AITA for refusing to attend my father’s wedding?

An 18-year-old young man lost his mother to cancer just seven months ago after a three-year battle, only to discover in her final months that his father had been cheating almost the entire time. The betrayal crushed his dying mother, who rewrote her will, changed funeral plans, and ensured her son inherited everything while cutting out her husband completely.

What makes the story more complicated is the father’s rapid move forward: he got engaged to the affair partner the very week his wife died and now plans to marry her after waiting a year for appearances. The son, still deep in grief and furious at the added pain inflicted on his mother, has refused to attend the wedding, leading to pressure and guilt-tripping from his father’s side of the family.

‘AITA for refusing to attend my father’s wedding?’

The devastating discovery of infidelity shattered the family during the mother’s final days.

I (18m) lost my mom 7 months ago to cancer. She had been sick for three years and in the last two months we found out my dad had been...

My mom was absolutely destroyed by the news when she learned it and what's worse is my dad's affair partner wanted to try and "straighten things out" before my mom...

My dad was kicked out of the house and mom changed her funeral plans and everything so that my dad would not be able to go. She changed her will...

She set it up in a way where my aunt would have a temporary guardianship over it (or whatever it's called) and my dad could not get his hands on...

She was very clear that she had not wanted my dad with someone else while she was alive and would not act like things were okay after either.

Grief turned to rage as the father moved on shockingly fast after the mother’s death.

When my mom died it was the most painful time in the world for me and I am still processing life without her. I also hate my dad for the...

The fact is he made it all 10000x harder than it ever needed to be. All because he couldn't remain faithful to her in life. He got engaged to his...

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They decided to wait until mom was gone a year to try and save some of his reputation. But I have hardly anything to do with him and anything I...

He wanted me to know he was engaged and he wanted me to meet his other woman. And he forced those things on me.

The son drew a firm boundary against attending the upcoming wedding, facing family backlash.

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The last time they decided we needed to speak I told them not to send me an invite to the wedding because I won't go and I won't respect them...

They were upset and told me to think about the future and other BS like that. I told them if they thought they were worthy of being grandparents (which they...

Then they tried to guilt me with a sob story of how she was widowed for many years and her kids all turned their backs on her and took her...

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Didn't move me one little bit. But my dad's family are kinda pissed that I am drawing such a hard line at the wedding. They already know people judge my...

My dad also thinks I am taking his relationship with mom out on him instead of judging based off how he was as my dad. But I stand by a...

And he made losing mom so much harder. I'm hearing from so many family members that I need to go to the wedding and I'm wrong to say no that...

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Betrayal during a terminal illness represents one of the most profound breaches of trust in a family, amplifying grief with anger and disbelief. The son’s refusal to attend stems not from petty resentment but from protecting his emotional well-being and honoring his mother’s final wishes after she endured unimaginable pain.

Some family members argue for reconciliation to preserve appearances or future relationships, yet this ignores the raw timeline—barely a year since the death—and the father’s role in worsening his wife’s suffering. Pressuring an 18-year-old still mourning to play happy family prioritizes the cheaters’ comfort over the bereaved child’s healing.

Broader societal patterns show that adult children often distance themselves when a parent cheats on a dying spouse, viewing it as abandonment at the worst moment. Forgiveness cannot be demanded on someone else’s schedule, and attending would signal acceptance of behavior the son finds unforgivable, potentially deepening his trauma rather than aiding closure.

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Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

The vast majority of users firmly backed the poster, condemning the father’s actions and supporting the wedding boycott.

BulbasaurRanch − NTA “I’m hearing from so many family members” - I bet they are all his side of the family. I highly doubt it’s your moms side telling you...

They are biased and their opinion is worthless. Your father did an atrocious thing. He engaged his affair partner the week she died? Holy s__t that’s unforgivable.

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Apparently this other woman’s children don’t speak with her, and that sounds well deserved on her part. You don’t need to go to this wedding at all. I think it’d...

Special_Lychee_6847 − NTA Tell the family that is harrassing you about it, that the only way you'll go, is if you get carte blanche for the first speech at the...

and you'd doubt they would want to hear what you'd have to say about the happy couple. You're just doing what your dad did.. practice what it's like when someone...

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Also, if all her kids turned their backs on her, and not 'let her be a grandparent, there has to be more reason than 'poor her'. Sounds like a good...

Cursd818 − NTA His family are trying to cover up his heinous behaviour? I guess the rotten apple didn't fall far from the rotten tree. Is there any benefit to...

If not, cut them all out. I am so truly sorry that all of this happened to you. You deserve so much better. I hope you're allowed the space and...

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KingBretwald − My dad also thinks I am taking his relationship with mom out on him instead of judging based off how he was as my dad.

How he was as your dad is that he made the final months of life of a person you loved and adored absolute hell. He didn't think of you when...

Why should you now think of him? He showed you exacty who he was and you now believe him and don't want anything to do with that kind of person.

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Sure, he'll be judged. What he did is atrocious. You have no reason nor obligation to go to this wedding. NTA

Final_Figure_7150 − First of all, I'm really sorry for your loss. Second . .. Absolutely NTA Those " many " family members are no doubt your dad's family. If this...

why does forgiving your dad for cheating on a dying woman trump you grieving your mother ? Why does he deserve absolution for making a dying woman's last few months...

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Tell them, that you'd be happy to pass onto their spouses that they think " in sickness and in health " is just an empty phrase. Honestly, OP, f these...

A few commenters acknowledged the family pressure but still reinforced the poster’s right to stay away.

[Reddit User] − NTA. And of course you don't need to go to the wedding of two people who stuck the knife in and twisted it when you were already...

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At least your mom found out and was able to rewrite her will. And I bet affair partner's children didn't "turn their backs on her" because she "moved on," but...

Aggravating-Owl-8974 − NTA- I’m so sorry for your loss. You don’t need to go to the wedding or even talk to them. It sounds like they are trying to salvage...

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Successful_Bath1200 − NTA You do not have to go and don't let anyone pressurise you in to going. I would suggest going NC with him for the time being

Others added sharp, no-nonsense takes to underline the father’s self-inflicted consequences.

cinekat − NTA. Losing one parent to disease is already one of the most distressing things you could experience (I lost my mum to ALS and miss her every day).

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Losing the other parent through their own selfishness? I wouldn't be able to forgive that. Or at the very least, not for a very long time. Which they, selfishly again,...

NTA all the way. Spend their wedding day making new, happy memories and know your mum would be proud of you for standing up for yourself.

[Reddit User] − You are not obligated to save your dad’s reputation. He destroyed it all on his own so will have to learn to deal with the consequences. NTA.

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This young man’s refusal to attend his father’s wedding to the affair partner stems from raw grief and justified anger over betrayal that compounded an already unbearable loss. The community overwhelmingly supports his boundary, recognizing that no one owes forgiveness—or a photo-op—to those who caused such harm.

Would you attend a parent’s wedding under these circumstances, or do you believe some actions permanently fracture family ties? How much time, if any, do you think should pass before expecting a grieving child to accept a new partner who emerged from infidelity?

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