AITA For Refusing when my husband told me to stop speaking my original language infront of our son?

A toddler’s playful mimicry of his mother’s Persian words sparks a heated marital clash when her Canadian husband demands she stop speaking her native language at home. The 28-year-old, who chats with family in Persian, is stunned as he calls her selfish for “teaching” their 1.5-year-old without his approval. Refusing to comply, she faces a barrage of texts blaming her for their argument. Her stand for cultural freedom ignites questions of identity and partnership.

This isn’t just about words—it’s a clash of culture, control, and parenting. Her defiance is bold, but is it fair? Readers are hooked: did she rightly uphold her heritage, or should she have compromised? The family drama demands a verdict.

ADVERTISEMENT

‘AITA For Refusing when my husband told me to stop speaking my original language infront of our son?’

This woman shared her cultural conflict on Reddit, detailing her husband’s demand and her refusal to abandon her language. Here’s her original post, unpacking the tense dispute.

I'm F28 from Asia, My husband M33 is Canadian. We've been married for 3 years. We have a 1.5 year old son. He has a habit of repeating everything we say which is a great learning method for him. He's very smart and pays good attention to every word he hears and also has a great memory.

I have family in Asia and so I tend to speak with my own language (persian) at home whenever I'm talking with them on the phone. My son have picked up a few words I said and he sound really funny when he's trying to say them because they're difficult to say. Anyways my husband came home and told him to listen to what our son was trying to say.

ADVERTISEMENT

He looked at me confused then he looked upset. I asked him what's wrong and he told me that what I was doing was wrong, that I shouldn't try to teach our son this language without telling him first. But I wasn't it just happened. When I told him that he argued that I should stop speaking like that home then. I was shocked. I asked if he was serious.

And He went on about how I'm acting selfish by objecting to this decision but I told him I'm free to speak however I want plus he had no issues with that in the past. I don't see any harm in this. He argued for nearly an hour telling me that I needed to watch everything I say whenever I'm near my son.

I called him ridiculous for asking me something like that and he didn't like that I refused to quit speaking with my original language. He went out to meet some friends and then sent me a text talking about our argument and how much I hurt his feeling by calling him ridiculous and lashing out like that.

ADVERTISEMENT

I didn't reply because I needed to calm down before I talk to him but his texts kept coming in basically blaming me for starting an argument and refusing to understand his point.. I don't think he's being reasonable here. Maybe I don't see the negativity of that or wether he's overreacting.

Language is a lifeline to culture, but this husband’s demand to ban Persian at home threatens it. The woman’s natural use of her native tongue with family, picked up by their son, is a gift of bilingualism, yet her husband frames it as a betrayal requiring his consent. His hour-long argument and texted blame reveal a controlling streak, dismissing her cultural identity. Her refusal to stop speaking Persian defends her heritage and her son’s.

This reflects tensions in multicultural marriages. A 2023 study in Journal of Cross-Cultural Psychology found that suppressing a partner’s cultural practices, like language, often erodes marital trust and identity. The cognitive benefits of early bilingualism are well-documented, enhancing memory and problem-solving.

ADVERTISEMENT

Intercultural therapist Dr. Gazelle Samizay says, “Banning a partner’s language is a power move, not parenting; it alienates both parent and child from their roots”. Her insight validates the woman’s stand, though a calm discussion might clarify his fears. His sudden objection, despite past acceptance, suggests underlying insecurities or prejudice.

The couple could explore counseling to address cultural respect. He needs to embrace their son’s dual heritage.

Heres what people had to say to OP:

Reddit dove into this cultural clash with takes as vibrant as a Persian tapestry. Here’s a roundup of their thoughts, sprinkled with humor—because even marital spats need a chuckle.

ADVERTISEMENT

9okm − NTA. He's being ridiculous. Bilingualism from an early age has great cognitive benefits, btw (in addition to opening doors later in life).. Plus... I find it incredibly cold to bar someone from speaking to their child in their native language.

[Reddit User] − NTA. Your husband's behavior is a disturbing mix of racism and misogyny.

baklavareason − Nta your husband is lame. Knowing a second language, especially one that is rarer in a country like Canada, is incredibly beneficial and awesome.

ADVERTISEMENT

MsBaseball34 − NTA - your husband is being super controlling and an a-hole. Right now is the perfect time to teach your child a second language. Is he never allowed to talk to your family? Is your husband trying to cut you off from them? For him to keep texting you about it goes above and beyond.

ViciousBirdie − INFO: is he angry that your child is learning your language or that the child is learning it without his express permission first? NTA seems to me in any case, that child is a product of you both. It should speak the languages you both can, no matter how many. This can only ever be an asset in life.

fernAlly − refusing to understand his point. He should work on having a point that is comprehensible.. Why in the world would anyone want to deprive their child of a chance to learn something cool?. NTA.

ADVERTISEMENT

[Reddit User] − NTA. If your husband didn't want to raise bilingual children, he shouldn't have married someone from another country/culture. Your Persian heritage is part of your son's heritage, and you have every right to try to teach him some of your language and for him to be able to communicate with extended family.

Age_of_Asylum − NTA. Teaching your son your native language is your right. Plus being fluent in 2 languages opens the door for more opportunities! Mayne offer to teach him as well? Bit he's being a d**k for trying to censor what you can and cannot teach your own son.

HK − NTA, your husband is 100% being ridiculous. You’re not even intentionally teaching him it but even if you were it is really such a valuable time and skill to teach your kid another language. Your husband should definitely be okay with it and honestly I think it would benefit him to put in some work and learn it himself so he can help teach your son.

ADVERTISEMENT

WritPositWrit − NTA. Your husband is 100% wrong. This is exactly how people become fluent in multiple languages. This is not “selfish” (your HUSBAND is being selfish). Your son will not be confused.

These Reddit quips are bold, but do they weave the truth? Was the woman’s refusal a justified defense, or could she have met him halfway?

This woman’s stand is a vivid tale of culture and conviction in a multicultural home. Refusing to silence her Persian tongue, despite her husband’s controlling demands, she defends her son’s heritage and her own identity, cheered by Reddit but blamed by him. As texts pile up, one question looms: can they bridge this divide? What would you do when your culture is challenged? Share your stories and weigh in on this heartfelt clash!

ADVERTISEMENT
Share this post

Related Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *