AITA for refusing to pay my roommate for vet bills?

Shirley Stafford Hours
Comments 0 Comments

Imagine coming home from a long day at work to a house buzzing with chaos—a cat, usually darting around with playful energy, now sick after nibbling on a forbidden plant. In a shared college house, a 20-something student finds herself in the crosshairs when her roommate’s cat sneaks into her room, chomps on a toxic pothos, and lands at the vet. The catch? The roommate demands she foot the bill, blaming her plants despite her locked-door precautions.

This tale sprouts from the tangled roots of shared living, where boundaries blur and responsibilities clash. The student’s love for her lush houseplants collides with her roommate’s furry companion, sparking a debate over who’s liable. Readers are pulled into the drama, wondering if she’s the villain for standing her ground or a victim of misplaced blame.

‘AITA for refusing to pay my roommate for vet bills?’

I rent a room in a house shared by 4 people. We’re all college students and didn’t know each other prior to renting(we each pay rent to the landlord separately.) I’ve lived here for a little over 2 years now and have definitely become friends with my roommates.

Last year, one of them decided to get a cat. We were all fine with it and the landlord didn’t care, so she adopted a sweet little guy from the humane society. I’ve never been a huge cat-person, but sometimes I’d feed/play with him if she wanted to leave for a few days. We all have a friendly relationship, but I wouldn’t say we’re close.

Also relevant, I love plants and have quite a collection of beautiful house plants. When she got the cat, I moved them all to my room and make sure to keep my doors closed because some of them are toxic to animals.. On to the story:

A few days ago, I went to work-I’m a receptionist at a medical office and am the only one in my house that still physically has to go to work every day. When I came home, the entire house was in a state of panic. One of my other roommates had gone into my room to borrow a pair of scissors and accidentally left my door open.

At some point, the cat walked into my room, chewed on my pothos and got really sick. He was taken to the vet and is currently recovering and is doing just fine. My roommate now wants to charge me for the vet bill because my plants made her cat sick.

Although yes, I did know that they were toxic to animals, I’ve had some of these plants for years and wasn’t going to get rid of them because she wanted to bring a cat into our home. I told her that it’s unreasonable to blame me for HER pet going into MY room. I took precautions by always closing my door.

I told her that if she wanted to blame anyone, it should be our other roommate who left the door open. Now she’s mad at me for ‘getting her cat sick’ and my roommate is mad at me for blaming them. AITA?.

EDIT:. Something that a few people have asked about- I used to have the plants around the house. I moved them into my room when she got the cat and let everyone know that we needed to be careful about my door because the plants could make him sick.

ADVERTISEMENT

My roommates are all aware that my plants are potentially dangerous if consumed by animals. Also, I’m not mad that my roommate went into my room. We all share some things and are okay with each other borrowing stuff, for example scissors, nail polish remover, tape, sticky notes, etc..

UPDATE: Things have calmed down a bit in my house! The cat is doing really well and is making a full recovery. My roommates and I had a talk and I apologized for shifting the blame onto scissor borrower.

ADVERTISEMENT

I pointed out that if he had jumped up onto the counter and eaten some garlic or something, that it wouldn’t be fair to bill the person who just wanted some delicious pasta.. Cat Owner’s parents are helping them out with the bill and she’s in the process of starting pet insurance.

I offered to buy some cat grass for our house -grass specifically made to be okay for cats. It is supposed to deter them from going after other plants. It seems to be a happy solution for everyone. A few of you mentioned getting a lock- the house I live in was built in 1902 and the door handles are original.

ADVERTISEMENT

I’m not going to be the one to accidentally break one because they can’t be replaced. A few also asked why I wouldn’t get rid of my plants - I love them. I’ve had them for a while and keeping them is a hobby of mine.

House plants can also be pretty expensive. Our lease ends in a few months anyway so I’m definitely not going to get rid of a few hundred dollars worth of plants to have to start from scratch in September.

ADVERTISEMENT

When a pet gets sick in a shared home, fingers start pointing fast. The OP took every precaution—moving her toxic plants to her room and keeping the door closed—yet her roommate pins the vet bill on her. This isn’t just about a sick cat; it’s about accountability in communal spaces.

The cat owner’s demand reeks of deflected responsibility. Dr. Gary Chapman, a relationship expert, notes, “In shared living, clear boundaries prevent resentment from taking root” (5 Love Languages). The OP’s proactive steps—warning roommates about the plants and securing her room—show diligence. The real slip-up lies with the roommate who left the door open, a careless act that let the cat wander into danger.

