Aita for not punishing my dog and kicking out family?

Shirley Stafford Hours
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Picture a cozy living room, rain tapping against the windows, where a fluffy dog named Baja curls up on her favorite couch, recovering from surgery. Her owner, a 23-year-old woman, buzzes about the kitchen, preparing for a long-planned family reunion. She’s made one simple request: leave Baja alone to heal. But when a curious 11-year-old ignores the rule, Baja’s warning growl sets off a firestorm of family drama, leaving the host torn between loyalty to her pet and keeping the peace.

Family gatherings are supposed to be warm and joyful, but they can unravel fast when boundaries—human or canine—are crossed. This Reddit tale dives into the messy clash of pet parenting and family expectations, raising a prickly question: should a dog’s comfort come first, even if it means showing relatives the door? The story’s heated exchange has sparked a lively debate online.

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‘Aita for not punishing my dog and kicking out family?’

My 23(f) dog Baja (f) just got surgery. I hosted a family dinner with aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins, nieces and nephews. While everyone walked in I asked that Baja be left alone on the couch in her spot. Welp one of my cousins (J) daughter (A) decided to go by baja and bother her while I was in the kitchen.

I figured sense I asked the adults they’d make sure their kids left her alone. (A) had bothered Baja and Baja let out a warning growl, I quickly came to the living room and told (A) to leave Baja alone as she wants to rest. (A) was crying because Bajas growl scared her. (J) then gets mad at me saying “is that all you’re going to do!? She snapped at my daughter and scared her!

She’s traumatized and probably won’t ever go by a dog again!” I then snapped back “I’m not going to punish my dog for giving your child a warning. I asked you guys to leave her alone as you walked through the door, you should’ve watched your child!” Other family members chimed in and said I shouldn’t let Baja act like that towards kids and she does deserve a punishment, others sided with me.

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I then yelled at everyone “This is Bajas house, she let out a warning, she didn’t snap her teeth at (A) she didn’t bite her, she let out a warning because she wasn’t comfortable, she didn’t feel safe and she has every right to feel safe in HER HOME, so if you guys have a problem with me not punishing my dog because she let out a warning.

And I will say this again BECAUSE SHE DIDNT FEEL SAFE IN HER HOME, then you may leave HER HOME, I will not treat my dog like she is any less than because (J) couldn’t watch (A) and is being a brat for Baja not wanting to be touched!”. I was told from (J) and her family that I was an AH, so AITA

EDIT : For those saying I shouldn’t have had a gathering. It was planned MONTHS ago her surgery was not, my house was the best place to have it since my kitchen is bigger than others. I would’ve hosted it in the back yard but unfortunately it rained.

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If I had canceled the dinner I would’ve wasted a bunch of money that wasn’t mine (family traveling for this reunion). I couldn’t carry her upstairs or else I would’ve hurt her in the process. She could barley walk up the small ramp to the couch. (A) is 11 years old. BAJA IS DOING GREAT NOW:).

EDIT 2 : was just told that (A) was mistreating Baja and was told to stop and leave her alone. She didn’t listen. 11 year olds know RIGHT FROM WRONG. Her 3-7 year old cousins listened better than her. They were told once to leave Baja be (even when they were by her they were just petting her and she didn’t mind but their parents wanted to let Baja rest) and they listened!

Hosting a family reunion while your dog recovers from surgery is like juggling flaming torches—tricky, but doable with care. This woman’s fierce defense of Baja’s warning growl shows love, but the family’s reaction reveals a deeper disconnect about pet boundaries. The tension boils down to one question: whose responsibility is it to keep everyone, human and canine, safe?

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Dr. Patricia McConnell, a renowned animal behaviorist, explains, “A warning growl is a dog’s way of saying ‘I’m uncomfortable.’ Punishing it risks escalating to a bite next time” . Here, Baja’s growl was a restrained response to being bothered, not aggression. The host’s frustration is valid—her request was clear, yet ignored. However, inviting a crowd so soon after surgery set the stage for trouble.

