AITA for ruining my sister’s honeymoon over what she said about my dating past?

What happens when years of sisterly support crash into a single overheard betrayal? A 37-year-old single mom agreed to watch her nieces and nephews so her sister could finally take a dream honeymoon.

The favor unraveled after the sister vented frustrations about the mom’s past dating choices—to coworkers in their shared office. Hurt turned to withdrawal of help, threatening the long-awaited trip.

‘AITA for ruining my sister’s honeymoon over what she said about my dating past?’

Family history set the stage for the current rift.

I (37F) have one daughter (8F) ‘Jenny’ from my ex-bf (36M). My ex-bf was a man child who I stuck myself with for 3 years because I was convinced he...

I’ll be honest, I’ve definitely had bad taste in men when I was younger. I became pregnant and 2 months after giving birth he walked out. He claimed he couldn’t...

He didn’t want any custody and now pays child support surprisingly without complaint. My sister (41F) has been my biggest supporter. She has a wonderful husband who she’s dated since...

Something that was pretty common was when we were in our teens and 20s I’d date jerks. They I’d run to her whenever they did something stupid or hurtful. Of...

She got pretty frustrated but would still comfort me. Believe me, I’m not proud and have certainly matured since my daughter was born. A couple times she would introduce me...

I even went on a couple of dates, but for some reason I only felt attracted to rude assholes with s__tty haircuts. Please don’t ask what was going through my...

My sis and her husband got married pretty young, so they couldn’t afford a nice honeymoon. Now they’ve been saving for years and finally booked a two week stay and...

The babysitting offer came with practical details.

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One of her kids is in an out of state college so she didn’t want to ask him to watch his siblings along with attending school. Plus they aren’t exactly...

I agreed to watch the other kids. They’re not toddlers or brats. They’re well behaved so it’s no big deal to me. I was happy to do it. After my...

Recently I met this really nice guy at work. It was actually my sister who introduced him to me. We all work in the same huge office building, just different...

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We didn’t really spend for than 10 minutes together at a time. He finally asked me on a date. Strangely enough, after about 30 minutes I couldn’t stop sneezing. At...

We went out a couple more times after that and the same thing happened. Once I accidentally took his jacket home. My daughter got sick too. I feel pretty stupid...

Both me and my daughter are severely allergic to cats.. He wearing fresh clothes didn’t help much. Finally after a month, I broke up with him. He offered that we...

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I apologized and just said it’s better if we both go our own ways. I feel awful, but the experience taught me that even though I enjoyed our time together,...

I felt that it was best to break it off soon before we got too serious. He seemed sad but said he understood. We parted on good terms. My sister...

Overheard words shattered the arrangement.

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Only a couple days ago I heard her going on and on about me. I got off work early that day, which she knew. I realized I forgot something and...

The door to the break room was opened and I could hear a small group of women talking. My sis was saying how ridiculous it is that I keep rejecting...

That the fact my daughter has no father is my fault and I should be embarrassed. She made some joke about me being an attention seeker who spreads my legs...

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I haven’t done anything like that in years. I was shocked and extremely hurt. I stormed out and texted her that I will no longer babysit her kids for the...

My mom said that what she said was very wrong, but it’s not fair to ruin her 2nd honeymoon she’s been waiting for so long. Mom is very old and...

Some of my friends mentioned that my sister did deal with my AH-exes for a long and frustrating amount of time. I should cut her some slack. She has really...

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The honeymoon starts only the day after tomorrow and I’ve heard she still can’t find a good babysitter she could afford. I’m starting to feel bad because she seems so...

Edit: just to clarify, we do work in the same company.

A mini-update showed reconciliation efforts.

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Mini Update: I haven’t gone back to my old dating habits for years now. I got a good professional therapist about 6 years ago and she’s really helped me work...

About a year into therapy I sat down with my sister and apologized for always dumping. my issues onto her, and then proceeding to not follow her advice. We even...

I thought it brought us a lot closer. I asked her SEVERAL TIMES about it during the next few years and she just said she had moved on and was...

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I just wished that she had discussed it with me or at least tried to explain how she felt. I love her a lot and would’ve been happy to have...

Plus the way she put it made it sound like I was still doing that s__t when she knows damn well that was years ago. I know I’m not perfect...

Though I’m still furious at her. At the end of the day she’s still my sister, no matter how hurt I feel, and I want to work through this and...

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I’ll post an update later once things have calmed down. I’ve decided to babysit the kids. My bil and her have planned this trip for literal years so I believe...

I love my niece and nephews and planned a few fun activities for us anyways that I don’t want to miss. It’s for them, not her. I guess it’s good...

The conflict boils down to bottled resentment spilling at work. The younger sister ended a promising romance for health reasons, while the older one framed it as another rejection of “good” men. Workplace gossip amplified the betrayal.

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Lingering frustration from past support drives the older sister. The younger guards her growth and child’s well-being. Unspoken grudges blocked honest talks, turning private history public.

Psychologist Dr. Guy Winch noted that “Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die” (Emotional First Aid, 2013). This applies—harbored annoyance poisoned trust, harming both.

Schedule a neutral therapy session post-trip to unpack feelings safely. List three gratitudes and three boundaries each. Practice “I feel” statements weekly via text to rebuild slowly without forcing forgiveness.

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See what others had to share with OP:

Social media erupted over this workplace whisper campaign, dividing sharply on gossip boundaries, past grudges, and favor revocation. Users zeroed in on professional fallout.

Strong consensus labeled the gossip unacceptable, especially at a shared job.

