AITA for refusing to postpone my wedding scheduled for next year because my sister wants her wedding to be the only one that year?

A joyful engagement sours when a sister’s wedding plans clash. Picture a family call where the OP shares news of their intimate winter wedding, only for their sister to demand they postpone it. Her reason? She wants her rescheduled August ceremony to be the year’s only “event,” untouched by talk of another bride.

This Reddit AITA post unravels a family tug-of-war over wedding dates and egos. Readers dive in, debating if the OP’s refusal to budge is fair or a jab at their sister’s spotlight.

‘AITA for refusing to postpone my wedding scheduled for next year because my sister wants her wedding to be the only one that year?’

So my sister was supposed to get married this year, but it’s been postponed for obvious reasons. She got engaged last year and her wedding was supposed to be in August, now rescheduled for August next year. However, two weeks ago my boyfriend proposed and were now engaged.

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We want to have our wedding next winter, around November/December-ish. It’ll probably be something very small. Anyways, once we told family my sister was VERY upset. She said she thinks we should push it back one year like she did. I told her I don’t think it should matter.

She got upset and told me I knew how much she wanted her wedding to be a one of a kind “event” and she knows if we have ours so close after a lot of our relatives will be talking about us during her wedding. She’s absolutely not changing her mind on us moving our date.

It’s caused a lot of drama and even my mom thinks we should postpone because “it’s only fair since my sister had to wait.” I just feel like she’s being unreasonable. We’re not having a big wedding like she is and it’s months apart.

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Also, we don’t want to wait until next year because we’re moving countries afterwards and won’t be able to have the close intimate wedding with friends/family as easily. AITA if I don’t budge on this and end up pissing off my sister? I do feel bad she’s had to reschedule but I don’t see how I should have to postpone just because she did?

Wedding planning can unearth family tensions, especially when egos collide. The OP’s sister’s demand to “own” the year reeks of entitlement, while the OP’s refusal protects their own plans.

Event planner David Tutera, in a Brides article, advises, “Weddings are about the couple, not competition—family should support, not dictate” (source). The sister’s insistence on exclusivity dismisses the OP’s practical reasons, like their upcoming move abroad. Her fear of shared attention seems more about control than fairness.

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This ties to a broader issue: wedding culture’s pressure for perfection. A 2023 WeddingWire survey found 59% of couples felt family expectations complicated planning (source). The OP’s small, intimate wedding contrasts with their sister’s grand vision, highlighting clashing priorities.

For solutions, experts suggest calm communication. The OP could affirm their love for their sister while holding firm on their date, perhaps offering to keep wedding talk minimal at her event.

Check out how the community responded:

Reddit unleashed a wave of sass and support for the OP. Here’s the community’s raw take:

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the_last_basselope − NTA. It's reasonable to claim a day, week, maybe even month, but she doesn't get to claim ownership of an entire year; that's selfish and entitled.

[Reddit User] − NTA. Your sister doesn’t get dibs on an entire calendar year. Get married when you want.

[Reddit User] − NTA. I don't know when the 'big day' evolved into the entire year being off limits for everyone else but it is ridiculous. You have legitimate reasons for wanting your wedding when you do, it is after hers, and it won't destroy her big day if relatives or friends casually chat with you about your plans at the reception.

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Substantial_Papaya − NTA, that’s some bridezilla stuff right there from your sister. How is having a wedding 5 months apart going to be any different if you wait an extra month until January so the calendar says 2021? The world doesn’t revolve around your sister. Live your life and get married whenever you want. It’s about you and your partner.

knikol7 − NTA 'your sister chose* to wait.' There, I fixed it. Your sister could have easily gotten married this year despite the pandemic, but is choosing not to because she wants a spectacle. Makes me wonder about the viability of that relationship.. Get married whenever you want, it's your life.

NickNack878 − mom thinks we should postpone because “it’s only fair since my sister had to wait.” WTF This isn't your fault at all. Shes taking out her delay annoyance on you when you have done nothing wrong. She is being selfish and unreasonable and this would unfairly inconvenience a lot of people.. NTA -

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hello_friendss − NTA, your sister is being ridiculous and entitled. She can’t claim an entire calendar year to get married.

RamblingManUK − NTA, the dates are months apart. She'd have a point if they were closer (especially if you have family who need to travel long distance) but 3 or 4 months is fine.

dropdrill − NTA. Marriage is not about the wedding. She doesn’t get dibs on the year.

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nannylive − NTA. Her wedding will be first. There will be four months between them. Hers was postponed because of a worldwide pandemic If you postpone yours it will be because of a spoiled and unkind young woman.. If a December wedding is what works for you and your SO, stick with your plan, and best wishes.

These fiery opinions back the OP, but do they oversimplify family ties?

This saga of dueling wedding dates exposes the clash between personal dreams and family expectations. The OP’s stand to keep their winter wedding feels like a bid for autonomy, yet their sister’s hurt lingers. Have you navigated family pressure over big life moments? What would you do in this wedding showdown? Share your thoughts below and let’s keep the convo flowing!

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