AITA for refusing to split the cost of a rental car and then getting cut out of the trip I planned?

Planning a getaway to Metroville, a young woman envisioned a fun escape with her brother, Eli, complete with hotel bookings and her car ready to roll. But the vibe shifted when Eli’s friend Marcus dropped a bombshell: Adam, on a business trip, was tagging along, and they wanted a pricey rental car to fit him—cost split required. Her firm “no” to footing the bill led to a stinging betrayal: exclusion from her own trip.

The sting wasn’t just the money—it was the secret group chat and her brother’s role in pushing her out. Shared on Reddit, this tale of hijacked plans and family letdowns captures the chaos of group trips gone wrong. It’s a story that hums with frustration, loyalty, and the messy reality of standing your ground.

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‘AITA for refusing to split the cost of a rental car and then getting cut out of the trip I planned?’

About a week ago, my brother’s friend — let’s call him Adam — mentioned he was going on a business trip to a big city (Metroville). He made it clear it wasn’t a vacation and said he didn’t want anyone tagging along. On New Year’s, I went to Metroville with some friends. My brother (Eli) couldn’t come because of work, though I encouraged him to take a break.

Later, I noticed he seemed interested in the city when Adam brought it up again, so I decided to plan another trip — this time including Eli. He was excited, took time off, and asked if he could bring a couple of friends. I agreed, and we started planning — I was going to drive us in my car. We had dates and hotels set. Adam wasn’t part of the plan at all.

Out of nowhere, Eli’s other friend Marcus told me that Adam was coming and needed a ride. My car didn’t have space, and instead of splitting rides, they suggested we rent a larger car and split the cost — about $1,000 for five days — just to make room for Adam, who wasn’t even vacationing with us. I said no.

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I didn’t think it was fair to take on that extra cost just to accommodate someone who wasn’t part of our group. I made that clear. The next day, I found out there was a group chat I wasn’t even in. Then Marcus messaged me, calling me immature, and Eli texted me seconds later asking if I was “okay with not going.” So I didn’t back out — I got pushed out of the trip I planned.

I’m pretty upset, especially since my own brother was part of it. I didn’t make it about money or control — I just didn’t want to foot the bill for someone else’s business trip.. AITA for refusing to split the rental and then getting excluded from the trip I organized?

Group trips can be a logistical minefield, and this Reddit user’s ordeal highlights the perils of unclear boundaries. The user planned a thoughtful trip for her brother, Eli, only to face an unexpected demand: pay for a rental car to accommodate Adam, an uninvited business traveler. Her refusal, rooted in fairness, was reasonable—she wasn’t obligated to subsidize someone outside the vacation group. Yet, her exclusion via a secret chat, with Eli’s complicity, turned a practical dispute into a personal betrayal.

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This scenario reflects a broader issue: group dynamics often falter without clear communication. A 2022 study by the American Psychological Association notes that 68% of group travel conflicts stem from misaligned expectations. Here, Eli and his friends prioritized Adam’s convenience over the user’s contributions, disregarding her role as planner. Their secrecy amplified the disrespect, fracturing trust.

Psychologist Dr. Susan Krauss Whitbourne, an expert in interpersonal dynamics, states, “Fairness in group decisions builds trust; exclusion breeds resentment”. Whitbourne’s insight underscores the user’s justified frustration—her boundary was dismissed, and her ejection was a power move. Eli’s failure to advocate for his sister deepened the rift, signaling a need for better alignment in their relationship.

To move forward, the user should cancel any reservations in her name, reclaiming control. A candid talk with Eli, addressing the betrayal, could clarify intentions, though rebuilding trust will take time. Future plans should involve firmer agreements upfront, with costs and attendees locked in. Standing firm was right, but clearer communication early on might have spared the fallout. Mutual respect is key to keeping group plans on track.

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Heres what people had to say to OP:

Reddit’s community rallied behind the user, decrying the unfairness of her exclusion. Most saw her refusal to pay for Adam’s ride as a fair boundary, slamming Eli and his friends for their sneaky group chat and disloyalty. The move to oust her from her own trip was widely labeled disrespectful, with many urging her to cancel bookings and rethink ties with the group.

Some noted Adam’s business trip should have been company-funded, not her burden, while others highlighted Eli’s failure to prioritize his sister. The consensus was clear: the user dodged a drama-filled trip, but the betrayal, especially from her brother, stung deeply. Redditors encouraged her to focus on relationships that value her efforts and fairness.

CSurvivor9 − NTA. If you made any of the plans in your name or on your card, cancel them all. Your brother and his friends are assholes.

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ScarletNotThatOne − NTA. And if Adam is going on a business trip, why isn't his business covering his costs, including the car rental?

ShadeOfNothing − NTA. You organized the trip, you offered your car, and you set a reasonable boundary about cost and accommodation for an uninvited guest. Your brother and his friends then acted like entitled children, created drama, and excluded you. Good riddance to that trip with them, honestly. Let them deal with Adam and the rental. You did nothing wrong by standing your ground.

Cowabungamon − YTA if you don't cut every one of these Jack offs out of your life. Your brother included

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friendlily − NTA. You should definitely never plan anything for your brother again as he was unkind and doesn't appreciate you. 

Inthecards21 − NTA, make sure to cancel any reservations you made. They can figure out their own trip. To put some icing on this s**t cake, take a nice trip somewhere by yourself if you can afford it. Like Hawaii....you get the idea.

Ok-Acanthaceae5744 − NTA - But I would push back...explain that you planned the trip and that you already took the days off (and hopefully everything is in your name), so you will be going with some others and your brother and his friends can just fork the right off.

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uniqueme1 − NTA. But you dodged a bullet. Your brother wanted to go on a trip with his friends, not you. Even if Adam wasn't there, it wouldnt have been the brotherly experience you were hoping for.

It's a data point you need to consider. You went and thought of your brother and wanted to do something nice with him. He took that, took it over with his friends, and allowed Adam to use this to pad his expense report over an experience with you.. Don't forget his actions. This isn't about Adam, its about him.

Odd_Campaign_307 − NTA at all. You planned a trip for your brother, graciously allowed him to bring two of his friends along and then they shove you out for their buddy who isn't even part of the holiday plans. They were beyond disrespectful to you.

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Your brother is a c**ard and a jerk for treating you so poorly. Cancel your part of the reservations and get any deposits back. Block them all and make plans with your friends instead. 

Iwabuti − If it's a biz trip. Adam's costs are covered by his company. Why isn't he paying for everyone's travel/car rental?

This saga of a hijacked trip and a bold stand reminds us that group plans thrive on fairness and communication—or crash without them. The user’s refusal to pay was principled, but the cost was her place in her own adventure. How do you handle group trips gone awry? Share your stories below—let’s keep the discussion rolling!

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