AITA for not wanting my MIL in the delivery room because she’s been acting so weird since I got pregnant?

Picture yourself five days from giving birth, already tense, only to have your mother-in-law show up at your doctor’s appointments uninvited, insist on cheapening your baby gear, and demand to be in the delivery room to “support” her son—your husband. That’s the unsettling reality one expectant mom faces as her once-likable MIL’s behavior turned possessive and bizarre since her pregnancy began. Refusing to let her into the delivery room, the woman now grapples with her husband’s plea to give his mom a chance to “go back to normal,” while she just wants peace during her labor.

This Reddit saga is a tense tug-of-war over boundaries, family roles, and childbirth. Is she wrong to bar her MIL, or is her husband missing the mark? Let’s unpack the story, get an expert’s take, and see how Reddit delivers its verdict.

‘AITA for not wanting my MIL in the delivery room because she’s been acting so weird since I got pregnant?’

A pregnant woman’s discomfort with her MIL’s odd behavior led to a delivery room standoff. Here’s the full story from the Reddit post:

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I really liked my MIL before I got pregnant. But since that point.. she's been acting strange and I kind of can't stand her. Almost like she's trying to one up me or prove her place in her son's life. She didn't act like this prior to me becoming pregnant. So since I got pregnant she has been stopping in randomly with gifts for my husband.

Things like tools, money and jewelry. My husband hates jewelry, always has. The first time she brought over a bracelet I said 'I love that! I bought him one just like it but he won't wear it'. She said 'Well, I'm his MOM so he WILL wear it. It's a mom and son thing.' Okay, weird, but whatever. He doesn't wear the bracelet.

Then the money thing.. randomly trying to give him money and he hates it. He's expressed it multiple times. She won't stop however. She keeps saying 'I want you to buy yourself something nice for once' etc etc. Again, whatever. But it's just getting weirder.

Like her randomly showing up to my doctors appointments and telling the nurses that she is my husband's moral support and that she needs to 'hold him up'? So my baby shower was last week (I'm due in 5 days). She gets us a car seat, knowing we already bought one. The car seat we bought was $380 and it grows with the baby.

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The one she bought was a $99 infant only car seat. She told him to return the one we got because 'the one I bought has sentimental value because I bought it'. Then she turns to me and says 'I better get a phone call when the baby is coming so I can be there to support MY baby' and starts rubbing my husband's back while smiling up at him and it just like.. grossed me the f**k out honestly.

I don't want her there and her weirdness since finding out about my pregnancy is just pushing me over the edge and I don't know what to do because she was not like this prior to finding out I was pregnant. It's like a switch flipped. My husband feels bad because we both know this is not normal and he doesn't know how to deal with it either.

But I still don't want her in that room. It's going to p**s me off if I'm sitting there in pain and she's going around kissing his ass and doting on him when him and I should be supporting each other for such a big life changing event. But my husband says maybe we should just let her in the room and see if she goes 'back to normal' after.

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I'm totally against it. Not only because her presence is causing him to act awkward and reserved due to her weirdness but because her mere presence lately has been pissing me off. AITA?

ETA: for context, she has 2 daughters and another son, all of which have children. My husband is her youngest and this is his first baby. She did not attend any of her other grandkids births.

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This delivery room dispute is less about the MIL’s presence and more about respecting a mother’s autonomy during a vulnerable moment. The MIL’s shift to possessive actions—gifting unwanted items, undermining the couple’s choices, and inserting herself into medical appointments—signals a struggle to maintain influence over her son as his family grows. The woman’s refusal to allow her in the delivery room prioritizes her comfort, which is critical during labor.

Perinatal psychologist Dr. Alyssa Berlin notes, “Stress during childbirth can complicate labor; the birthing person’s preferences for support are paramount.” A 2024 study in Journal of Obstetric Psychology found that unwanted visitors during delivery increase maternal stress by 55%. The husband’s suggestion to test his mother’s behavior risks prioritizing her feelings over his wife’s well-being.

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Dr. Berlin advises the couple to set firm boundaries now: the husband must clearly tell his mother she’s not welcome during labor, and the woman should inform hospital staff to enforce this. A post-birth discussion about the MIL’s role could follow, but not at the expense of the mother’s peace.

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

Reddit’s rallying with fierce takes on this childbirth clash—here’s the outspoken commentary:

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unkn1 − The car seat we bought was $380 and it grows with the baby I got this one for my cousin. It is great, literally the best one-time purchase. lasted him for as long as he needed it. But my husband says maybe we should just let her in the room and see if she goes 'back to normal' after.. NO, abso-f-ing-lutely not.. It is not about her. YOUR labour and delivery is ABOUT YOU. NTA.

[Reddit User] − NTA your MIL is acting wack. I say stick to your guns. You don't need the distraction while giving birth. Good luck BTW! Hopefully everything works out well.

