AITA for refusing to pay my friend who cared for my boyfriend due to her “innocent mistake”?
A day meant for healing turns harrowing when a caregiver’s slip-up risks a life. The OP, reeling from a personal medical procedure, entrusted her friend to care for her disabled boyfriend, only to return to paramedics and chaos. A forgotten phone, flashing notifications, and a seizure later, the OP’s trust—and patience—shatters.
This Reddit AITA post dives into a raw clash of responsibility and regret. Readers are hooked, debating if the OP’s refusal to pay is fair or too harsh for an “innocent mistake.”
‘AITA for refusing to pay my friend who cared for my boyfriend due to her “innocent mistake”?’
Caregiving demands precision, especially for those with medical vulnerabilities. The OP’s friend, a professional carer, ignored a critical instruction, triggering a seizure that could have been catastrophic.
Dr. David Beversdorf, a neurologist, notes in a Healthline article, “Seizure triggers like flashing lights must be strictly avoided to prevent harm” (source). The friend’s failure to secure her phone wasn’t just forgetfulness—it was negligence in a high-stakes role. The OP’s anger reflects the gravity of the breach, compounded by her own emotional strain.
This ties to a broader issue: caregiver accountability. A 2023 Journal of Patient Safety study found 65% of caregiving errors stem from lapses in following protocols (source). The friend’s financial plea adds complexity, but professional standards don’t bend for “innocent” mistakes.
For solutions, experts suggest clear contracts for paid care, outlining consequences for negligence. The OP could consider partial payment for time worked, minus damages, but reporting the incident to a regulatory body may be warranted.
Heres what people had to say to OP:
Reddit unleashed a storm of support and sharp takes on this caregiving fiasco. Here’s the community’s raw voice:
![[Reddit User] − NTA If you were a corporate employer like a nursing home or rehab facility, that would have gotten her fired. She was hired to care for him and instead sent him to the hospital. You don't owe her a cent.](https://en.aubtu.biz/wp-content/uploads/2025/05/206178c-07.png)
![[Reddit User] − Reddit is so dumb sometimes. Ya she made a real mistake. But she worked. She deserves the money. If you’re that upset, report her. But it’s s**tty of you to not pay. ESH.](https://en.aubtu.biz/wp-content/uploads/2025/05/206178c-08.png)
These fiery opinions back the OP, but do they miss the friend’s side?
This saga of a caregiver’s blunder and a partner’s fury raises tough questions about trust, responsibility, and forgiveness. The OP’s stand to withhold payment feels like a shield for her boyfriend’s safety, yet the friend’s financial desperation tugs at empathy. Have you faced a betrayal of trust in a critical moment? What would you do in this mess? Share your thoughts below and let’s keep the convo alive!
