AITA for not helping my brother and my ex with the kid they had together and telling my parents to step up if help is deserved?

Discovering infidelity is painful enough, but finding out your partner cheated with your own sibling takes betrayal to another level. For one man, that shock didn’t end with the breakup. It followed him into months of emotional pressure, family arguments, and a baby he was expected to care about despite everything that had happened.

What makes this situation especially tense is the role his parents now play. While they insist the baby’s wellbeing should outweigh past betrayals, he believes stepping back is the only way to protect his peace. As the story spread across social media, readers weighed in heavily, debating loyalty, responsibility, and whether “family” should always come first.

AITA for not helping my brother and my ex with the kid they had together and telling my parents to step up if help is deserved?

Everything unraveled after years of what the poster believed was a stable relationship

I (25m) was dating Jade (24f) for four years. We broke up several months ago when I found out she'd been sleeping with my brother Tommy (24m) for months or...

Hell maybe they were secretly cheating since the start. I don't even know anymore. Jade and I lived together and I thought we were expecting a baby together.

Then I walked in on them. I didn't catch them in the middle of s__ or even in bed. But it looked intimate and way too comfortable. They told me...

Tommy said he'd never do me like that. We're brothers and we're there for each other and BS like that. I broke up with Jade. She and Tommy still said...

After the breakup, the situation took an even darker turn once pregnancy entered the picture

But once Jade realized I was serious and I wasn't supporting her through the pregnancy any further and wanted a DNA test, Tommy came crawling to me begging for me...

He told me I could be the dad and raise the baby and he'd never be with Jade again but she wanted what I could offer her and the baby...

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Our parents were shocked by what had happened. But also frustrated because Tommy was bouncing from job to job after college. He had no stability or stable income and Jade...

While I had gone to trade school and was earning good money and had stable employment already. They berated Tommy and Jade like crazy and I stepped away from the...

I said I would only step back in and communicate with Jade if the baby was mine. And I said I'd pay for a DNA test. Even without knowing they...

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When the results came back, the truth was undeniable

My parents paid for Tommy to take a DNA test the same time I did and the DNA proved he was the father, not me. Jade begged me to take...

I blocked her everywhere after that and did the same with Tommy. They still tracked me down in public but I ignored them. I told Tommy we weren't family anymore

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and to remember that he was the one who broke our relationship, not me. The baby's about 4 months old now. And my parents are taking issue with the fact...

Months later, his parents pushed him again, this time framing it as a moral obligation

They told me I could have sent the baby a gift or something. That I'm still the uncle if I'm not the father. I told them I wanted nothing to...

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My parents argued that a good uncle was still important and the baby hasn't done anything to deserve being rejected. I said the baby is innocent

but they're attached to the parents who are both pieces of s__t who deserve nothing from me. I told my parents we're talking about the same people who expected me...

Who tried to force my name on the birth certificate. Those people. I said the baby might be doomed but I don't feel responsible for saving them from that life.

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My parents said Tommy and Jade need help for the sake of the baby and the baby's wellbeing should be all anyone cares about. I rolled my eyes and my...

And there had been a 50% chance the baby was mine. How could all those feelings just vanish like that. They said the baby deserves that and even Tommy to...

His response was blunt and final

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I suggested that they should step up if they feel help is so deserved because I'm not gonna. They said I was breaking their hearts and Tommy's heart and one...

This conflict highlights a painful clash between emotional trauma and family expectations. From the poster’s perspective, cutting contact is an act of self-preservation after deep betrayal. Trust was broken by both his partner and his brother, followed by attempts at deception involving legal documents and parenthood. For many people, that crosses a line that cannot simply be repaired by time.

From the parents’ point of view, the focus has shifted entirely to the baby. While understandable on a human level, this mindset can unintentionally minimize the emotional harm done to their other child. Family systems often default to damage control rather than accountability, especially when an innocent child is involved.

