AITA for refusing to answer my sister’s video call so she can see her baby?

A family disagreement erupted after one woman refused to answer her sister’s video call so she could see her baby. What began as temporary help quickly turned into a full-time responsibility that the caregiver never expected to take on. The situation started when the sister chose to relocate for her dream job shortly after giving birth, leaving her 6-month-old baby with family members in another state.

At first, daily video calls seemed like a small way for the mother to stay connected. Over time, though, the caregiver began to feel overwhelmed and increasingly frustrated. Months passed while she remained home caring for the child, unable to accept job opportunities because the baby required constant supervision. Meanwhile, the mother’s social media posts showed a very different lifestyle—one filled with travel, work events, and nights out.

‘AITA for refusing to answer my sister’s video call so she can see her baby?’

The situation began with the sister’s decision to pursue independence after giving birth.

My sister had a planned pregnancy that involves having the baby father not being around and is “determined” to be an independent mom.

She gave birth. Had to give up her lease and move in with us at a different state. Not a short few time after, she managed to get her dream...

This job was not a limited time position and is always hiring in masses every few months or so. She took the job. Had to relocate to another state and...

What followed placed the poster in a role they never expected to fill.

I quit my work before she came so she expected me to just take care of her baby. She calls everyday to see her baby and at first that’s not...

At some point it just became very depressing for me that this past few months, all I have been doing is taking care of her baby while her IG stories...

She does come home once a WHILE when she feels like it to see her baby. Mind you, with her line of work. She is able to fly freely to...

Eventually, the tension reached a breaking point after the poster spoke up.

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Recently I expressed what I felt about watching her baby and she called me rude and selfish and that it was my fault for not having a job. And in...

Mind you I did have some job offerings but could not take them due to the fact that the hours I have to work is the hours that I have...

I can’t just leave the baby unattended. She called us, her family, “fucked up family” because I did not answer her calls. Aita?

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In this case, the sister appears to have made a major career move while relying heavily on family to care for her infant. While pursuing a dream job is understandable, leaving a baby with relatives for months raises questions about responsibility and communication. The caregiver’s frustration also reflects the reality of unpaid childcare. Caring for a baby full-time can prevent someone from maintaining employment or personal independence.

Without a clear plan or compensation, the arrangement becomes emotionally and financially draining. On the other hand, some may argue that family members sometimes need to help each other during challenging times. The mother might view the arrangement as temporary support while she stabilizes her career. Still, critics point out that the situation seems to have no defined end point. When expectations remain unclear, resentment grows on both sides.

From a broader social perspective, the story highlights the importance of setting boundaries and establishing legal guardianship or childcare agreements when a parent depends heavily on relatives. Without those protections, everyone involved—including the child—may face uncertainty.

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Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

Many users strongly supported the poster, arguing the responsibility had gone too far.

emzillaisakilla − NTA. Call CPS and see about getting actual guardianship of this baby so that way you can make decisions and possibly apply for assistance with childcare.

pinelogr − Nta and you should involve the authorities! Basically she has abandoned her baby. It doesn't matter you are family. Also it might cause you trouble legally, are you...

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mdthomas − Call the police or your local version of CPS. Did you agree to take care of the baby? For how long? This is a bit beyond Reddit and...

Own-Yoghurt-4520 − NTA. What the hell are you DOING? Get on a plane and give that baby back to its mother.

She just abandoned that kid like it was puppy or something. NO! !! Stop letting her walk all over you. You are raising her child! This is no small matter.

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VlaxDrek − NTA Call CPS, tell them the story, and tell them you are no longer willing to care for the baby. Let them deal with your sister.

They are the ones who can tell her what her choices are. Be prepared for some backlash from your extended family - you know, the people who also don't want...

Others offered mixed perspectives and practical advice about handling the situation.

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Jazzlike_Humor3340 − ESH Playing games with video calls solves nothing. Get a plane ticket, take the child to her, and hand it over.

Make sure you have a hotel there for after, so that you don't have to stay with her before flying back. Waiting around for her to decide to pick up...

Whether or not you take care of this child is your choice, not hers. You don't have to wait for her to decide she wants to take the child back.

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ETA: do this soon. The older the child gets, the more it will be bonded with you rather than her, and the harder it will be for the child.

HarlesBronson − Yta to yourself. You have ways out but you're not taking them. If you had a job offer you wanted to accept, why didn't you?

This isn't your child to raise for her, you can tell her she has to find other child care bc you are no longer able to watch her baby.

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Baby is old enough for daycare, she's not got an excuse here. Give her a month deadline to get her baby and go live your life.

[Reddit User] − You should get the courts involved. When this woman is finally ready to be a mother again (likely after the difficult parts have passed), would you be...

As much as you're "babysitter," you're also the child's parent. You're the one that's doing all the work. You're the one that's giving love. Do you want to be separated...

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A few commenters lightened the mood with blunt or incredulous reactions.

saurellia − NTA. You have a number of viable options: 1. Hop on a plane. Hand baby to its mother. Leave without baby. (My preferred approach. ) 2. Hop on...

3. Call social services to come collect baby, and law enforcement to collect mother of baby. 4. Whine to the internet about being stuck with someone else’s baby.

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[Reddit User] − NTA. WhoTF just leaves their infant like this? This is insane to me. I hope y'all are receiving child support at least.

This story highlights a complicated family situation where expectations, responsibility, and personal sacrifice collide. While helping relatives during difficult moments can strengthen family bonds, long-term caregiving without clear agreements can create frustration and emotional strain.

Situations like this often leave people wondering where support ends and obligation begins. Should family members step in indefinitely when a parent pursues personal goals, or should boundaries be set earlier to protect everyone involved? And in cases where a child’s wellbeing is tied to these decisions, what would be the most responsible next step?

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