AITA for not inviting my sister (and her children) on a family trip to Disneyland?

A Disneyland trip should burst with joy—think Mickey ears and churros. But for one 25-year-old, it became a clash of old wounds. Her half-sister Diana, who long rejected her as family, demanded a spot on the guest list with her kids. After Diana’s cruel jabs at her engagement party, the woman stood firm, sparking family drama.

Her parents urged reconciliation, but was she wrong to protect her peace? Let’s unravel this tale of hurt and boundaries.

‘AITA for not inviting my sister (and her children) on a family trip to Disneyland?’

I have a half-sister “Diana”, who is more or less estranged from me (originally by her choice). Our dad married my mom three years after his late wife (Diana’s mom) passed away. Diana was 7 at the time but she bonded very quickly with my mom. They still have a good relationship.

Our parents had me a year later. Growing up Diana made it very clear she did not consider me her sister. She even outright told me I would never be family multiple times growing up. When I was a kid this used to really hurt me, and our parents tried very hard to get us to bond and even sent us to family therapy, but it never seemed to make a difference to Diana.

When she was 24 (I was 16) she married a wealthy man. They had a destination wedding. As her husband was paying for everything, she refused to let me come and I was forced to stay at home for two weeks whilst the rest of our family (including cousins from my mom’s side) enjoyed themselves.

She then showered our parents and other family members with expensive trips and luxury gifts, and intentionally mentioned them around me. She had two children who she refused to let me bond with. When she was 30, her husband divorced her. Diana was devastated and moved back in with our parents.

I’m now 25 (Diana is 33) and last year I got engaged to my boyfriend. I invited her to my engagement party, and much to my shock, she actually turned up. During the party she kept making snide comments about how I should “watch out for men with money as he’ll trade me in for a newer model soon enough”.

It was humiliating. After that, I decided to stop trying to form a relationship with her (and by extension my nieces). Earlier this year, me and my paternal cousin (who has a daughter and son) were planning a trip for Disneyland with my fiancé’s nephews and niece (which my fiancé offered to fund).

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My cousin must’ve mentioned it to Diana because she called me on the phone upset. She asked me why I was excluding her kids and how she couldn’t believe I was being so spiteful when we were finally mending our relationship. This was news to me. After the whole engagement fiasco, I was still angry at her so I told her “the trip is for family and since we’re not family why would I invite you?”, she hung up on me.

I received a call from my dad a few hours later and he was furious with me. He asked when I had become so petty and said whilst me and Diana didn’t get along as children, we should move past it. He went on a rant about how I was depriving my nieces because I was holding onto a childhood grudge and he expected better from me.

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He also mentioned the comment I made and said he was very disappointed I would say something like that. My mom called me after to ask me to apologise to Diana and extend an invitation for her but I refused. The trip ended up getting cancelled anyway but I still wonder if maybe I was the a**hole.

Family trips can feel like walking a tightrope, especially when old grudges linger like uninvited guests. The Reddit user’s clash with Diana highlights a classic case of setting boundaries amid unresolved family tension. Diana’s past actions—excluding her sister from a wedding and dismissing her as family—set the stage for this conflict. Meanwhile, the parents’ pressure to “move past” childhood slights ignores the emotional toll of years of rejection.

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Dr. John Gottman, a renowned relationship expert, notes, “Unresolved conflicts don’t disappear; they fester and shape future interactions”. Here, Diana’s history of exclusion and her engagement party jabs suggest a pattern, not a one-off. The Reddit user’s sharp retort, while biting, reflects a boundary drawn from years of hurt. Her parents’ bias toward Diana, evident in their defense of her despite her actions, complicates the dynamic further.

This situation mirrors broader issues of family favoritism. A 2018 study from the Journal of Family Psychology found that perceived parental favoritism can lead to long-term resentment and fractured sibling bonds. The Reddit user’s choice to exclude Diana isn’t just about a trip—it’s about reclaiming agency in a relationship where she’s long felt sidelined.

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

Reddit’s hot takes are in, and they’re as spicy as a churro at Disneyland! The community weighed in with candid, sometimes cheeky, support for the Reddit user’s stance.

[Reddit User] − NTA. It's your trip. You have the right to include only the people you want to go with. They can do their own trip to Disneyland, and no 'deprivation' need occur. Where does this entitlement come from? Your parents are unbelievable too.

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myglasswasbigger − NTA. Diana is wanting you to be family when it is convenient to her. The past isn't magically washed away now she isn't on the top of the heap. Your mom and dad are enabling her bad behavior, where were they when she was being hateful to you. It wouldn't be depriving your nieces as it isn't a given anyone should go. I would stay as far from her as I possibly could.

5115E − she refused to let me come and I was forced to stay at home for two weeks whilst the rest of our family (including cousins from my mom’s side) enjoyed themselves. And your parents let that happen. They showed you then and at every opportunity since that time, that your feelings do not matter and that they will never prioritize you if Diana is involved.

