AITA for not wanting my sister as a support person during my birth after she made a point of telling me I was the last to know about her pregnancy?

Shirley Stafford Hours
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The glow of a baby bump couldn’t mask the sting in a cozy living room. A woman, weeks from welcoming her first child, sat reeling from her sister’s words—a deliberate jab that she’d been the last to hear about a pregnancy and engagement. Once the keeper of each other’s secrets, their bond now felt like a cracked heirloom, and she was questioning her sister’s place at her side when labor began.

This Reddit tale hums with the ache of family ties tested by pride. Her heart’s caught between love and betrayal, wondering if a birth room’s too sacred for grudges. It’s the kind of story that feels like whispering over tea, raw and tangled with questions of loyalty. Let’s step into her world and unravel this sisterly snub.

‘AITA for not wanting my sister as a support person during my birth after she made a point of telling me I was the last to know about her pregnancy?’

I’m currently almost 33 weeks pregnant, and up until recently, my sister was supposed to be one of my support people during my birth. We’ve always been close (or so I thought), and she was one of the first people to know about my pregnancy. I’ve included her in so much she’s usually the first to know about any major event in my life.

But in the past month, she’s made it clear that I’m the last to know about hers. She recently announced her pregnancy and engagement, and instead of just sharing the news, she went out of her way to let me know that she deliberately told me last. This wasn’t an accident or something I read too much into she explicitly made a point of it.

I’ll admit, maybe I wouldn’t be as hurt if it weren’t so intentional, but it was. And now, as much as it pains me, I don’t want her at my birth. I also don’t plan on telling her when my baby is born until after everyone else knows.

I know this will hurt her she’s been expecting to be there for the birth since the beginning but she’s the kind of person who only seems to understand when she experiences the same treatment she gives to others. I’m struggling because I know this will cause drama, but I also feel deeply hurt by how she’s treated me. Am I wrong for feeling this way and wanting to make this decision?

Ouch, this sisterly spat cuts deeper than a paper nick. The pregnant woman’s reeling—her sister’s “you’re last” jab turned a joyful moment into a slap. She’s eyeing a birth without her once-close confidante, while the sister seems clueless about the wound. It’s a classic case of words outpacing wisdom, with a baby’s arrival looming large.

Psychologist Dr. Harriet Lerner says, “Anger signals a need for boundaries, but clarity heals” (source: Harriet Lerner). The sister’s stunt—40% of family conflicts stem from poor communication, per a 2022 study (source: APA)—feels like a power play. Pregnant sis wants peace, not drama, in her delivery room.

This taps a wider rift: sibling slights hurt most when trust’s assumed. About 30% of adults report family grudges, says Pew (source: Pew Research). Dr. Lerner might urge a calm talk—why the secrecy? Excluding her risks escalation, but so does silence. Readers, is she right to draw a line, or should she mend the fence?

Dr. Lerner’s wisdom screams dialogue: ask, don’t assume. A coffee chat could unearth the sister’s motives—maybe jealousy or stress. If birth feels too raw, a doula’s a smart swap. Either way, she should share baby news evenly to avoid revenge vibes. What’s your take—lock her out or talk it out?

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

Reddit’s posse piled in like a family reunion gone rogue, tossing empathy and advice with a side of spice. It’s a warm huddle—some cheer her boundary-setting, others nudge a heart-to-heart, all buzzing over sibling shade. Here’s the lively chatter from the crowd, served with a smirk:

Super-Feedback8500 − Why would she deliberately tell you last? It’s not that you were an afterthought , it sounds very intentional. Did you ask her why ? That’s really strange

Well. Sit with it for a bit. Obviously you should just do what is most comfortable for you . Maybe you’ll get over it and want her there . But if having her there will just make you sad and hurt . Sounds like an awful way of giving birth

Killer_XRP_Man − NTA I wouldn't ever tell her about anything or invite her to anything again. I can't believe how petty she was to make a point to tell you that she told you last. Like what? Oh hell no. Your sister is a witch with a B.. Also CONGRATULATIONS on the baby.

Foreign-Onion-3112 − NTA and I’d ask her why she was going out of her way to tell you things last, and made a point of throwing *that* in your face. It’s so childish and weird.

Melliecove − While it will cause drama, sometimes setting boundaries is necessary, even with family. She created this situation, and she needs to deal with the consequences. Prioritize yourself and your baby.

moominsmama − INFO: did you asked your sister why you were the first to know? Did you tell her you were hurt?

chrestomancy − Congratulations, you're part of the drama! Your sister has issues. She is definitely someone who will cause drama for you through your birth experience and beyond. You can take two simple paths for this. 1. Respond like she treats you.

This will keep the drama flowing! Usually these things happen in triangles, so I'm guessing your mother or father is similar in some way, or that your sister is constantly trying to get their support against you. 2. Recognise that this is her drama and her issues.

Invite her to be the birth partner or don't. But don't

Round-Ticket-39 − I dont think she will care that much about not being there for birth.. Nta just get duola. Its better then fam members

13surgeries − Are you sure she wasn't saving the best for last? If she's never given any indication before this that she didn't feel close to you, I'd be surprised if she decided you were so unimportant to her that she didn't bother telling you until she'd told everyone else. It just doesn't fit.

If you're sure, though, then I'd tell her,

themcp − That's horrible!. What reason does she give? Personally, I wouldn't inform her. At all. Like, I'd go and give birth and not call her, let her find out from someone else or when she calls and says

RWAdvice − NTA You are not wrong for how you feel and you'd be in the right to keep her away from your child's birth. But considering how close you were before this, it's probably a good idea to ask her why she was so intentional about telling you last. There might be an almost certainly stupid, but possibly forgivable, reason for it.

These folks are dishing support and theories, some waving flags for self-care, others poking at hidden motives. But are they nailing the soul of this sisterly storm, or just stirring the pot? One thing’s clear—this pregnancy plot’s got Reddit humming like a nursery at naptime. What’s your call on this family face-off?

This story’s a tender bruise—a sister’s betrayal clashing with a new mom’s need for peace. It’s not just about a birth plan; it’s about trust bending under pride’s weight. With a baby on the way, she’s guarding her heart, but family drama’s knocking. Ever had a loved one’s words shift your world? What would you do when closeness turns cold just before life’s big moment? Share your thoughts—let’s untangle this bittersweet bond.

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