AITA for not taking the baby as soon as I was asked?

A new dad earning $25 an hour arrives home at 3 p.m., ready to replace his stay-at-home wife with their cranky 7-week-old—until a job interview call comes in. He mouths “wait,” and disappears for 40 minutes, leaving her to cook dinner with the baby strapped to her chest.

What complicates the story is the aftermath: she bathes with the newborn, grumps that she handle everything while holding the baby, and refuses his belated offer to help. He insists the call is urgent; she calls the excuse pathetic. With the baby newly vaccinated and even crankier, the two parents argue over who screwed up.

‘AITA for not taking the baby as soon as I was asked?’

The father’s long shift ended with an immediate request for baby duty.

Our daughter is 7 weeks old. My wife is a full time SAHM (both of us want this until our daughter is at least 5, starts school and can openly...

I work full time making $25 an hour and while the pay is good, I've been looking for something a bit better just so we have more fun money, basically....

A sudden phone call derailed the handoff without warning.

As soon as she asked though, I got a phone call that I suspected was from an interview so I said "hold on a second" and took the call. It...

Forty minutes later, tension boiled over in the kitchen and bathroom.

About 40 minutes later I go back in and my wife is cooking dinner with the baby strapped to her chest. I said I could take the baby now and...

She then turns off the stove (dinner was done) and goes in to the bathroom with the baby and takes a shower, with the baby. I go in and say...

She said "I take phone calls while holding the baby all the f__king time. I cook, clean, shower, s__t and shave while holding the baby. Your excuse is pathetic." AITA...

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ETA: our daughter just had her vaccinations. She's fussy. Putting her down in her crib would have led to screaming because she was already unsettled so my wife would have...

New parenthood happens in a flash, and the husband’s 40-minute silent disappearance shattered that. New mothers often “run out of money” by the afternoon; a promised vacation that vanishes without explanation feels like betrayal, not logistics. Communication—just 30 seconds to say “interview, can you hold for five seconds?”—might have prevented the explosion.

Some defend taking career chances, interviewers note, rarely changing schedules on a whim, and the sound of a newborn’s cry ruins the impression. But family experts stress that at seven weeks postpartum, the wife’s mental burden is greater than a phone call; the baby’s eat-poop-sleep phase allows for multitasking if planned. The husband’s “ridiculous” label only adds to the resentment.

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What complicates the story is the power imbalance between a full-time stay-at-home mom and a breadwinner. As clinical psychologist Dr. Alexandra Sacks explains, “The postpartum period is a sensitive time where small layoffs are perceived as major abandonments” (source: The New York Times, 2021).

Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

Most users brand the dad YTA for poor communication and prioritizing the call over his exhausted wife.

mfruitfly − YTA. It isn't about just taking the baby when asked, it is that you failed to communicate or be considerate. You got a random phone call, you had...

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They asked if you were free- well you weren't really free because you had just agreed to take a baby, but you could have certainly asked them to hold for...

And then after being gone for 40 minutes and seeing she is upset, you follow her to the bathroom and tell her she is being ridiculous. Dude, you left her...

[Reddit User] − YTA it wasn’t a good time - it was time for you to give wife a break so she can pee or shower or whatever the f__k...

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Your family is more important**. She’s also correct it is pathetic - weaponized incompetence and utter lack of care for your PP wife is pathetic. And the baby is still...

Aggressive_Today_492 − Soft YTA. I get that a job interview is important and I also get that you wanted to be seen by the interviewer as accommodating,

but a better way to handle this would have been to ask the interviewer to hold on for a minute while you checked with your wife whether it was okay...

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and at 7 weeks postpartum she and your child should be your main priority. By not looping her in on what was going on, she had no idea what was...

She was no doubt exhausted, touched out, and at the end of the rope, and instead of giving her the respite she needed and expected when you walked in the...

FYI, i’m going to give you the benefit of the doubt on this, but the fact that she is a SAHM should only be relevant to the fact that she...

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A couple of voices push back, calling the YTA pile-on unfair to job realities.

Cherry_clafoutis − These y t a replies are delusional. Unless you are being specifically head hunted, most interviewers have multiple applicants that are all about the same in terms of...

Taking a phone call from your mum or to a friend is very different to an interview call. Having a baby being distracting or worse, start crying is not going...

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The average person has enough competition against them for good, high paying positions without sabotaging their first impression. NTA. It sounds like your wife could use some recharge time though...

And yes, I was a SAHM for many years. I know exactly how tough it is. Sometimes you have to suck it up and deal a bit longer for important...

hollandaisesawce − YTA As a dad to a 12 week old, I know that as soon as I walk thought the door that I need to give her a baby...

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StAlvis − YTA It was an interviewer and he wanted to do an over the phone interview and asked if it was a good time. I said yes. But it...

Light-hearted takes ease the tension without mocking the struggle.

Evening_Nerve3709 − Obviously going against most commenters here but I want to say that I understand both perspectives here? Maybe you should have been more clear? When you get a...

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I think you should have told your wife it’s a phone interview with a potential job opportunity (to earn more money, a better living for her and your child) she...

Perhaps she assumed it’s a personal call and you brushed her off, anyone would be pissed if that was the case. I’m going to say… kind of NTA but kind...

HoshiJones − YTA. The interviewer was being considerate and asked if it was a good time. You, being inconsiderate, answered yes. All you had to do: "Actually, could you call...

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theassholethrowawa − Info: Did you explain to your wife you were going to have a phone interview before it started or after?

mynameisnotsparta − Does the baby never get put down for awhile in a crib? Playpen? Bassinet? Nap? Etc? Just wondering. .

The social network largely ruled YTA, hammering the need for a quick heads-up over blind career ambition when a postpartum partner is at breaking point. A 30-second loop-in could have saved the evening and the relationship’s goodwill.

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How do new parents balance surprise work demands with the non-stop reality of infant care? Have you ever misjudged a partner’s “end of rope” moment—what fixed it?

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