This scenario reflects a broader issue: pet safety in social settings. A 2022 ASPCA report notes that 30% of dog-related incidents at gatherings involve children, often due to unsupervised interactions . The 11-year-old’s actions, especially after being warned, highlight a need for better parental oversight. Families must teach kids to respect animals’ space, especially when they’re vulnerable.

For pet owners, experts suggest proactive measures: create a quiet space for recovering pets, use visual barriers, or postpone large gatherings. If conflicts arise, calmly explain the pet’s needs and redirect kids to safe activities.

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See what others had to share with OP:

Reddit didn’t hold back, dishing out a mix of cheers and jeers for this dog-loving host. Here’s a sampling of the community’s spicy takes—raw, real, and ready to ruffle feathers:

IAmNoMan87 − NTA, they were told. Reminds me a little of when my dog was a pup. My friend (C) was sitting while I was at work, when she took him for a walk she stopped at the local shop. As she was securing him outside, a Karen came along with her kid asking to pet him. C: I'd rather you didn't, he's just a pup and is still a little bitey and his little teeth are quite sharp..

She went inside and when she came out the kid was crying.. K: That creature needs put down!. C: what happened?. K: the little monster bit my daughter!. C: did she try to pet him?. K: yes, of course. C: didn't I tell you not to because he'd bite?. K: I thought you were joking. C: why the f**k would I joke about that? You were told she couldn't pet him, you ignored that, this is on you, bye

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Ballamookieofficial − NTA.. You backed your dog who did exactly what a person would hope for. The dog didn't bite it was a warning growl probably not the first warning either, just the first vocal one.. I'm pretty confident anyone blaming the dog owner has terrible kids.

SnooWords4839 − NTA - The kid and parents were wrong here. Control their damn child!

LetsGetsThisPartyOn − NTA. Honestly Baja should be somewhere safe and secure.. If your dog is in pain she should be somewhere where no one can touch her.. You told people to leave your dog and they should have. The kid needs a talking to now on “how they were doing the wrong thing to the dog” and how to read a dogs body language and to not touch dogs they don’t know without the owner there etc….

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But it’s up to you tk keep your dog and guests safe. You aren’t in the wrong as you did tell the adults. But I would be louder, more insistent and make sure the kids agree.. But the kid needs a talking to and the dog deserves no punishment.

Competitive-Candy-82 − NTA, Never, EVER punish a dog for a warning growl because the next time they will skip the growl and go straight to bite. Growl is the last step on the ladder before bite (there are many steps before that but most kids, unless thought, won't understand them like lip licking, ears back, tail tucked, whale eyes, etc).

Katharinemaddison − NTA and Baja is a very good girl who, with good restraint non violently stated her boundary.. Why do people want dogs punished for warning? You be taking away their ability to ask/tell people to stop.

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katepig123 − Exactly RIGHT!! What is it with these irresponsible parents that let their little brats harass a dog and then get hysterical when the poor dog defends itself from their kid? I'd ask these jerks if they were going to punish their little brat for going near the dog when she was told to stay away?

Dry_Ask5493 − NTA but you probably should’ve canceled this dinner so that no one was around your dog while she is healing from surgery. It was unnecessary stress.

Accomplished-Emu-591 − NTA, but you are i a no-win situation. Parents who fail to supervise theri children will never admit they or the children are at fault.

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casual_creator − ESH.. I don’t need to explain why your family is wrong. You did right by not punishing your dog (really? “Punishing?”). You did right by defending your dog. Where you fucked up was having so much company over right after your dog’s surgery.

This was a time for much needed calm and relaxation for your dog, not a house full of people and children. *You* put your dog in a position where they could get more hurt or be aggressive because they’re stressed and in pain.

These Redditors bring the heat, but do their verdicts miss the nuance of pet parenting? Is Baja the hero, or did the host fumble the family vibe?

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This tale of Baja’s growl and a family showdown reminds us that love for a pet can spark fierce loyalty—and fiercer arguments. The host’s stand for her dog’s safety shines, but better planning might’ve kept the peace. What would you do if your pet’s comfort clashed with family expectations? Drop your thoughts below—have you ever had to draw a line for your furry friend?

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