AITA for not kicking my sister out of the house my parents bought for us for my girlfriend?

When a man opens his home to his partner, it’s meant to be a step toward deeper connection — not a battlefield over property and priorities. But for one Reddit user, the transition into cohabitation quickly turned into an emotional tug-of-war between his girlfriend and his family, after a deeply traumatic event forced his younger sister back into the shared family home.

The house wasn’t just bricks and walls — it was a haven built by his parents for him and his sister, and later intended as a holiday base for the whole family. So when his girlfriend suddenly started calling it “our house” and pushing his sister out, tensions reached a breaking point. Was he wrong to put family first, or did his girlfriend cross a line that no partner should? Let’s dive into this emotional rollercoaster.

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‘AITA for not kicking my sister out of the house my parents bought for us for my girlfriend?’

I, 30M been dating my girlfriend, 29F(Let's call her Leah) for a little over 2 years. About 3 months ago we talked about moving in together I suggested we rent a apartment together and live there. But my insisted she move into the house that I live in. For context, the house I live in is pretty much like a mansion.

Mulitple bedrooms, a pool, a huge garden area. My parents bought this house for me and my sister,25F(Let's call her Lily) when they went abroad. The plan was for us to live here until we got married and that my parents would move back in when they retire and it would be our family house to visit during holidays.

Until last year me and my sister used to live here but then she moved in with her fiance. I told her that she is welcome to move back in if she ever had any problems in the future. Her stuff and my parents stuff are still here so this is still our family house and not mine.

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So I told my gf that we choose to live here together then she has to deal with my sister or parents moving in here whenever they want and if she's uncomfortable with that then we have to move out. And I also told her that if we get married we certainly will not stay in this house. She agreed and moved in 3 months ago.

About a month ago I got a call from Lily from an unknown number crying in the middle of the night and asked me to come get her. I found her sitting on the pavement next to the road with an injury on her forehead, bleeding and a split lip and took her hospital.

I found out that her fiance was having an affair and when she confronted him and broke off the engagement, he got violent and hit her and she ran out of the house in panic. I had her move back in with me and we filed a complaint against her ex but he only got a month in prison because it wasn't 'that serious' according to the cops and judge and a restraining order.

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Now my gf is going off on me about how can I let my sister move back into our house without consulting her and I reminding her again that this wasn't our house and that my sister is in a very bad situation. I told my parents about this and they said they will move back in to take care of my sister so that me and Leah don't have to take responsibility for my sister.

But it'll take at least 2 months for my parents move back here because my father has a health condition(does not wish to disclose for personal reasons) which requires for him to be on regular check ups and treatment so it'll take time for them to transfer his reports to a hospital here and find a doctor who can treat him.

My parents requested me to stay with my sister until they got back because her ex would be already out of the prison by then and seriously neither me nor my parents want anything to happen. So I talked to my gf about it and told her that we have to move out of this house in two months.

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She refused and said that this is our house and that my sister is one the who has to leave. I reminded her again of our deal when we moved in but she refused to budge. I told her either we both move out after my parents move in or she can move into the apartment and I can stay with my sister until my parents get back here and move in with her after two months.

She begrudgingly agreed to stay until my parents move back in but has been condescendingly reminding me about how unfair it is that we have to move out of 'our' house because of my sister and my parents. I've been trying to be patient and reminded her multiple times that this is not our house.

The last straw was last week when she told my sister she should just suck it up and mode up with her fiance and not burden everyone around her because she is too sensitive. I had enough and told her to apologize or else we are over.

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She said I'm being ridiculous and that it's a joke and refused to apologize.. So I broke up with her and had her move out of our house. Now all her family and friends have been texting me about what an ahole I am for treating Leah like that and me and my sister should be ashamed for treating her like this.

've tried explaining to them about the situation but they are not having it. My family and friends are on my side but I started having doubts that maybe I've been too impulsive for breaking up with her like that or maybe I should've tried to reason with her.... I'm kind of lost on what to do....

Letting a partner move into your home can be a beautiful milestone — unless that home isn’t really yours alone. In this story, the issue wasn’t just a girlfriend versus a sister. It was about respect, trauma, and the meaning of shared space. From the beginning, the OP was transparent. He made it clear to his girlfriend, Leah, that the home belonged to his family, not to them as a couple, and that his sister and parents had every right to come and go. But as many psychologists point out, people often hear what they want to hear. Dr. Jenn Mann, a licensed psychotherapist, noted in Psychology Today, “People often agree to conditions at the beginning of a relationship thinking they can change them later.” And that’s what appears to have happened here — Leah moved in thinking she’d eventually claim the space.

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When OP’s sister, Lily, became a victim of domestic violence, he did what any decent brother would do: brought her to safety. Yet instead of offering support or at the very least compassion, Leah viewed her presence as an inconvenience. Her true character showed when she cruelly told Lily she should’ve stayed with her abuser rather than “burden everyone.” This isn’t just a red flag — it’s a blaring siren.

