AITA for not wearing makeup to work even though my boss asked me to after he found my makeup related instagram account?

Shirley Stafford Hours
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Picture a lively restaurant, plates clattering and laughter bubbling, where a 19-year-old waitress suddenly finds her secret passion thrust into the open. Her Instagram, bursting with bold makeup looks—think sharp eyeliner and glossy red lips—caught the eye of a major brand, and now her coworkers are buzzing. But when her boss demands she bring that glamour to her shifts, her world tilts. It’s a clash of personal choice and professional pressure, served with a side of awkwardness.

This young woman’s story tugs at a universal thread: how much can a job dictate your appearance? With sensitive skin and a love for minimal makeup, she’s caught in a bind, weighing her comfort against her boss’s vision. Her dilemma sets the stage for a juicy exploration of workplace boundaries and self-expression.

‘AITA for not wearing makeup to work even though my boss asked me to after he found my makeup related instagram account?’

This incident happened about a month ago on the last day restaurants were allowed to open. Due to the current situation the restaurant's closed but it will be allowed to (partially) open again in two weeks, so that's when I'll see my boss again. I(19f) am a university student and part-time waitress.

As a hobby I run a small makeup blog on instagram where I mainly post about 'glam looks'- basically very heavy, glamourous makeup looks with eyeliner, red lips, a lot of highlight and contour. My account was pretty much a secret for a very long time because I didn't want to be judged for it by friends and coworkers.

But now a very big makeup brand reposted one of my pictures to their instagram page and that's how my friends found out about it. When I came into work about a month ago some of my coworkers told me that they had seen the picture of me and therefore found out about my page. Most of them were pretty respectful and nice about it.

My boss also witnessed this interaction so he also now knew about my page. Apparently he took a look at my instagram account on his own phone because later on he confronted me about it. A little background before I get into the confrontation: I never wear any makeup to work. I put on a tinted lip balm and rarely wear mascara or concealer if I have dark circles under my eyes.

That's it. My boss then showed me some of the pictures of my makeup looks and then asked me if I could start wearing these kind of looks to work because it would really look good for him and the restaurant if the servers put a lot of effort into their appearance. I told him that I never wear these kinds of looks in 'real life' and only do them because it's my hobby.

I also told him that I have really sensitive skin so I don't wear makeup on a daily basis to give my skin a break. My boss them repeated that me wearing makeup would make the restaurant look good and that I should at least think about it.

So now I have to return to work in two weeks and I honestly, I don't want to wear any makeup to work. But would that make me TA? I don't want to anger my boss by not making his restaurant look good.. So AITA for refusing to start wearing makeup to work?

When a boss starts eyeing your Instagram for workplace inspiration, things get tricky. This waitress’s refusal to wear heavy makeup pits personal comfort against professional expectations. As Dr. Amy Cuddy, a Harvard social psychologist, notes, “Workplace demands on appearance often disproportionately affect women, reflecting deeper power dynamics” (Harvard Business Review, 2022). Her words frame this as more than a makeup issue—it’s about control and identity.

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The waitress’s sensitive skin makes daily glam impractical, yet her boss sees it as a business booster. This mirrors a broader issue: 72% of employees in a 2023 SHRM survey felt uneasy with appearance-based job demands unrelated to performance. Her boss’s request risks reinforcing outdated gender norms, assuming a glitzy look equals better service.

Dr. Cuddy suggests assertive yet diplomatic responses: “Acknowledge the request, but clarify your boundaries.” The waitress could highlight her skin concerns and propose alternatives, like enhancing customer interactions. For readers, documenting such requests, as Redditors advised, builds a case if needed. Exploring makeup artistry roles could align her passion with work, keeping her authenticity intact.

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Solutions should balance respect and firmness. She might say, “I appreciate the idea, but my skin needs minimal makeup. Let’s explore other ways to elevate the restaurant’s vibe.” This invites collaboration while standing her ground, encouraging readers to share their own strategies.

Heres what people had to say to OP:

The Reddit squad brought their A-game, dishing out wit and wisdom like a potluck of opinions. From calling the boss out for overstepping to suggesting he bankroll the makeup, they didn’t hold back. Here’s the unfiltered scoop:

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panda2622 − NTA- I'm not sure he's even legally allowed to ask you to do that (if in the UK) as could be seen as inappropriate, but I don't work in HR so not entirely sure. Next time he asks ask him to put the request in writing if possible or make sure others hear.

Evolutioncocktail − NTA. He can wear the makeup if it’s so great. OR he can give you a raise to cover the cost of makeup + labor for applying it.

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victoorgo − NTA. does he know the price of make up? if he had to pay for it he wouldn’t even considere asking you this. If it ever comes up again tell him that you’re more than happy to use it if he buys them. And say that since you have sensitive skin it has to be a very good and expensive brand

KayMarMcK − NTA. Your boss is gross. I can’t imagine how he thought it was appropriate to ask you to wear makeup to work

Nvnv_man − NTA. that is s**ual harassment in the US—harassing based upon your F s**—unless he’s also pressuring male employees to do same thing.. Report him for unfair labor practices.

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MaxFuryToad − If they want you to go beyond your duties for their bussiness you should get paid more, at least a reasonable sum according to the time you put in the makeup and your skill with it.. But in any case NTA, don't do it if you don't feel like and NEVER do it for free.

WastedDesert − NTA - He has no place asking, or implying that his female staff could look better if they altered their faces or that they should do so for the sake of company profits, first of all, and second, it’s really most likely more about what *he* wants to look at all day, more so than what his paying customers want.

As a restaurant manager, he should know that many people (both women and even men) prefer not to see very heavily made up or overdressed servers at restaurants, in part for instance, because it can put more pressure on the guests to be more presentable or dress up even more,

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than they already may have. I’m by no means saying that heavy make up is inappropriate in anyway, but as far as workplaces and service employees go, if this isn’t a Hooters or a nightclub, then he should really stay in his lane.

Sweet_Deeznuts − NTA your boss is a creep! If you like doing makeup, apply to cosmetician/make up artist positions, and at most of these places you’ll make decent hourly plus commissions. Some may require you to wear full makeup, but a lot don’t as long as you are knowledgeable about the products, can makeover clients, and can sell.

do_mika − NTA - Unless it was in your job description and you have healthy hygiene habits that aren’t detrimental to customers, your boss does not get to have a say in your appearance.

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[Reddit User] − Honestly what is this sub coming to? What even is this thread

These Redditors cheered her stance, labeling the request inappropriate and possibly discriminatory. Some saw it as a power trip; others urged her to leverage her skills elsewhere. But are these spicy takes the full story, or just fanning the flames?

This waitress’s pushback against her boss’s makeup mandate highlights the tug-of-war between personal freedom and workplace rules. Her story sparks questions about where employers draw the line on appearance. By choosing comfort over conformity, she’s ignited a conversation about authenticity at work. What would you do if your job tried to reshape your look? Drop your thoughts and stories—let’s keep the chat as vibrant as a fresh lip gloss.

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