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BrightGreyEyes − It's not just that she said it; it's that she said it at your shared workplace to your mutual coworkers. NTA. It may not be her intention, but...

Lion-Competitive − Your sister is saying this to people IN YOUR WORKPLACE? !?!?! Absolutely NTA in any way shape or form. F her all the way to her honey moon...

aytayjay − NTA. She wasn't letting off steam to her friends or family who might understand the background and not take it all at face value, she was bad mouthing...

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People who don't know your private life and haven't seen you grow up. This has the serious possibility of messing with your career and income. This could open you up...

This reputational damage could hurt your prospects in this company. And if that's what she says in a professional setting, what has she said at home around her children? Does...

She might have done a lot for you in the past but you keep this s__t out of work. I wouldn't forgive anyone who fucks with the place I rely...

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ETA: Kind of surprised how many people seem to think you should have stupid s__t you did when you were young held against you forever. If its true that you...

Supporting you while you cry over idiots in your 20s is what sisters are supposed to do and it's ridiculous that your sister is in her 40s and you're in...

If your sister is still going on about how difficult it was to support you, and slagging you off to all and sundry, 8 years later- sorry she's not as...

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1125daisies − NTA. Being frustrated at your choices in men is valid BUT putting your business on jumbotron and to s__t-shame you is soooo low. And to your workmates too?

What a way to make your workplace safe.  What’s next? Someone from work will a gossip about you sleeping your way up to the corporate ladder?

“Spreads my legs for any man I know won’t respect me” are such HATEFUL AND WICKED words to say about A SISTER. We already face misogyny every second of our...

Tasty_Doughnut_9226 − NTA saying you rejecting good men is forgivable, s__t shaming you is not. Now you know exactly what your sister thinks about you

and that she is willing to talk about you at your workplace too. Maybe look for another job away from her, because imagine how much muck spreading she's been doing!

Bitter_Animator2514 − Well you now know what she says behind your back. Just because she’s your sister you don’t have to forgive her.

Wow she said all that and accusing you of been an attention seeker Her honeymoon sucks that she was suck a horrible sister not your issue why would she want...

[Reddit User] − Nta She can ask those people she was gossiping with to babysit, or even your mother. If she's so easy to badmouth you behind your back, she...

DottedUnicorn − NTA and time to look at getting a new job. Your reputation at work is now ruined. There's no getting around it. I would tell folks that you...

Such a shame your sister chose to gossip inappropriately. But I would go no contact tor a long time. And if you do cave to help your niblings this one...

A few focused on the breakup validity or conditional help.

Jizzlike_Mclovin − NTA. Breaking up with the cat guy was honestly a very valid and mature decision. The right man won’t literally make you ill- cats live a very long...

and your daughter to at minimum be medicated to exist around just his clothing. You’d be alienating your daughter if you kept the relationship and god forbid y’all wanted to...

You can’t ask your daughter (whose allergic to cats) to live with FOUR CATS for the sake of your love life. Also, four cats is just a lot- I’d get...

Your sister’s words were incredibly hurtful and offensive especially for the workplace. Just because a man is a good one doesn’t automatically make him perfect for you and your daughter.

I understand not wanting to help your sister- if you decide to I’d look at it as bonding time with your niblings. If you decide not to just reconcile with...

Genuinely, your sister doesn’t sound like a nice person to have in your life anyway so that last option really wouldn’t bother me. Best of luck to you!

ClareSwinn − I don’t think I would be inclined to do her a large favour. She 1) shared highly personal information in your place of work 2) the spreading legs...

4) she called you an attention seeker when she is the one seemingly involving herself in your dating life. I wouldn’t tolerate that from a friend so I don’t think...

It shows a massive level of disrespect to you and I can’t get past it being at work! I’d be mortified and i also work in the same office as...

Long_Commercial_1912 − I would babysit but I would talk to my BIL and say I’m still doing it but I don’t wanna hear from her or speak to her until...

Once she’s home then have a frank conversation where you say you understand she stood with you through the rough times but basically making out you are cheap and easy...

Such personal conversations should not happen in the work place and it is disrespectful. You thought she was your best friend now you know to not share so much after...

Pretty-Benefit-233 − NTA. I hate when women in successful relationships are smug with women who aren’t

Prestigious-Fold-581 − NTA, and your sister can ask her gossip squad she s__t on you to babysit for her instead.

Its not unreasonable for you to decide to break up with your ex over something you both cant really compromise— he cant simply just abandon his pets on his family...

you're unwilling to took medicines for the rest of your (and your daughter's) life just to make it works.

itsminimes − NTA. She was calling you a s__t in front of coworkers. Don't babysit. Distance yourself from her. She doesn't care about you as a sister, she despises you....

You thought she was supporting you when you went to her, but in reality she was judging you. The worst thing is that she seems to judge you for being...

Flat_Librarian_1724 − What your sister did was wrong on so many levels and if she said what she said about you about any other work colleague she'd be up in...

Your sister may have been there for you through all your bad choices and if she was venting to family or friends it would be hurtful but you'd get past...

What she said could put any future prospects at work in jeopardy as your sister has created gossip about you in the workplace .

Your mother needs to understand the implications for you for what your sister said in the workplace and that if you did go to HR about what she said that...

I would also make clear to your bil what your sister said as he may have heard a toned down version and explain why you can't possibly babysit for them,...

This sibling blowup highlights how old frustrations can taint current bonds if left unchecked. Growth deserves recognition, and workplace lines must stay sacred.

Healing starts with space and honesty. Would you babysit despite the sting, or insist on full amends first? When family vents cross into careers, how do you rebuild trust?

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