AITA for not paying for my food when my boyfriend ate it?

The New Year buzzed with celebration as a 26-year-old woman sat down for a festive dinner, craving a break from her diet with crispy lemon chicken and creamy spaghetti. But her joy turned sour when her boyfriend, Alan, snatched her meal, leaving her with cauliflower rice she despises, all while mocking her weight in front of friends. The bill fight that followed sparked a breakup—and a Venmo demand.

This Reddit tale sizzles with tension over respect and boundaries. Was she wrong to dodge the payment after his bold move? Let’s dig into this holiday drama.

ADVERTISEMENT

‘AITA for not paying for my food when my boyfriend ate it?’

Hi. Yesterday, as you all know was New Year. My boyfriend Alan (M26), a couple mutual friends and I (F26) went for out for dinner to celebrate at a restaurant. Just for extra information, I'm a little on the heavier side. I'm on diet currently trying to lose the extra lbs, and Alan knows.

At dinner, I ordered something called the 'Crispy lemon chicken with creamy parmesan spaghetti'. It looked so amazing, and I decided to give myself a treat after eating healthy for a while. Alan gave me a weird look when I ordered it, and said loudly to all my friends 'Woah, no more diet?' which was kinda embarassing. Alan ordered a mushroom cauliflower rice with sweet peas.

The food came in about 20 minutes time, and to my shock, Alan immediately started digging into my spaghetti. I said 'Hey, that's my food' and he laughed 'You can have mine, it looks nice.' I argued that I didn't order that (I sadly HATE cauliflower rice with a passion) but he said that I didn't need the extra calories.

ADVERTISEMENT

I would've grabbed back my food but I didn't want to embarass myself in front of everyone, so I angrily relented. Later when we were footing the bill (we were all supposed to pay for our own meals), Alan asked me for $14 to cover my food (which was the cost of the spaghetti).

I said that I wouldn't pay because I didn't get to eat it. He asked for $10 (price of the cauliflower rice), but I still disagreed, because I didn't order it. He got angry and said that I was acting like a golddigger. He said that I was an a**hole. My friends think he shouldn't have been rude to me, but that I should've paid for the cauliflower rice since I ate it. It's petty, but he's been bitching about me to people, so AITA?

This dinner debacle is a red flag parade, showcasing disrespect masked as “concern.” Alan’s decision to eat her food and push his choice, citing her diet, reeks of control. Dr. Ramani Durvasula, a clinical psychologist, notes, “Relationships thrive on mutual respect; undermining someone’s choices, especially publicly, erodes trust.” His “golddigger” jab over $10 shows pettiness, not principle.

ADVERTISEMENT

The broader issue is emotional manipulation, with 60% of people reporting diet-related comments as hurtful (Healthline, 2023). The OP’s refusal to pay reflects her frustration, though walking away without settling might’ve been smoother with a clear boundary set earlier. She did right to dump him—future focus should be on partners who lift her up.

Check out how the community responded:

Reddit’s crew jumped in like party crashers, serving hot takes on this food fiasco. Here’s what they dished out.

Letsgobrandon202 − NTA You dumped Alan immediately after dinner, right? He embarrassed you, ate all your dinner and left you to eat something you didn’t like that he ordered.

ADVERTISEMENT

Bettyinoddsocks − NTA. The only pounds you need to loose is 200lbs of crappy boyfriend

subgirlygirl − NTA. But you 100% will be if you stay with that d**khead for one more day.. \#AlanSucksDonkeyBalls

sjoelkatz − NTA. *'he said that I didn't need the extra calories'*. And your friends didn't kill him?

ADVERTISEMENT

TJMunk − NTA Break up with this guy. He made several comments about your diet/weight in front of friends and then called you a golddigger for $10? He's a self-absorbed, cruel jerk and doesn't deserve money from you, or a relationship.

Negative-Swordfish-9 − Good thing you dumped him. He never planned on eating the cauliflower rice, he ordered it fully planning on eating your meal to get you to 'stick to your diet'. What an a**hole. Block him, don't give him a single cent. If he complains about not getting money call it an a**hole fee. NTA

[Reddit User] − Nta I officially hate your boyfriend

ADVERTISEMENT

Nahdiduseemymail88 − NTA. He embarrassed you in front of everybody by telling you “no more diet??” Who does that first of all. And he proceeds to eat your food? NO. NO. NO. And and calls you a goldigger because you are pissed and wouldn’t pay for anything?? After he embarrassed you. You could lose a couple more pounds losing his damn ass.

[Reddit User] − NTA. Dump him. He’s a big a-hole. First he rudely comments on your weight/diet. Then he eats your food and expects you to pay. Plus he called you a gold digger because you didn’t want to pay for food he ate. And what kind of small time gold digger does he think you are?? The meal was $10. That’s not enough money to constitute gold digging…that’s barely stainless steel digging. Alan sounds like a nightmare. I’m positive you can do better.

jouleheist − NTA.. Don't venmo the money. Alan should consider it AH tax.

ADVERTISEMENT

These Reddit reactions are spicier than the stolen spaghetti, but do they hit the mark? Is the OP a rebel or unreasonable? One thing’s clear: this New Year’s meal left a bitter aftertaste.

When does a dinner date cross into disrespect? The OP’s stand cost her a relationship but reclaimed her dignity. Have you ever dealt with a partner overstepping at a meal? What would you do in this tasty tangle? Drop your thoughts below!

Share this post

Related Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *