AITA For Not Letting My Ex or His GF See My Baby?

Four years after a messy divorce, one mom’s still dodging bullets from her ex-husband and his girlfriend. Sharing her story online, she opened up about a relentless campaign of harassment—fake social media accounts, CPS calls, and attempts to derail her new marriage. Now remarried with a newborn, she’s fiercely protective, refusing to let her ex or his affair-partner-turned-girlfriend even glimpse her baby, even during video calls with their shared second-grader.

When her older child asked if their dad could see the baby, she shut it down, saying he had no right. Things got sticky when she told her second-grader to turn off the camera if holding the baby during calls, prompting the girlfriend to call it “rude.” Is she overreacting, or just guarding her family from a toxic past? Let’s dive into her story, with insights from experts and the online community.

‘AITA For Not Letting My Ex or His GF See My Baby?’

The divorce left scars, with her ex’s harassment creating a tense co-parenting dynamic:

Now, with a new baby and a happy remarriage, she’s setting firm boundaries:

Tensions flared when she set rules for her older child’s video chats:

She clarified her protective stance, backed by a court order:

She emphasized her efforts to shield her older child from the conflict:

Reflecting on feedback, she recognized a better approach:

This mom’s story lays bare the gritty reality of co-parenting with a toxic ex. With a court-issued protective order and a history of harassment—fake accounts, CPS calls, and endangering their shared child—her drive to shield her newborn is more than justified. Fearing screenshots or her baby being pulled into her ex’s drama isn’t overthinking; it’s a rational response to a proven threat.

But asking her second-grader to turn off the camera when holding the baby was a misstep. Dr. Becky Kennedy, a child psychologist, warns, “Kids shouldn’t be caught in the crossfire of adult conflicts—it can spark emotional stress they’re not ready to handle” (DrBeckyAtGoodInside.com). The mom needs to own those boundaries herself to keep her older child from feeling torn between parents.

Her ex might argue a quick peek at the baby during a call is harmless, especially since their shared child is eager to share their sibling joy. But his track record burns any bridge to trust. Most would agree that parents have every right to protect their kids from toxic figures, especially with a court order backing her up.

Her pivot to keeping the baby out of video calls is a solid move. She should frame it to her older child as special one-on-one time with dad, while she handles the baby. If the ex or his girlfriend pushes to see the newborn, she could scale back video calls or consult a lawyer to tighten the protective order. Therapy for her older child, as some suggested, could help them navigate this messy dynamic.

She should keep logging any shady moves from her ex, building a paper trail for potential legal action. Protecting both kids while nurturing their bond with each other and her new husband is the goal, and she’s already course-correcting with a clearer plan.

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

The online community didn’t hold back, serving up a mix of support, criticism, and practical advice.

Many rallied behind her right to protect her baby, given her ex’s toxic history:

Others called her out for putting her older child in a tough spot:

Some shared practical tips or personal stories:

A few took a sharper or lighter tone:

This mom’s battle underscores the tightrope of co-parenting with a toxic ex. Her drive to shield her newborn from a harassing ex and his girlfriend, backed by a court-ordered protective order, is hard to argue with. But leaning on her second-grader to enforce those boundaries stirred up unintended tension.

The online crowd’s divided, some cheering her protective streak, others urging her to keep her older child out of the fray. Her shift to managing video calls herself is a step toward peace. What’s your take? Should she hold firm or find new ways to ease the strain on her older child? Drop your thoughts below!