AITA for not wanting a relationship with my dad’s other kids because I don’t see him as my dad?
For a 16-year-old, the word “dad” evokes a void—years of early returns from court-ordered visits, meals eaten alone, and a father who barely showed up. Now, with visitation no longer mandatory, he’s done with his father’s world, including the younger kids who call him brother, pushed by their mother to keep him close.
This Reddit story lays bare the pain of parental neglect and the resolve to draw a line. The teen’s refusal to bond with his father’s other children, despite their tearful pleas, sparks a raw debate about family, duty, and the scars of absence. It’s a tale that cuts deep into the heart of chosen connections.
‘AITA for not wanting a relationship with my dad’s other kids because I don’t see him as my dad?’
Parental neglect leaves lasting wounds, and this teen’s rejection of his father’s other children stems from a father who consistently failed him. From sending OP home early during visitations to barely engaging when together, the father’s absence shaped OP’s view of him as a non-parent. The stepmother’s push for OP to connect with her children, citing their emotional needs, overlooks the teen’s own neglected childhood, while his lack of attachment to the kids reflects the emotional distance his father fostered.
This scenario mirrors a common outcome of parental disengagement: strained family ties. A 2021 study by the Journal of Child Psychology found that 60% of children with absent parents struggle to form bonds with step- or half-siblings, especially when the absent parent prioritizes new families. The father’s use of OP as a babysitter, rather than a son, further eroded any sense of family.
Family therapist Dr. John Townsend notes, “Children of neglect often set rigid boundaries to protect their emotional core”. Townsend’s insight validates OP’s stance—his refusal to engage with his father’s kids isn’t spite but self-preservation. The stepmother’s guilt tactics, while well-intentioned, ignore OP’s unmet needs, and the father’s insistence reflects his failure to own his shortcomings.
To move forward, OP should maintain his boundary, politely declining visits while focusing on his life with his supportive mother. The stepmother could explain the situation to her children honestly, shielding OP from their outreach. If the father seeks reconciliation, he must first acknowledge his neglect and rebuild trust gradually. OP’s emotional health demands space, and his choice to prioritize it is a mature step toward healing.
These are the responses from Reddit users:
Reddit’s community stood firmly with the teen, condemning his father’s neglect and the stepmother’s attempt to guilt him into a relationship with her children. Most saw the father’s absence as the root of OP’s detachment, arguing that he owes nothing to kids he was forced to babysit. The stepmother’s claim that her kids “deserve better” was met with outrage, with users pointing out that OP, too, deserved a present father.
Commenters urged OP to focus on his own well-being, praising the court’s decision to free him from mandatory visits. Some criticized the stepmother for enabling the father’s neglect while expecting OP to play brother, suggesting her motives centered on free childcare. The consensus was clear: OP’s choice to walk away from a painful dynamic was justified, and his father’s family must face the consequences of his absence.
This story of a teen cutting ties with a neglectful father’s family underscores the power of choosing one’s emotional boundaries. OP’s stand, though painful for the younger kids, prioritizes his healing over obligations he never chose. How do you navigate family ties that feel forced? Share your experiences below—let’s keep the conversation going!