Tell them that the fact that they are both hounding you on behalf of a 33-year old who humiliated you at your own engagement party is the clearest evidence of how little things have changed -- both with Diana and with them. They do not value you or your feelings, they are only interested in pleasing Diana. Keep this in mind as you plan for your wedding.

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Think long and hard right now about whether you want your parents there; it's not required. They were happy to leave you alone to attend Diana's wedding, they can stay home for yours. In fact, if they try to impose her on you any way at all, I would type up a letter detailing what you said here and tell them this time will be their last opportunity to choose.. **NTA** (forgot to vote)

the_last_basselope − NTA. Did they ever rant at DIANA for being such an a**hole to you and deliberately leaving you out of important trips and events, or is it just you? Tell your dad that maybe it would be different if he and your mom had stood up for you against Diana when it mattered, but you're old enough now that you have accepted that not only will Diana never treat you like a sister except when she wants something from you,

but you also now very clearly realize who his favorite child is because he is yelling at you for doing things he never yelled at Diana for, and if he ever mentions it again you will cut him out of your life too.. Draw a hard line now before your children also become victims of his favoritism.

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Informal-Relation − NTA. You don’t have a close relationship with Diana, so why would you invite her on a family trip? It’s sad that your parents are siding with her and expecting you to be the bigger person, when for years she has excluded you from her life.

HelpMeUpPls − WTF? This woman was cruel to you your entire life, excluded you from her destination wedding (being enabled by and with the complacency of **your entire family**), blocked your from being an aunt, ruined your engagement party and now has the audacity to claim family when a free vacation is involved (again with your parents’ support, I might add)?

You comment might have been cutting, but this is a **Hard NTA**. I’d text this to your dad: “Excuse me? We’re talking about the women who has taken multiple opportunities to tell me I am not family, has shown that she believes it by not inviting to be at her wedding, has blocked me from having any relationship with her daughters,

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and then ruined my engagement party with her HORRIBLE comments after I invited her despite our history, and you have the AUDACITY to call ME the petty one? You better leave this one alone because I am NOT having it. Hard boundary for me, and she brought it on herself. Do not cross this line.”

[Reddit User] − NTA. She was a massive A for years, saying youre not her sister, excluding you from events, then talking poorly at your shower. But then when something would be convenient for her (Disney Land) you’re suddenly “family” and “mending your relationship”??? Uhhh that’s a NO from me dawg. That’s not how life works. No wonder her husband left her.

JessVaping − NTA Op, and you're really the only one in your family that isn't, besides the cousins. Your family left for your sister's destination wedding for 2 weeks without you. That's enough of a reason to not want to be stuck with her at the happiest place on Earth or whatever their slogan is these days.

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Diana has been terrible to you and got away with it your whole life. She really amped up the alienation once she got married. Then she was crappy at your engagement party that you were nice enough to invite her to. She wants to go on a trip on your fiance's dime, and she's whined about it enough for your parents to get in on it too.

Your parents are responsible for letting her treat you poorly your whole life, why should she stop now? The snide remarks aren't going to stop, especially if the two of you have more money than she does. I'm sure your parents will urge you to feel sorry for her too.

Think of it this way. IIRC you are now only 2 years older than she was when she decided that her 16 year old sister should be left at home, without her parents, and the whole rest of the family got to go on a great big wedding trip. I can't imagine the mental gymnastics your parents went through to justify that happening.

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Petty Jess would probably give them some of the justification she used to keep you at home by yourself, over and over again substituting Disney for wedding. Rational Jess would send the parents a nice long email of slights over the years and how they've made you feel

and move right on and start a new family without those jerks, unless they agreed to therapy and gave genuine apologies. How nice would your sister be on this trip? How nice do you think she'll be to your kids? Diana doesn't seem like the type to be happy when other people have things she doesn't.

gwacemom − NTA. You have every right to remove toxic people from your life and she sounds toxic.

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CorgiManDan − NTA. Ask dear old dad that what was his excuse , as an adult, for leaving behind his 16 year old daughter when sis got married?. You don't have a childhood grudge. You have parents with double standards. If you need to to escalate it more:

'Dad, you had no problem depriving your nieces from having a relationship with their aunt when they were little. This is too far. You and mom need to do an honest assessment of what has brought us to this point. Don't say anything now. Call me later, and if it is with anything other than an apology than you aren't coming to the wedding and I will be thinking about how you and mom fit into my future. '

These opinions pack a punch, but do they capture the full picture? Reddit’s chorus leans heavily toward cutting toxic ties, yet real life often demands messier compromises.

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This Disneyland drama unearths a universal truth: family ties can be as tricky as navigating a crowded theme park. The Reddit user’s stand against Diana reflects a bid for self-respect, but her parents’ push for reconciliation shows how families cling to harmony, even at a cost. Was she right to draw a line, or should she have extended an olive branch? Share your thoughts—what would you do if old family wounds clashed with a dream vacation?

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