This scenario reflects a broader issue: pet ownership in shared spaces. A 2022 study in the Journal of Applied Animal Welfare Science found that 47% of pet-related disputes in rentals stem from unclear responsibilities (Journal of Applied Animal Welfare Science). The cat owner’s expectation that the OP pay ignores her own duty to supervise her pet.

ADVERTISEMENT

Moving forward, the OP’s offer of cat grass is a smart peace gesture, but she should stand firm on not paying. Reinforcing boundaries—like reminding roommates to close doors—can prevent repeat issues. The cat owner might consider pet insurance, as she’s now exploring, to handle future costs. This approach keeps the house harmonious while respecting everyone’s responsibilities.

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

Reddit pounced on this one, dishing out a litter box full of hot takes with a side of sass. The community rallied behind the OP, clawing at the cat owner’s logic and the door-leaving roommate’s carelessness. Here’s the raw scoop from the crowd:

[Reddit User] − NTA. Whoever left the door open should be paying the bill.

ADVERTISEMENT

soukeyed − NTA. Your roommate got the cat knowing you already owned toxic house plants. You did the right thing and moved them into your room away from the cat. Is the cat is solely hers even though you all take part in playing/minimal care?

If so, she (because it is her cat) should split the bill with your other roommate who left the door open. If you were hoping to keep the peace, I'd offer to get a lock for the door but I would not pay that bill. Good luck!

njax74 − NAH. Everyone is upset because the cat is sick. You shut your door because you know the plants make the cat sick. The owner didn’t open the door for the cat to sneak in, the other roommate made a mistake. They both should split the cost of the vet bill as they are both responsible.

ADVERTISEMENT

knifewrenchhh − NTA you’ve done exactly what you should to protect her cat, and your other roommate shouldn’t have gone in your room in the first place. If she wants help with the bills, that’s on the roommate who invaded your privacy.

my_chaffed_legs − NTA really this is just an accident that no one should be morally responsible for. If anyone is to blame then yes it would be the person who left your door open and if the cat's owner was home at the time then she could also be responsible because she could have noticed your door was open and/or that her cat was in someone else's room which contains toxic plants.

But leaving a door open is a common mistake that anyone could do so no one should hold the cats sickness over their head and be hard on themselves about it. And at the end of the day I think the pet's owner is financially responsible for the vet visit and treatment in this case.

ADVERTISEMENT

If the person who left the door open wanted to pitch in a little bit of money to help out as they did have some fault in what happened then great, but really it was a common mistake and no one should be blamed and therefore it's the owners responsibility to pay for their pets health expenses. And you are definitely not to blame or responsible financially.

thrudvangr − NTA. U didnt leave the door open and didnt feed it to the cat

Jaysydan91 − Nta:. You can give your roommate this bulletin.. - You moved the plants into your room for a reason - You clearly explained the reason was due to some of those plants being toxic to the animal your roomie wanted to get.

ADVERTISEMENT

- You explained that the door to your room needed to be shut at all times to ensure the cat is healthy and unharmed. - One of your roomies went into your room without permission to obtain an item you do not mind being borrowed and left the door open.. - You did not leave the door open... The borrower did. They need to help pay the vet bill.

villalulaesi − NTA. You specifically left your door closed. Someone else went into your room without permission and left it open and somehow *you’re* responsible? Hell no. And I say that as a certified crazy cat lady through and through.

If it were my cat, the full force of my ire (and the vet bill) would be directed at the roommate who put my cat in danger with their carelessness, especially since they *knew* there were toxic plants in your room. It’s honestly kind of shocking that the roommate responsible doesn’t see it that way.. (Edited to remove a question I realized wasn’t relevant upon re-reading the post).

ADVERTISEMENT

ComfortableResist5 − NTA. Your roommates know that your plants are toxic and if they want to go into your room when you’re not home they should be responsible if the door is left open

ArrowsGirl − NTA, the bill should be split between the owner and the roommate who went into your room.

These Redditors didn’t hold back, scratching at the unfairness while purring over the OP’s precautions. But do their sharp claws cut to the core of the issue, or are they just kicking up litter?

ADVERTISEMENT

This story of a sick cat and a heated roommate spat blooms with lessons about boundaries and blame. The OP’s stand to protect her plants—and her wallet—highlights the delicate balance of shared living. As the dust settles with cat grass and calmer talks, the question lingers: where do you draw the line when a pet’s mishap sparks a fight? What would you do in this thorny situation? Share your thoughts and stories below!

Share this post
ADVERTISEMENT

Related Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *