AITA for not letting my coworker stay at my place even though I “have the space”?

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In a cozy two-bedroom house, a 23-year-old woman has carved out her sanctuary, a hard-won escape from the chaos of past roommates. Every corner of her home—from the cluttered “everything room” where she daydreams on tough days to the quiet of her bedroom—feels like a warm hug after a long shift. But when a coworker, fresh from a roommate fallout, texts her with a bold request to “crash for a few weeks,” her bubble threatens to burst. The audacity sends her stomach sinking, her peace under siege.

Why would a near-stranger assume they can invade her haven? Her polite “no” unleashes a storm of workplace whispers, painting her as cold-hearted. As gossip swirls, she grapples with guilt but holds firm, cherishing her space. Her story taps into a universal tug-of-war: balancing kindness with the fierce need to protect your own peace. Can she stand her ground without losing her cool?

‘AITA for not letting my coworker stay at my place even though I “have the space”?’

so I (23f) live alone in a small 2 bedroom house. one room is mine, the other one is basically my everything room. It’s my office, my closet, storage, sometimes i just lay on the floor in there and stare at the ceiling when life sucks lol. it is NOT a guest room. I’ve lived with horrible roommates before so I worked really hard to be able to afford my own place and I love having my space.

it’s literally my safe little bubble. anyways, one of my coworkers (25f) got into a huge fight with her roommates and they kicked her out. she was venting at work and i felt bad and was like “that sucks omg” and even sent her a few places to look at. I was trying to be helpful without inviting chaos into my life yk?

later that night she texts me saying “hey I was thinking maybe I could just crash with you for a few weeks since you live alone and have the space?” i literally got that sinking feeling in my chest. nooo. no no no. i’m not even close to her. we’re cool at work but we’ve never even hung out outside of lunch breaks and complaining about our boss. she doesn’t know anything about me.

and i don’t know her like that. why would she live in my HOUSE. so i replied super politely like “i totally get that you’re going through it but i really value my space and I’m just not in a place where I can have someone stay with me” like i was NICE. didn’t ghost her. didn’t ignore her. just said no.

next day she’s acting really weird. then another coworker tells me she said i “let her be homeless” when i “have an entire room to myself.” like GIRL. first of all, she’s staying at her bf’s place. second of all, I pay to live alone. that’s the whole POINT. I don’t wanna feel tense or uncomfortable in my own space.

I don’t wanna tiptoe around a person I barely know. and I definitely don’t wanna deal with “just a few weeks” turning into “i’m looking but nothing’s coming through yet” for 2 months. now ppl at work are acting like I’m the bad guy. sorry for not letting a coworker move into my apartment bc she had a bad fight? idk. i feel bad but like. also no.. Aita?

Saying no to a coworker’s housing request isn’t just about space—it’s about guarding your mental oasis. The woman’s firm stance reflects a deep need for control over her environment, especially after past roommate nightmares. Her coworker’s pushiness and subsequent gossip reveal a lack of respect for boundaries, while the woman’s polite refusal shows strength. Both sides have valid feelings: the coworker’s desperation is real, but so is the woman’s right to her home.

This situation mirrors a broader issue—boundary-setting in professional relationships. A 2022 study from the American Psychological Association (soucre) found that 65% of workers struggle to set limits with colleagues, often leading to stress. The coworker’s expectation to move in highlights how workplace familiarity can blur personal lines, creating tension when expectations aren’t met.

Psychologist Dr. Nedra Glover Tawwab notes, “Boundaries are the distance at which I can love you and me simultaneously” (soucre). Her insight underscores the woman’s choice to prioritize self-care over obligation. By declining, she avoids potential conflicts, like extended stays or personality clashes. Her coworker’s jail stint, while shocking, hints at deeper issues that could’ve disrupted her peace further.

To navigate this, she should calmly reinforce her stance at work, perhaps saying, “I’m sorry she’s struggling, but my home isn’t set up for guests.” If gossip persists, addressing it directly with a neutral tone can defuse tension.

