AITA for refusing to let my best friend’s fiancé propose at my wedding?

Jonathan Hours
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Picture a glowing bride, her white dress shimmering under chandelier light, toasting to forever with her soulmate—until a whisper threatens to steal the spotlight. That’s the scene one woman faced when her best friend, Maya, asked if her fiancé could pop the question at her wedding reception. The bride, heart racing with both love and unease, felt her dream day teetering on the edge of someone else’s moment.

Weddings are sacred, a rare day where one couple’s love takes center stage. For this bride, saying no to Maya’s request wasn’t just about tradition—it was about guarding a memory she’d planned for years. But when Maya and her fiancé grew distant, even upset, the bride began to wonder: was she protecting her joy or dimming someone else’s? This tale of boundaries and clashing expectations has Reddit buzzing, and it’s easy to see why.

‘AITA for refusing to let my best friend’s fiancé propose at my wedding?’

So, I (30F) got married last month to the love of my life, and everything went off without a hitch—except for one awkward moment. A week before the wedding, my best friend, “Maya” (29F), asked if her fiancé “Jake” (28M) could propose to her at my reception. Apparently, Jake thought it would be

Now, I love Maya, but the idea of having my wedding overshadowed by their proposal didn’t sit right with me. I politely said no and suggested they have their own special day. Maya seemed a little disappointed, but she said she understood. On the wedding day, I noticed Maya and Jake were acting distant, and it was clear something was off.

I later found out that Jake was upset with me for “ruining his plan” and felt like I’d been selfish for not allowing them to share in the love of the day. AITA for refusing to let them have their proposal at my wedding, or was I being selfish by not letting them make it a double celebration?

Weddings spark joy, but they can also ignite unspoken battles over spotlight and sentiment. This bride’s clash with her best friend’s proposal plan highlights a classic etiquette conundrum—whose day is it, really?

The bride stood firm, prioritizing her celebration, while Maya and Jake saw the wedding as a shared canvas for romance. Wedding planner Elaine Swann, an etiquette expert, weighs in: “A wedding is not a free-for-all for personal milestones. It’s a curated event for the couple, and guests should respect that focus” (The Knot, 2023). Swann’s perspective underscores the bride’s choice—she wasn’t shutting down love; she was safeguarding her moment. Maya’s disappointment, though human, overlooked the bride’s right to exclusivity.

This issue taps into a broader social norm: respecting boundaries at major life events. A 2022 survey by WeddingWire found 68% of couples oppose proposals at their weddings, citing attention theft (WeddingWire, 2022). Maya and Jake’s plan, already choreographed, felt more like a performance than a spontaneous gesture, adding to the bride’s unease.

Swann advises open communication to avoid such rifts—perhaps a heartfelt chat could’ve softened the no. For readers, it’s a reminder: celebrate others without eclipsing them. Have you faced a similar boundary clash? Share your thoughts below.

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

Reddit’s got a knack for slicing through drama with wit, and this story brought out some spicy takes. Here’s what the community had to say—brace for candor and a few chuckles: These Reddit gems spark a question: are they spot-on about wedding etiquette, or is there room for a little shared spotlight?

anxiety_watermelon − **NTA.** Your wedding day is about celebrating you and your partner, not serving as a backdrop for someone else’s proposal. Proposals at weddings are often seen as inappropriate because they can shift the focus away from the couple being celebrated, which is exactly why you were right to say no. Honestly, your friend should have known better than to ask in the first place.

It’s common sense that it’s rude to make someone else’s wedding about you, and I don’t understand why she even thought that would be okay. It’s your day, not an open mic for other people’s romantic gestures. You weren’t selfish—you were just setting a completely reasonable boundary. Stand by your decision, and don’t feel bad for keeping the spotlight where it belonged: on you and your partner.

Individual_Ad_9213 − NTA. There should be a special place in the afterlife for people who hijack others' special events (weddings, birthdays, engagement parties, funerals (!), anniversaries, etc.) to announce their own special event. My only exception to this rule would be if an unexpected emergency or family tragedy takes place during/just-before said event.

ejdjd − NTA. Were Maya and Jake also planning on paying for half the costs of the reception, caterer, DJ, decorations, etc.? I mean they wanted to *share in the love of the day* so did that mean they wanted to also share in the costs of the day?. Yah, didn't think so. Again, NTA

AmITheAHAccount − NTA in the slightest. How is a proposal she knows about and is taking part in planning gonna be special at all? That shits not even real at that point. Which feels even worse. Like it’s almost fake? You want to hijack my wedding to put on this proposal skit for my friends and family? Weird, selfish and stupid.

H8MakingAccounts − NTA and....why is SHE asking if she can get proposed TO at your wedding. That means the proposal has effectively already happened and they are just putting on a play for attention.

PharmCath − NTA: If SHE asked if HE could propose to her at your wedding - they were not asking for a proposal, they were asking you to subsidise their engagement party. If it is planned by the couple together, then it is no longer a

Spiritual-Phoenix − NTA. Can we normalize wedding days being about the bride and groom only? No proposals, no baby announcements, no one stealing the show… it should be about the two people listed on the invitation. If there is one day two people should get to enjoy being solely about them, it’s their wedding day.

confuus-duin − NTA. Also aren’t they technically already engaged when Maya already knows and apparently plans on saying yes?

ageofkling − How is it a proposal if they both know about it in advance?

[Reddit User] − NTA.. Your day. They'll get their day in turn.. Your friends are clueless assholes for their gaslighting/guilt tripping response.

This bride’s tale reminds us that love, while boundless, sometimes needs boundaries to shine brightest. By saying no to a proposal at her wedding, she held tight to her moment, even if it left ripples in her friendship. It’s a story that asks us to balance generosity with self-respect. What would you do if a friend wanted to share your big day? Drop your thoughts below—let’s keep the conversation sparkling!

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