AITA for recording my female coworker without her permission?

In a quiet office where whispers carry weight, a young man finds himself targeted by a coworker’s vindictive lies. After rejecting her flirtations, she escalates, messaging his wife with false claims of his misconduct. Armed with a discreet recording, he exposes her deceit, but the fallout—her firing and accusations of betrayal—leaves the office buzzing with tension.

This story, sharp with betrayal and justice, captures the high stakes of workplace feuds. The man’s quick thinking saves his reputation, but his method—recording without consent—stirs debate. It’s a modern tale of truth versus trust, wrapped in the messy reality of defending one’s name.

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‘AITA for recording my female coworker without her permission?’

I know the title sounds bad but hear me out I 28m have a female coworker 26f who likes to flirt with all of the men at work. My wife 24f knows about her and how I feel. Coworker stays away from me unless it’s work related because I shot her down a few times and told her (on Monday) if she didn’t knock it off I would report her to HR.

Well yesterday that coworker found my wife’s social media and messaged her telling her that I’m a “creep” and “won’t leave her alone” and that I “tried to pay her for s**”. I was honestly disgusted. I ignore her existence unless it’s work related and I couldn’t believe the blatant lies she was telling.

So today I go into work and have my phone in my hand and recorded our conversation when I confronted her. I didn’t show her face the camera was facing the floor so all that was shown was the shoes.

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After some back and forth she admitted she was mad that I threatened HR and hoped my wife would force me to quit my job so I wasn’t a “problem” anymore.. So I took the recording and the messages to HR and she was fired immediately.

On the way out of the building she screamed at me that I was an a**hole and a few other choice words for recording her without her permission and that she’s suing me for it. Even a few coworkers said I was wrong for it and I should have just showed HR the messages and how she’s a single mom and I just cost her kids their livelihood.. So AITA?

Workplace flirtations can be harmless until they cross lines, and this man faced the sharp end of that truth. His coworker, scorned by rejection, weaponized lies to attack his marriage and job, forcing him to record her confession to protect himself. Her firing was swift, but his secret recording sparked backlash, raising thorny questions about ethics and survival.

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False accusations in workplaces are rare but devastating. A 2023 SHRM report notes that 6% of HR complaints involve fabricated claims, often tied to personal grudges. Here, the coworker’s retaliation—messaging the wife with lies—aimed to ruin the man’s life. His recording, while legally permissible in Ohio’s one-party consent state, treaded a moral gray area.

Dr. Pamela Rutledge, a workplace psychologist, notes, “Trust is the currency of professional environments, and covert actions, even justified, can erode it”. The man’s recording exposed the truth but alienated coworkers, who saw it as sneaky. Transparency with HR about his fears might have softened the blow, though the messages alone may not have sufficed.

For others in similar binds, documenting incidents and consulting HR early can prevent escalation. If recording is a last resort, knowing local laws is crucial. This man’s story shows that clearing one’s name can come at a cost, but standing firm against lies is a fight worth having.

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Heres what people had to say to OP:

Reddit’s community rallied behind the man, seeing his recording as a necessary shield against a coworker’s malicious lies. Many argue she reaped the consequences of her actions, losing her job not because of him but due to her own deceit. Her status as a single mom stirred sympathy, but most felt her kids’ struggles were her responsibility, not his.

The backlash from coworkers, calling him out for recording, didn’t sway Reddit’s support. Users viewed his actions as self-preservation in a cutthroat situation, emphasizing that liars, not truth-tellers, should face scrutiny. The consensus leans toward justice, with a nod to the messy but effective way he protected his life.

zombiemiki − NTA. If the genders were reversed, everyone would be applauding you. Always have proof and never go off he said she said when possible.

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Crankypenquin − Nta. I know there is a grey area here because in lots of places its illegal to record without consent. BUT she was out to get you and proved she was willing to say whatever to get you out and I’m glad you got recording of her saying so.. Edit:spelling

del901 − She cost her own kids her livelihood. As if hitting on you wasn't bad enough, but contacting your wife and potentially ending your marriage. That's a bridge too far. From your title, I was going to say something else, but definitely NTA.

IHateKoalas1 − NTA, she brought that upon herself, she behaved like s**t and now she has to face the consequences. You did absolutely right, and you have nothing to be scared of about that recording lol

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CrystalQueen3000 − NTA No one should tolerate s**ual harassment. You did nothing wrong and maybe now she’ll learn to not be a boundary pushing creep.. She wouldn’t take no for answer and tried to destroy your marriage. She absolutely deserved to lose her job.

[Reddit User] − NTA - I love seeing liars receive their comeuppance.

ivylass − And what would have happened if her lies had cost you YOUR job and YOUR marriage? You did what you had to do to protect yourself. NTA. I don't know the laws in your state so do the research on that just in case.

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[Reddit User] − It amazes me how people want to play with fire but then get upset when they get burned. Don't act unprofessional if you want to keep your job. I imagine you recorded her without consent in case HR wouldn't believe your side of the story so I don't blame you for doing what you did. Either way, the results would have possibly been the same.

peepingtomatoes − NTA. You didn't cost her kids their livelihood, she did.

Lesland − Go on over to legal.

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This tale, like a tense office standoff, blends desperation with triumph. The man’s recording unveiled a coworker’s lies, saving his reputation but igniting debate over trust and tactics. It’s a stark reminder that truth can demand tough choices. Have you faced workplace betrayal or tough calls to clear your name? Share your stories—let’s unpack this clash of ethics and survival.

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