AITA for not requesting a first name change to make my parents and family happy?
In this post, a 16-year-old male, known as Wolfie, recounts the ongoing pressure from his adoptive parents and extended family to change his first name. Despite growing up with a name that holds deep personal and historical significance—given by his birth parents—his family insists that his name might hold him back in the professional world.
They propose that he change it to something more “serious” or swap it with his middle name. However, Wolfie is firm in his decision to keep his name as it is, arguing that it is a core part of his identity, and he refuses to change it just to appease others.
‘AITA for not requesting a first name change to make my parents and family happy?’
Dr. Samantha Brooks, a family psychologist with a focus on identity and self-esteem in adolescence, explains, “Names are a core part of an individual’s identity, especially when they carry personal or historical significance. For someone like Wolfie, who was adopted and has navigated complex family dynamics from a young age, his given name is more than just a label—it’s a symbol of his resilience and individuality.”
Dr. Brooks adds that while family concerns about professional image are understandable, they should not override a person’s right to self-identify. “If family members insist on a name change to fit a conventional mold, it can undermine an individual’s confidence and sense of self-worth. Instead, it is crucial to empower the individual to decide what best represents them.”
She further emphasizes that any changes to one’s name should be a personal choice, not one forced by external pressures. “Encouraging someone to alter a significant aspect of their identity for the sake of social conformity can lead to long-term emotional distress. It’s important for families to support each other’s choices and respect individual identity—even if it deviates from traditional expectations.”
Take a look at the comments from fellow users:
The Reddit community has largely supported Wolfie’s decision. Many commenters expressed admiration for his commitment to preserving his identity, with several stating that a name is a personal legacy that should not be changed merely to suit others’ preferences. Commenters have noted that while practical concerns about professional image are valid, they should not come at the cost of personal authenticity.
Some users suggested that if he ever felt his name truly held him back, he could consider a nickname or formal variation later in life—but for now, his choice is entirely his own. Overall, the prevailing sentiment is that family should respect his decision, and that he is NTA for standing by his identity.
This situation raises important questions about personal identity versus familial expectations. Is it fair for family members to pressure someone into changing a fundamental part of who they are just to meet conventional standards? How do you balance the practical concerns of the professional world with the deep personal meaning a name can carry?
Have any of you faced similar pressures to alter your identity for the sake of others’ approval? We invite you to share your experiences and insights on how to maintain a strong sense of self in the face of external pressures. Let’s discuss ways to support individual identity while navigating family expectations.