Heres what people had to say to OP:

Reddit didn’t hold back, dishing out spicy takes with a side of humor—here’s what the online jury had to say! These Reddit gems are bold, but do they nail the truth? Maybe it’s less about being a hero and more about protecting your own vibe.

SpookyTeaTime − NTA - I don't understand why a coworker would feel entitled to your home? That's truly bizarre. Her life is not your responsibility. I mean, I could maybe get it if you were super close and good, long-term friends with a deep connection... but a casual coworker??

8-Bit-Queef − NTA. You don't need to find out first hand why her roommates and boyfriend don't want to live with her either.

ZookeepergameNo7151 − NTA For the co-workers saying you're letting the girl be homeless etc etc... Do you see them offering a place for her to crash? Exactly

Long-Trust-5870 − NTA and I think her reaction demonstrates you dodged a bullet here.

HonestPonder − NTA Maybe the snide co-workers should be housing her if they feel that strongly about it, or pool their resources to get her a home. Beyond it being “not your problem, not your responsibility” accepting a roommate is massive decision and once they’re in, it’s hard as hell to get them out. 

It sucks that they’re being immature about it and throwing shade, but she asked and you said no. You’re not an a**hole for setting boundaries. That’s your space, your home, your safe place. . And she probably got kicked out for a reason 😂 

IamIrene − I was thinking maybe I could just crash with you for a few weeks. And establish residency? LOL, I think not.. You are NTA but your coworker is entitled as hell for trying to push you into this. You owe her no explanations. She DOES have other resources, she just wants the easiest way out possible for herself, even if that means encroaching on you.

then another coworker tells me she said i “let her be homeless” when i “have an entire room to myself.” It's nice, isn't it? When a TA outs themselves like this? It makes them so much easier to spot, lol. That's nothing but manipulation in action to get what she wants out of you. She asked, you said no and that is literally the end of it. You are NOT the bad guy here.

She is trying to maneuver herself into your place for her benefit and I can guarantee you, by her actions you describe here, it would be a miserable situation for you. Protect your space, protect your peace and don't worry about what anyone else thinks because they don't understand what's really going on.. You are not required to set yourself on fire to keep others warm.

wesmorgan1 − All too often, situations like this become a hole with no bottom.. AITA is FULL of stories that begin with, 'it was only supposed to be for a few weeks...'. You do NOT owe her anything.. Your space is yours.. NTA - and tell anyone who suggests otherwise that they're free to share *their* space.

ArgentumVulpus − NTA. So she;. - got kicked out by her room mates for unspecified reasons.. - is curently staying with her boyfriend, but he doesn't want her there. - has no friends with a spare room/sofa. - has no family with a spare room/sofa. - knows no other coworkers with a spare room/sofa to ask. - is already ac using you of it being your fault she has nowhere to stay.

-has never before asked to spend time with you outside of work. - is throwing s**t around your work now Please do not back down from your stance, they may have just hit a real rough time through no fault of their own, but thats not what the facts are showing

cybin − NTA. First off, unless they've only been there a few days, NO ONE GETS LEGALLY KICKED OUT of where they live without a court order, and those don't happen overnight or even within a month. So co-worker should be asserting their rights and just go home.

wombatbattalion − NTA. Maybe you could practice saying something like, 'It's weird she's saying that. I sent her a couple places to look at because I just don't have the space. 🤷🏼' Make it feel like she's intruding (which she is) and how weird and uncomfortable it is that she asked someone she doesn't know to live with them.

Also, if she got into a fight with her roommates that's so bad they kicked her out, that's a red flag. It's also a red flag that she's staying with her bf and wants to move in with a stranger. This is giving 'missing missing reasons' vibes.

Life’s too short to let your safe space become someone else’s crash pad. This woman’s saga reminds us that saying no isn’t selfish—it’s survival. By standing firm, she’s kept her home a haven, even if it ruffled feathers. The coworker’s jail twist? A wild plot turn that proves some boundaries are cosmic gifts. What would you do if a coworker tried to move into your world? Spill your thoughts below!

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