AITA for refusing to give money to my biological family and blocking them on everything?

A 22-year-old woman, adopted at age 2 from a poor country and raised in a loving French family, recently got a Facebook message from a man claiming to be her biological brother. Curious, she accepted, chatted all night, and even had a video call with him, the supposed bio mom, and sister.

At first, it felt weird but not emotional—they were strangers. But by day two, he started hinting at financial help, complained about her slow replies, and escalated to intense guilt trips, demanding priority over her adoptive family and money. When she refused and blocked them, the harassment continued from new accounts. Now she’s conflicted: mad at their opportunism, yet understanding poverty’s desperation—but firm on her boundaries.

‘AITA for refusing to give money to my biological family and blocking them on everything?’

The contact started innocently enough when a man messaged her on social media, claiming to be her brother and eager to reconnect:

Conversation flowed at first, but red flags appeared quickly with hints about their hardships and odd requests:

The pressure ramped up, turning possessive and demanding:

She stood her ground and ended contact:

In edits, she added clarifications about no DNA test yet, suspicions of scam, how they found her via groups, and that she hasn’t told her adoptive family:

Reunions with biological families after international adoption can be emotionally charged, but they’re often complicated by vast differences in culture, expectations, and lived experiences. Here, the rapid shift from “reconnection” to demands for money and loyalty raises huge alarms—whether scam or genuine, it shows entitlement over relationship-building.

Many adoptees face “loyalty binds,” feeling pulled between worlds, but experts emphasize no obligation exists to bio families who relinquished rights, especially when contact turns manipulative. Adoption counselor Nancy Verrier, in The Primal Wound, discusses how adoptees may grapple with guilt, but healthy boundaries protect well-being.

If real, poverty doesn’t excuse harassment or rewriting history (like claiming adoption was a “plan” for her benefit). If scam—as many suspect—it’s a common tactic targeting adoptees perceived as wealthy. Practical steps: Consider a DNA test for closure, tell adoptive family for support, lock down social media, and perhaps change numbers if harassment persists. Prioritizing the family that raised her isn’t betrayal—it’s gratitude.

These are the responses from Reddit users:

Online folks overwhelmingly said NTA, with heavy suspicion this is a scam and strong advice to stay no-contact:

Most viewed it as classic scamming tactics, urging caution and full blocks:

Others focused on no obligation and protecting herself:

A few suggested telling her adoptive parents or practical safeguards:

Clear verdict: She owes strangers—real or not—nothing, especially when “reconnection” means instant demands and manipulation. Blood doesn’t buy loyalty or cash.

These situations tug at the heart, blending curiosity with caution. Ever dealt with surprise family reach-outs that felt off? Or set hard boundaries with bio relatives? How do you spot scam vs. genuine need? Drop your experiences below!