AITA for not quitting the guild with my husband?

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Picture a cozy evening, screens glowing, and a couple diving into a virtual world of dungeons and dragons. That’s the vibe one Redditor found in online gaming with her husband—until his explosive temper turned their fun hobby into a shouting match. When his guild put him on notice for toxic behavior, he rage-quit and demanded she follow. She didn’t.

This Reddit AITA post levels up the drama, blending gaming culture with marital strife. Was she wrong to stay in the guild, or was his anger the real boss fight? Let’s log in and explore.

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‘AITA for not quitting the guild with my husband?’

We have been married for 12 years, together for 15. Up until the events of the last year, I was not really big into video games or gaming, but with being locked up in the house and not being able to really do things that we normally did together, my husband got me into online gaming with him.

Normally my husband is a very quiet and reserved person, but when he games, it's like a switch flips and he just becomes a different person. My character is a low level, so he does runs with me on a different low level character he has so we can play together. Last night we did a dungeon with a group of people who were new to our guild or just made new characters, also low level like me.

The healer was not good as he is still learning, and my husband lost his mind because we kept dying. Slamming his fists on his desk, yelling in discord the works. It was really annoying to me. I am the type who when we die, says keep going until we get it, he is the type who gets enraged and yells.

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We have had multiple conversations about this, I have told him repeatedly that his attitude/behavior ruins the game for everyone, but he just says if people didn't suck he wouldn't get so mad. Last night, I absolutely had it with his yelling and cursing. I play these games to relax and have a good time, and I find it irritating that we cannot have a single session without him acting like this.

So I mentioned it to one of my online friends (who is also in our guild) and they agreed that my husband's behavior was problematic. Our GM messaged him and told him that he was getting complaints about him and basically said that he was on thin ice, and if he kept it up he would be kicked out.

My husband basically told him that he didn't care and quit, and then demanded that I do the same. I told my husband that I was not going to quit, that his attitude and behavior are the reason people, including me, do not want to play with him,

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and that if he wants to continue this hobby together as a couple, he either needs to get therapy for his anger issues, or we need to find a new game to play that will be less rage inducing for him.. He called me a t**itor and is now saying that he doesn't want to play games with me anymore.. AITA for not quitting too?

This gaming guild saga is a fiery clash of fun and fury. The Redditor sought relaxation in virtual adventures, but her husband’s desk-slamming rages turned their shared hobby into a grind. His exit and demand for her loyalty put their partnership under a critical hit, revealing deeper issues.

Gaming can amplify emotions. A 2023 study from the Entertainment Software Association found 65% of gamers experience stress relief through play, but competitive settings can also trigger aggression in some. The husband’s outbursts, especially in low-stakes dungeons, suggest unaddressed anger spilling into virtual spaces.

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Psychologist Dr. Kelli Dunlap, a gaming mental health expert, notes, “Gaming rage often masks underlying stressors. Addressing the root cause, like through therapy, can restore balance.” The Redditor’s call for therapy or a less rage-inducing game was spot-on, though her guild loyalty stung her husband. She could explore solo gaming to keep the peace while he works on himself.

Heres what people had to say to OP:

Reddit’s warriors unsheathed their keyboards, dropping takes hotter than a raid boss. Here’s the guild chat:

Davien636 − NTA sounds like your suggestion of therapy is a really good idea.. Anger like that at a video game isn't normal or healthy. ETA - so I feel like I should say that getting angry at video games is part of the experience, sometimes a very deliberate choice from the designers.

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But the level of anger we are hearing about while someone is leveling an alt character (as opposed to end game progression or elite PVP) makes the level of anger and the way it was expressed beyond what I would consider normal.

Some of the comments here are great though in terms of 'most rage inducing experience in games' Mine is being in the Water Temple in Ocarina of Time for 6 hours... ETA #2 - ok all the people coming in to comment about LoL... It's literally the poster child for toxic gaming communities. Nothing that goes on in that community counts as normal.

AdministrationThis77 − NTA and your husband's behavior does nothing to help!!!! SO is a raid leader and I know he gets frustrated but instead of screaming and banging fists, he calmly asks for feedback and offers ideas for why something went badly and how that can be resolved.

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Because it is an effing video game and you can rez your character!!! Your husband's attitude is awful and he shouldn't care about being out when he thinks he is so much better than the rest of the guild.. If this is WoW Classic, you are alliance, and want another friend, DM. 🙂

Dont-trust-it − NTA. Gm was more than fair. Husband decided to rage quit, none of this should extend to you. He needs to sort out his anger issues, games are supposed to be fun.. INFO: Just for my own curiosity, what role is your husbands character? I'm assuming it's either tank or DPS?

Nazeebi − NTA. If you like your guildmates, you like your guildmates. Plus, he was being an a**hole. Is this World of Warcraft? There's literally no reason to get THAT mad at low level dungeons, assuming this is WoW. I'm sure it's the same for other MMOs if it isn't. Plus, you can still do stuff with people... Not in your guild. Like your husband.

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prairiemountainzen − *He called me a t**itor and is now saying that he doesn't want to play games with me anymore.* Yikes. Your husband is so completely out of line here. Obviously, you're not a 't**itor' but it probably is a good idea that he stops playing games with you from now on, since he is unwilling to get a grip and tone down his unhinged, rage-filled outbursts.

I mean, that just sounds so *miserable.* You should keep playing the games by yourself, though, since you use it as a way to unwind and have fun. Your husband, however, needs to take a *giant* step back, because when he is a part of your team, the game becomes the exact opposite of relaxing and fun.. Edit: NTA, obviously.

TriZARAtops − NTA people like your husband are the ones that have ruined WoW’s community and made it such a s**tty and toxic place to be that people like me have just given up after 14 years of playing. They’ve chased away all the competent people who don’t feel like dealing with raging assholes,

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so basically all that’s left are newbies who haven’t been chased off *yet* and people like himself. If you have a good guild with people you enjoy playing with, do *not* give it up just to follow his toxic ass around. And I hope you love and enjoy Azeroth as much as I used to.

Amelia_the_Mouse − NTA. Your husband needs to get to the root of his anger issues. It's not really about the game.

whitewer − Nta, he needs to calm down. Is just a game. I hate those people who think that everyone must be perfect and go full rage mode when someone doesn't have the same 'mastery' of the game they do

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SciFiEmma − If you have multiple people repeatedly dying there's more to it than the healer. It's just as much impatient play style/ lack of attention to buffs.. ​. NTA.

Kilbykins − NTA. He is being a big baby about this, I understand getting frustrated at a game but to get this angry? It's fucked up.

These Reddit opinions range from “therapy stat!” to “ditch the toxic tank.” Are they slaying the issue or just grinding for karma?

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This guild drama shows how fast a shared hobby can spawn a raid of resentment. The Redditor held her ground, choosing fun over her husband’s fury, but his “traitor” jab hints at wounds beyond the game. A calmer talk or a new game might’ve dodged this aggro. What would you do—stick with your guild or log out with your partner? Cast your vote in the comments!

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