re sharing expenses. His brother calls him selfish, but the poster maintains it’s about equal input—not demanding the best for himself. The clash raises questions about fairness in group travel when couples pay together but rooms aren’t priced per head.

‘AITA for saying couples on group trips shouldn’t get priority?’

The trip began with high hopes after nearly a year of planning, but room choices quickly became contentious.

So me (27M), my brother (27M), his wife (26F), and her friend (25F) are on vacation right now. We’ve been planning this trip for almost a full year now and...

We’re splitting the stay four ways between the four of us. My brothers wife hasn’t had a job for a month or so now but has since we started to...

Because we couldn’t see AirBNB rooms in person really over photos no room designations were made prior.. One location I shared a bedroom with them but was given access to...

Disparities piled up across locations, leaving the poster with noticeably worse setups each time.

The second I was given the room with no AC while their’s did. (The country typically has no central AC so some rooms have units.

We later found a hidden AC unit in my room but was still given the room when we all believed there wasn’t any).. The third location I have to climb...

Since we’ve gotten here they’ve decided they get first pick of rooms. Their reasoning is because my brother alone is paying for half of the stay (2/4 splits) that they...

The poster pushed back, arguing for discussion rather than automatic couple priority, but his brother dismissed the concern.

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I argued that it’s unfair they get to just discount the other two people (myself and the friend) just because they as a couple are sharing a cost.

There should be more conversation to this. We are all on this trip and we’re each paying our part, just bc they’re a couple doesn’t mean they should get majority...

My brother said I was being selfish bc he thought my argument was that they should sacrifice the better rooms for me. Which is not my argument, but that they...

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It’s his wife’s decision to not work (I fully support) and my brothers decision to finance both their travel expenses, that doesn’t mean my input on a trip I’m paying...

This conflict highlights how unspoken assumptions about money and relationships can sour group vacations. The core issue revolves around whether costs should be divided strictly per person or adjusted for room occupancy. The couple pays double what each single person does for their shared space, which many see as entitling them to priority on larger or better rooms—especially since couples typically need bigger beds and more space.

The poster’s focus on equal per-person contributions overlooks this practical reality, making his stance appear entitled to some observers. At the same time, his frustration stems from repeated disadvantages without prior agreement, which erodes the group dynamic. Opposing perspectives split between those who prioritize per-room pricing traditions—where the couple’s higher contribution naturally buys first dibs—and those who advocate rotating choices or pre-trip discussions to prevent resentment.

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The broader social angle shows how couples in mixed groups often face assumptions of privilege, yet singles can feel unfairly outvoted when two votes align. Without clear rules upfront, small inequities snowball, turning a dream trip into a source of tension.

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

Most commenters sided against the poster, arguing the couple’s higher payment for a shared room justifies their priority and that traditional splits favor them.

tiggergirluk76 − YTA for using her not working as some kind of justification. Whether she pays her own share or he pays it for her is irrelevant. Her share is...

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They are sharing a room and you are getting your own, therefore their room is costing twice as much as yours, so inevitably they will get the bigger/main bedroom.

If you were staying in a hotel and paying for your own room, you would be paying twice as much per person as them. You're actually getting a bargain in...

hardboiledegg2024 − You realize that your current methodology means that your brother and his wife are effectively paying more right?

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No one counts occupancy by head, we count it by room. Also, no double bedroom would be twice the cost of a single bedroom.

Not even if you wanted to nitpick and calculate their double usage of the shared facilities. What I don’t get is why is your issue with your brother rather than...

She’s occupying the other single room and would be your “competitor” in the scenarios you outlined. Yet she has been somehow omitted from the story. YTA.

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Edit: Also if you go by votes, they easily get majority right? Why would you feel they should only get one vote if you’re all paying equal share

tkfu − YTA. If there were three rooms and you were splitting the cost of the accommodation 3 ways, your logic would be fine and you'd be justified in complaining.

But your brother and his wife are paying twice as much for their room as you are paying for yours! Of _course_ it makes sense that they should have first...

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I argued that it’s unfair they get to just discount the other two people (myself and the friend) just because they as a couple are sharing a cost.

They aren't "sharing" the cost, they're both paying the same amount, meaning they're paying twice as much as you. You're being ridiculous.

It’s his wife’s decision to not work (I fully support) and my brothers decision to finance both their travel expenses What difference does any of this make? They're paying twice...

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No_Earth_9391 − Controversial opinion, if they’re sharing a room and you get your own, they should get the better room if it’s being split by person and not by room.

They’re paying double what you are. You want the better room? Split it by room and pay more for it

Grrrrr_Arrrrrgh − The AC and outlets are irrelevant. If the couple are the only ones sharing a room then yes, they are paying more for their single room than you...

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They get their choice. Vacation rental costs are traditionally split by room. Say a rental has three bedrooms and costs $800/night.

The traditional split would be something like $300 for the master and $250 for each of the other two rooms. Possibly $350 for the master and $225 for each of...

Depends on discrepancy of the rooms, primarily bed size. In your case, the couple is actually paying $400 for the master and you other two people are only paying $200...

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That's a major difference in cost. They are paying far more than would normally be done for the larger room/bed. You're darn straight that they're getting first choice of rooms.

You're not being punished for being single. You're getting what you pay for *per room*, not per person. If you want the better room, offer to pay half of their...

A few offered balanced views, suggesting compromise like rotating picks or pre-trip agreements while still leaning toward the couple’s reasoning.

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Captains-Log-2021 − They don’t have to always get the best rooms, but at least a room that is large enough for a couple (bed size, etc). Apart from that consideration,...

ddddina − I usually think its fairest if the person who organized the trip (booked the accommodations, etc) chooses their room of choice. Of course, fairness is subjective and if...

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QueenGuinevereKitten − NTA, but you know that. Obviously, if properties have one double and two singles then it only makes sense for them to get the double,

but otherwise you should be taking it in turns to get first choice or you and the friend will just end up resenting your brother and his wife.

If they’ve had first pick for the first 3 properties, get the friend on board and have a conversation: there are 4 of you so you take it in turns.

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While that means that your brother and his wife will have first pick 50% of the time because that’s just the maths, you and the friend still get first pick...

Others kept the tone lighter or pointed out overlooked details with a touch of humor or practicality.

NYDancer4444 − This should have been discussed before the vacation. There should have been a clear understanding.

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No one wants to spend their vacation squabbling about room assignments. (I’m not sure why his wife’s employment status is relevant. Her share is being paid. )

ambiverbana − I feel like if it’s a 3 bedroom place and two people are sharing, they should get the choice because they are paying the same as everyone else...

People are getting hung up on the fact they are in a relationship: if two friends agreed to share a room and are paying the same amount as everyone else,...

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If you are sharing with the friend, I actually think you guys should pick the room because that’s a more uncomfortable situation. That’s just my opinion. YTA.

The poster feels shortchanged by repeated lesser rooms despite equal per-person payments, but most agree the couple’s double contribution for a shared space logically grants them priority—especially without prior rules. The debate underscores the need for upfront agreements in group trips to avoid ongoing friction over money, space, and fairness.

Have you been on a group vacation where room choices caused tension? Do you think costs should split strictly per person or account for shared rooms? Would rotating picks solve this, or does the couple’s higher payment earn them the edge? Share your experiences below!

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