Domestic abuse is a serious and sadly widespread issue. According to the World Health Organization, 1 in 3 women globally have experienced physical or sexual violence. Victims often need time, space, and emotional support to recover. The OP’s family response — having his parents plan a return to care for Lily — shows a compassionate and thoughtful approach to crisis management. As for Leah’s behavior, Dr. Ramani Durvasula, a clinical psychologist known for her work on narcissistic relationships, warns that “a lack of empathy is often the first and most persistent sign of an unhealthy partner.” Leah’s refusal to apologize, her entitlement, and her family’s sudden attacks all point to someone more concerned with control than connection.

In the end, the OP made a painful but necessary choice. He didn’t abandon a girlfriend — he stood up for his values. The breakup wasn’t impulsive, it was overdue. When someone mocks trauma and disrespects clear boundaries, walking away isn’t harsh — it’s healthy. For others in similar situations, the lesson is simple: love should never come at the cost of your integrity or your loved ones’ safety.

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Here’s what Redditors had to say:

Here are some hot takes from the Reddit community — blunt, insightful, and not holding back:

BulbasaurRanch − I really hope you’re not actually planning on marrying this girl.. She’s not rational. She’s not worth the drama.. Her actions would make me seriously consider being associated with her in any way.. NTA. Edit: OP edited the post at some point, adding he broke up with her. That wasn’t present at time of this comment.

taewongun1895 − Her saying that it's 'our house' is a huge red flag. She is laying claim to a house that you clearly explained is not yours alone. She has ignored boundaries, and shown no compassion for your sister. Kick out the girlfriend, delete her number from your phone.. NTA

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th4ro2aw0ay − NTA! You have dodged a bullet! Leah fell in love with your lifestyle not you. Your parents gave you this house with terms & agreements, she knew your plan & agreed to it. She was never going to move out once your parents got there,

eventually she would’ve tried to convince you to kick your parents out or send your parents to a retirement home. Block all of Leahs family & friends.  OP you have a heart of gold for truly caring deeply for your family, please find someone who will reciprocate that. You will. 

Ill-Veterinarian4208 − Your girlfriend is a gold digger, she likes the nice house with the pool and doesn't want to give it up and agreed to your conditions just to get her foot in the door. Her family was probably hoping to get some kind of access to the house so now they're mad or your ex-has spun the story to paint herself as the victim.. Keep the family, make sure the ex- stays an ex.

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Regular_Boot_3540 − Your gf is the one in the wrong. She probably told everyone a twisted story that didn't include how many times you reminded her that the house isn't yours and hers. You told her, and you reminded her, and she persisted in acting entitled. I'm glad you broke up with her. I think that's just the tip of the iceberg of her entitlement. And I'm really impressed about how committed your family is to taking care of each other. NTA.

judgingA-holes − NTA She knew the deal before she ever moved in with you as you were straight with her from the start. My guess is that she thought once she moved in she could try to sway the situation in her favor. I say you did the right thing by breaking up with her. Your ex is an a**hole for saying your sister is a burden on her family and that she should suck up domestic violence.

RubyTx − Dear OP.. She doesn't think it's 'your' house. She thinks it is HER house.. And she's recruited flying monkeys to try to make you, your sister and your parents cede it to her.. This wasn't a joke. It was a test to see how far she could push. Please see her clearly and find someone with the kind of empathy you have. Your life will be much happier.. NTA

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glzq − You dodged a bullet there. The fact that she expected you to consult with her before helping your sister move back into her own house is a major red flag. She saw the mansion and expected that once she moved in, she would convince you to not let your sister or parents move back. You can't reason with people like that - you are better off without her! NTA

GrowFlowersNotWeeds − “…but I started having doubts that maybe I've been too impulsive for breaking up with her like that or maybe I should've tried to reason with her.... I'm kind of lost on what to do....” Please read your post again. You told her before she moved in that the house is not yours and that your sister and parents could move in and she could deal with it or you would move out.

You repeatedly gave her this information that this is not your house, if it is not your house, it is not her house. You’ve been extremely patient and and should’ve kicked her out a long time ago. What’s in this relationship for you? This woman does not listen to you, treats you with disrespect, and treat your family with disrespect. Good riddance.

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chrishemsworthsvest − Gold digger through and through.

Reddit’s verdict was crystal clear — NTA. While some stories get mixed reactions, this one drew near-universal support. But internet consensus aside, it’s worth asking: are these comments a fair reflection of real-life dynamics, or are we just seeing the tip of the iceberg?

At the heart of this story lies a timeless conflict: love vs. loyalty. When forced to choose between his sister’s safety and his girlfriend’s comfort, this man chose family — and many readers applauded him for it.

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But relationships are messy, and sometimes doing the right thing comes with backlash. What would you have done in his shoes? Would you have made the same decision — or tried harder to keep both sides happy? We’d love to hear your take. Drop your thoughts in the comments!

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