AITA for not thinking of my sister’s needs by saying I won’t give my blessing for my family to move unless I can stay with my grandparents?

Imagine being the overlooked child in your own family, forced to sacrifice your own needs for the sake of a sibling with disabilities. Our Redditor, a 15-year-old boy, has spent his entire life feeling like the forgotten one.

While his parents poured all their resources into caring for his 12-year-old sister—who has a physical disability, autism, and learning challenges—they left him with little more than a makeshift space behind a curtain. His grandparents, however, have always been his refuge, offering the emotional support he desperately needs.

Now, as his family plans to move to another state for a school that would better serve his sister’s needs, he’s faced with another heart-wrenching decision: he can only give his blessing for the move if he gets to stay behind with his beloved grandparents. Caught between the promise of a better future for his sister and the loss of his cherished support system, he wonders if he’s being selfish. Is it fair to demand that his own needs be considered in this major family decision? Read on to explore his story.

‘AITA for not thinking of my sister’s needs by saying I won’t give my blessing for my family to move unless I can stay with my grandparents?’

Navigating family decisions where one sibling’s needs overshadow another’s is complex. Dr. Susan Heitler, a clinical psychologist specializing in family dynamics, explains, “When one child is consistently prioritized over another, it can lead to feelings of abandonment and resentment. It’s essential for each family member’s needs to be acknowledged and addressed.”  In this case, our Redditor’s lifelong experience of neglect has left him with deep-seated emotional wounds,

and the prospect of moving away from his grandparents only adds to his sense of isolation. Family therapists stress that every child deserves a stable and nurturing environment. According to a Psychology Today article, “Children who feel consistently neglected often struggle with self-esteem and trust issues later in life.” For our Redditor, his grandparents represent a critical support system—one that has helped him cope with years of feeling second-best.

His demand to stay behind isn’t about selfishness; it’s about preserving a lifeline that has been absent from his parents’ attention for too long. Financial and emotional analysts agree that major decisions like moving should consider the well-being of all family members, not just the one with the most pressing needs.

The consensus is that while his sister’s education and care are undoubtedly important, the emotional health of the overlooked child is equally critical. Dr. Heitler adds, “Family cohesion depends on balancing the needs of all members. Ignoring one child’s voice can lead to long-term familial discord.” By insisting he stays with his grandparents, our Redditor is asserting his right to a supportive, stable environment—an essential component for his growth and future success.

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

Reddit is buzzing with support for his stance. Many users wrote, “NTA—you deserve to keep your support system intact,” while others remarked, “Your grandparents have been your rock; don’t sacrifice that for a move that only benefits your sister.” Some commenters advised him to have his grandparents speak directly with his parents to negotiate better terms, while others empathized with his feelings of abandonment. The consensus is clear: he’s not being selfish for prioritizing his well-being when his family has long neglected his needs.

Ultimately, this isn’t just about a family move—it’s about acknowledging that every child’s needs matter. Our Redditor’s insistence on staying with his grandparents before giving his blessing to move is a powerful declaration of self-worth and the importance of a support system.

While his parents may argue that the move is in everyone’s best interest, his perspective highlights a long-overlooked truth: he deserves a space where he feels valued and supported. What would you do if you felt consistently sidelined by your family’s decisions? Share your thoughts and join the discussion below!