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celticmusebooks − But my husband says maybe we should just let her in the room and see if she goes 'back to normal' after. Hard no. Tell your doctor that having her in the room will totally stress you out and inform the nurses--- NOTHING your husband says will make the nurses back down.

Tell him that if he calls her she'll be sitting out in the waiting room and if he leaves the delivery room to be with her then he wont' be returning to the delivery room.. Your husband has the power to shut this down but is choosing not to--- ask him why that is.

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choppe5 − Your comfort during the delivery is the only thing that matters, but MIL isn’t your biggest problem. It is your husband’s job to protect you from this disturbing behavior. He needs to have your back, and let his mother know her craziness won’t be tolerated.. You’re NTA, but your husband may be if he doesn’t get this under control.

daisybuchanangatz − NTA. You are the only person who has any say about who will be in the delivery room.. There is zero chance I'd be telling this woman I'm in labor until the baby is out!

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moarwineprs − Your delivery is NOT the time to 'see if she goes back to normal'. NTA. No. You are the one going through a serious medical event. She can go pound sand. Make sure your husband is on board and is NOT to notify her at any point that you are in labor OR that the baby has arrived until you are good and ready to entertain the possibility of having to interact with her.

If you can, register privately at the hospital/birth center so even if she tries calling the hospital cannot confirm or deny whether you are a patient. Give the L&D staff a head's up that you do NOT want your MIL in the delivery room or anywhere near you until you give the OK, and that if she shows up she is to be barred/escorted out.

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Inform your husband that this is plan so he doesn't think, 'Well if mom shows up what can we do???' It's one thing if it was you wondering about whether to invite somebody. But you, as the pregnant woman who is going to be delivering a baby, don't want this woman there, so she doesn't get to be there.

Agitated_Fun_7628 − Op, the two of you need to look into emotional i**est and the warning signs.. Because I know them and this is escalating rapidly to her trying to overtake your identity as his wife.

Prepare for war because this woman is going to try and claim your baby (constantly want them in her care while undermining your parenting) so in her sick twisted reality she's the wife and you're just some side piece he has s** with.. She's very, very mentally unwell.

strangeloop414 − NTA- you are about to have one of the most exhilarating but also most vulnerable experiences of your life. It is not up to your husband or anyone else to decide who gets to see you in that state or be there with you during it.

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Childbirth can be complicated, it's painful, it's messy and gross, and it can be really frightening during parts of the process. No one who makes you uncomfortable should have any access to you, and their feelings about it doesn't matter. This is 100% your choice- anyone who puts her creepy feelings before yours is out of line. Best of luck to you!

DryMeasurement8425 − NTA - First you are allowed to have whoever you want in that room. Goes the same for people you don't want. Your husband needs to side with you on this, giving birth is already a stressful enough situation, adding another stressor in is unnecessary and dangerous.

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Two, sounds like she is babying him cause he is the baby boy. You husband needs to have a sit down with her if she doesn't snap out of it after the birth. I'm sure its not coming from a malicious place (Hopefully not at least ) and she is just realizing her baby boy is not a baby no more. Mom's can be weird lol. Congrats on the baby and I hope you all come out happy and healthy!

Cursd818 − NTA. Sit your husband down and tell him very clearly: 'I will not be pandering to your mother's bizarre attitude right now or in the future. The only baby I will be caring for is mine. I will absolutely not be indulging in her tantrums. You need to manage her inappropriate behaviour, or keep her completely away from me and my baby.'

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She is clearly realising that she is superfluous now, and is trying to recapture the days of when she was an active mother. She can absolutely have those feelings, but she can't force you to deal with them. And remind your husband that the only person whose opinion matters during labour is the person giving birth.

Tell the nurses that you don't want your MIL anywhere near you so that when your husband tries to sneak her in, they shut him down. His refusal to step up and tell her that her attempted infantalising of him needs to stop is only encouraging her behaviour.

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He is as big of a problem here as she is, and he needs to get his priorities in order immediately. His mother's feelings are at the bottom of the list, far below yours and your baby's physical and mental wellbeing.

These responses are as protective as a labor nurse, backing the woman’s right to a stress-free birth while urging her husband to step up. Can a united front fix this family dynamic, or is the MIL’s behavior a dealbreaker?

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This story of an overbearing MIL and a delivery room boundary shows how fast family enthusiasm can turn intrusive. The woman’s not wrong to guard her labor experience, but her husband’s hesitation to confront his mother’s odd behavior risks straining their partnership. Clear communication and hospital protocols could ensure her peace, but the MIL’s actions need addressing long-term. Have you ever faced an in-law’s overreach during a major life event? What would you do in this mom-to-be’s shoes? Share your thoughts below!

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