AITA for not letting my SIL inside after she drove 3 hours because she had her dog with her?

A family dinner turned sour when a Redditor’s sister-in-law showed up with her dog, defying a clear no-pet rule. Last Thanksgiving, the dog’s table-scrap feasts and the SIL’s unhygienic habits—like grabbing food with slobber-covered hands—left a bad taste. The Redditor set a firm boundary: no dog allowed. Yet, the SIL arrived, dog in tow, after a 3-hour drive, only to be barred from entry.

Fuming and stranded, the SIL sparked a clash, with the mother-in-law pleading for leniency. This tale of boundaries and family friction has readers hooked: was the Redditor’s stand fair, or too harsh? Let’s unpack the drama with Reddit’s take and expert insights.

‘AITA for not letting my SIL inside after she drove 3 hours because she had her dog with her?’

My SIL notoriously crosses boundaries when it comes to her dog. Last year on Thanksgiving (at my house) she brought her dog with her and proceeded to sit with the dog on the lap all through dinner; feeding the dog table scraps.

Which included her just taking chunks of the turkey and giving it directly to her dog or taking scoops of the potatoes and letting her dog eat it directly off the spoon. Whenever she would stop feeding the dog for point 2 seconds the dog was trying to take from other people's plates.

I don't care how much you love dogs. This is absolutely repulsive and disgusting behavior. After speaking to my husband about it, I made it clear she would not be welcome back in my home if she brought the dog with her.

My husband agreed to this and we both talked to his sister about her dog not being allowed back in our home because the dinner table behavior was rude, inappropriate and soured everyone's appetite (she was letting the dog lick her fingers and then proceeded to grab more food by hand without washing them; which means she was touching food with dog slobber fingers and expecting people to eat it).

he said she understood but felt we were being a 'bit ignorant' and tried telling us that we had dog-p**bia but she would respect our wishes and not bring the animal to our house 'despite the fact that I need her for emotional support'. Fast forward to today.

We had a family dinner planned for months and reminded his sister not to bring her dog at least twice. She showed up here 45 minutes ago and low and behold she had the dog with her. I told her she wasn't welcome inside and she immediately started flipping out with the 'You can't be f**king serious right now.

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I drove 3 hours to get here.' I reminded her that we had told her several times the dog was not welcome and she went off again stating we couldn't have expected her to leave 'her baby' at home 3 hours away.

I stood firm and just closed the door because I wasn't about to argue or let her push my boundaries. MIL is pissed however because she doesn't get to see her daughter often and we should have just sucked it up this one time so she could see her kid. AITA?

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This family’s dog drama highlights the delicate dance of setting boundaries without stepping on toes. The Redditor’s frustration is understandable—nobody wants dog slobber seasoning their mashed potatoes. Their sister-in-law’s disregard for clear rules, coupled with her unhygienic habits, created a perfect storm of disrespect. Yet, the mother-in-law’s plea to “suck it up” suggests a deeper family tension, where enabling boundary-crossing might be the norm.

Dr. John Gottman, a renowned relationship expert, notes in his work with the Gottman Institute that “healthy boundaries are essential for trust and respect in relationships.” The Redditor’s firm stance aligns with this, prioritizing their home’s sanctity over appeasing family. The sister-in-law’s defiance, calling the rule “ignorant,” reflects a refusal to acknowledge others’ comfort, escalating the conflict.

This situation mirrors broader issues of entitlement in family dynamics. A 2021 study in the Journal of Family Psychology (APA PsycNet) found that 68% of family conflicts stem from unclear or ignored boundaries. Here, the sister-in-law’s choice to bring her dog, despite warnings, suggests a belief that her needs trump others’. Her emotional support claim, while valid, doesn’t justify imposing on others’ spaces.

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For solutions, experts suggest calm but assertive communication. The Redditor could reinforce boundaries by offering alternatives, like meeting at a pet-friendly venue. Dr. Gottman advises “using ‘I’ statements to express needs without blame,” which could de-escalate future clashes. For now, the Redditor’s stand sends a clear message: respect is non-negotiable.

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

The Reddit crew didn’t hold back, serving up a buffet of spicy takes with a side of humor. They rallied behind the Redditor, with some throwing shade at the sister-in-law’s audacity and others suggesting the mother-in-law host her own dog-friendly feast. Here’s the unfiltered scoop from the community:

virtualchoirboy − NTA.. we should have just sucked it up this one time so she could see her kid. And that's exactly why SIL brought the dog. She counted on other people pressuring you to let her stay with the dog despite being told not to bring it. You made the expectation perfectly clear. She had a choice - leave the dog home or decline the invitation. She doesn't get to dictate the rules in your house.

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Samu_2020_15 − NTA. Tell your MIL to host her kid and the dog.

Randomz1918 − NTA, honestly this is pretty simple, your house your rules. Side note as a fellow dog owner, I hate when people push their dogs onto others. I can have any reason for not liking your dog whether it's behavior, hygiene, allergies, or simply because my dog doesn't want to be bothered by your's. I'm not obligated to entertain or accomodate your dog and I never force my dog onto others.

Selenite_Moon − NTA. MIL can invite sister and her dog to *her* house and have meal with them.

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Key-Bit1208 − NTA. You aren’t ‘ignorant’ or ‘dog-phobic’…most people don’t want to eat their food with a side of dog slobber. She knew your rule ahead of time and she made the decision to ignore it and try to force her way in with a temper tantrum. If your MIL is that desperate to see her daughter, then she can host her and the dog at her own home.

Mundane-Solution5657 − NTA. You let her bring the dog 'this one time,' she will expect to bring it every time.

IAndaraB − NTA. You set clear and firm boundaries and even went so far as to repeat them multiple times. Also, tell MIL to blame SIL for not seeing her. SIL could have followed the rules she said that she agreed to follow instead of lying and thinking she could just ignore the rule because she's family.. She f\*\*\*ed around, and she found out.. Also, feeding dogs at the dinner table (aside from being gross!) is also very bad for the dog.

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000-Hotaru_Tomoe − NTA. Your house, your rules.. Besides, your MIL looks like a piece of work:. MIL is pissed however because she doesn't get to see her daughter. why the hell she has to meet **her** daugther in **your** house? She's free to host her and her dog in her house anytime.

GMUcovidta − NTA I would have said something long ago when dog slobbery hands touched everyone else food and the dog was being fed off my tableware. Yuck.

OnceUponAMidnte − Nta. Mil can host if she takes issue with it. You created a very reasonable boundary and didn't allow it to be crossed.

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These Redditors brought the heat, applauding the boundary but questioning if the sister-in-law’s tantrum was a play for sympathy. Do their blunt opinions nail the issue, or are they just stirring the pot?

This tale of a dog, a dinner, and a slammed door reminds us how quickly family gatherings can turn into battlegrounds over respect and rules. The Redditor held their ground, but at the cost of family harmony. Was it worth it to protect their home’s vibe, or should they have bent for the sake of peace? Share your thoughts—how would you handle a boundary-pushing relative in your space? What would you do if you found yourself in a similar situation?

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