AITA for not paying for my stepson’s boyfriends to come on vacation with us even though I’m paying for everyone else?

A sun-drenched Hawaiian beach, the soft crash of waves, and a couple ready to renew their vows after 25 years—sounds like a dream, right? For one 52-year-old dad, this anniversary trip was a decade in the making, a gift to his wife and a celebration with their blended family. But paradise hit a snag when his stepson, living a polyamorous life with three partners, demanded all four join the trip on dad’s dime. Suddenly, the aloha spirit feels more like a family feud.

This Reddit tale unravels a sticky question of fairness and family ties. The dad offered to cover his stepson and one guest, just like everyone else, but the stepson’s push for more sparked a heated clash. Readers can’t help but wonder: where’s the line between generosity and entitlement? Let’s dive into this tropical drama and see who’s really in the wrong.

‘AITA for not paying for my stepson’s boyfriends to come on vacation with us even though I’m paying for everyone else?’

Family vacations can stir up drama, especially when money and emotions collide. This dad’s clash with his polyamorous stepson over a Hawaii trip exposes a classic blended-family dilemma: balancing fairness with personal boundaries. The stepson feels excluded; the dad insists he’s being equitable. Both perspectives hold weight, but miscommunication fuels the fire.

The dad’s plus-one rule for each child aligns with standard event etiquette, like weddings or vow renewals. Dr. John Gottman, a relationship expert, emphasizes in The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work that fairness thrives on clear boundaries and respect. The stepson’s demand for three guests or cash ignores this, veering into entitlement. Polyamory, practiced by 10-15% of Americans per a 2021 Journal of Sex Research study, complicates things but isn’t the issue—fairness is. The dad’s neutral stance on his stepson’s lifestyle shows openness, yet his firm limit maintains consistency.

For solutions, the dad should stick to his offer but invite calm discussion to ease tensions. A family therapist could help the stepson process feelings of rejection, especially given his financial struggles. This story reminds us to set clear expectations early in family plans.

Heres what people had to say to OP:

The Reddit crew didn’t hold back, serving up a spicy mix of support and shade for this family saga. From cheers for the dad’s fairness to eye-rolls at the stepson’s demands, the comments are a lively barbecue of opinions. Here’s the unfiltered take from the crowd:

These Redditors mostly backed the dad, praising his even-handed offer while calling out the stepson’s entitlement. Some saw the polyamory angle as a red herring; others felt the cash demand was a bold overstep. But do these hot takes capture the full picture, or are they just fueling the drama?

This Hawaiian vow renewal turned into a lesson in family boundaries and fairness. The dad’s offer was generous, but the stepson’s push for more stirred up hurt and accusations. It’s a reminder that love and money don’t always mix smoothly, especially in blended families. The Reddit community leaned hard into the dad’s corner, but the stepson’s feelings of exclusion deserve a closer look. What would you do if you were planning a big family trip and faced a similar demand? Share your thoughts—how would you balance generosity and fairness?