AITA for planning to keep money from my share of my parents apartment?

Family legacies are rarely straightforward, especially when past neglect mingles with unexpected financial windfalls. For one woman, a 24-year-old who grew up feeling undeserving and overshadowed by a spoiled younger brother, life took an unexpected turn when she discovered that her long-absent father had left her half of his parents’ apartment. The revelation stung all the more given her memories of second-hand clothes and a childhood devoid of genuine care.

Now, faced with the reality of suddenly owning 50% of an apartment, she must contend with her mother’s demands that she gift her share for the sake of “renovations” and as compensation for years of hardship. This painful twist in family dynamics forces her to question not only the integrity of past relationships but also the ethics behind claiming what she believes is rightfully hers.

‘AITA for planning to keep money from my share of my parents apartment?’

Family law specialists note that a will is a legal document intended to carry out the explicit wishes of the deceased. In this case, the fact that her father chose to leave his half of the apartment to his daughter speaks volumes about his intentions, regardless of the messy familial backdrop. Legally and ethically, she is entitled to keep what was meant for her, and any pressure to reassign those funds should be viewed as an infringement on her rights.

Psychologists emphasize that inheritance disputes often dredge up deep-seated feelings of abandonment and favoritism. For someone who has spent their life feeling unloved and overlooked, receiving an inheritance can be a bittersweet affirmation—a long-awaited recognition that, even if belatedly, they were valued. Such an award may serve as both a financial benefit and a symbolic closure to old family wounds.

Additionally, experts in family dynamics stress that unresolved childhood neglect can resurface through disputes like these. The inheritance, rather than being a mere financial transaction, becomes entangled with feelings of betrayal and the desire for reparation.

Rather than acting out of guilt or obligation, it is healthier for the recipient to claim what is rightfully theirs and then, if desired, consider philanthropic ways to address past imbalances—such as establishing a trust fund for future generations, which might help mend familial divisions without sacrificing personal well-being.

Finally, counselors advise that, while financial windfalls can exacerbate old wounds, they also provide an opportunity for personal empowerment. Moving forward with an independent plan for her money—be it buying a home or investing in her future—can be a transformative act of self-care. In many cases, asserting one’s rights in this way eventually paves the road to healing and autonomy.

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

The Reddit community has largely rallied behind her decision. Many commenters praise her for recognizing that this money was rightfully hers and warn against yielding to family pressure born of long-standing neglect. One commenter pointed out that her mother’s idea of “sharing” is merely a tactic to control the money meant for her, while another argued that her brother’s privileges have long overshadowed her own worth.

Some even suggested that she should channel her inheritance into creating a secure future for herself rather than subsidizing renovations that benefit others. The overwhelming sentiment is clear: she is not the asshole for taking what was legally and morally bestowed upon her.

In conclusion, this inheritance dispute goes far beyond mere money—it touches on painful memories of neglect, favoritism, and long-overdue recognition. The narrator is facing a profound moral and legal crossroads: should she give up her rightful share to appease a family that never valued her, or should she claim what her father intentionally left for her and use it to secure her future? While family dynamics are rarely black and white, her stance is supported by legal grounds and a deep history that validates her feelings.

What do you think? Is it justified to keep your rightful inheritance when your family has used you as a scapegoat for years? Or do you feel that some level of sharing is necessary to maintain family harmony? Share your thoughts and join the discussion below.