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Relationship researcher Dr. John Gottman has explained that betrayal fundamentally changes how people feel safe in relationships. As he notes, “Trust is built in very small moments, and it’s broken the same way.” In this case, the repeated lies and pressure eroded any remaining sense of safety the poster had with his family.

Practically speaking, experts often advise separating compassion from obligation. Acknowledging that a child is innocent does not automatically create responsibility for someone who was wronged. Healthy boundaries allow individuals to heal without being forced into roles that reopen emotional wounds. Long-term, respecting those boundaries may be the only way to preserve any chance of future reconciliation.

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

Many users rallied behind the poster, urging him to protect his peace after such a deep betrayal

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eratoesben − NTA protect your peace. You were betrayed by two people who were closest to you. You owe them nothing, reinforce this to yourself! They did not make a...

they made conscious decisions over and over again and were even going to pass off your brother’s child as your own. Ignore the dog whistles and focus on yourself as...

Get therapy, surround yourself with people who support you and your choices. Sometimes it’s not enough to cut out just those two toxic evil people but their enablers too. I...

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FirmCalligrapher639 − NTA. What about your heart? You're being cast as the villain when you've done nothing wrong. They've made their bed. ...

ExtremeJujoo − NTA Your parents need to knock this s__t off, like, yesterday. If they are so concerned about the baby and Tommy and Jade, then they can help out.

But this is not your problem, you don’t owe any of them, including their baby, jackshit. Oh! My favorite part if Tommy saying he would never be with Jade again...

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What a pig. I guarantee you, once you took her back and played dada to her kid, she would go right back to ho-ing around, be it with Tommy or...

Tell your parents if they keep up with the emotional terrorism, they will end up on the non contact list too. Hopefully that jolts them back to reality. Tommy and...

MossMyHeart − NTA why don’t they gaf that your heart was broken first?

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DynkoFromTheNorth − And there had been a 50% chance the baby was mine. That's not true. She's a cheater, so chances of you being the father were way slimmer.

NTA. You were being conspired against. People who love you don't do that. A baby being a baby isn't enough to forgive them. I wouldn't.

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Others focused on the parents’ role and the pressure they were applying

yameretzu − NTA the ex and brother betrayed you and are in no way the victim, then tried to committ fraud. They deserve nothing. Your parents sound like they want...

and brother aren't very good at looking after themselves so they are trying to put you in that position. But at the end of the day, they are choosing to...

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Actions have consequences and those are for the parents to deal with. I agree with some people about moving away. I'd also keep an eye on your credit in case...

FinancialCamel7281 − Nta go LC with your parents if that what it takes, they were just as willing to deceive you as your brother and ex were. They have zero...

Sweet-Sleep3004 − Do a credit check on yourself and place alerts for any new application for loans and credit cards for peace of mind.

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They have betrayed you in the worst way possible. Jade only wanted to stay for your money and what you could provide. That is not love. That is a gold...

You can and should protect your peace. You do not need to be an uncle if you don't feel up to it. You do not need to send money in...

If your parents keep commenting on this, go low contact and rebuild your life. Do therapy for yourself. I hope you don't write off future relationships but do remember,

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trust is earned not freely giving, trust those who prove they are loyal and honest. You deserve better and worth better

JTBlakeinNYC − NTA. Honestly, I would move as far away as possible, and cut them off entirely. But if that feels like too big of a step,

just block your brother and ex and inform your parents that the next time they bring it up, you’ll go no contact with them also.

Quiet-Hamster6509 − " Funny how all of you now only want me in the picture for the money I would put into it. You're no different from them.

I'm not am uncle because I no longer have a brother. I'm this close to cutting every single one of you off. Keep at me and I'll gladly walk away...

Some responses were blunt, emotional, and brutally honest

snvoigt − I would tell every family member to get fucked.

iknowsomethings2 − NTA. Your whole family are POS. How can your parents actually expect you to play happy families. They can f__k all the way off.

Your ex and brother deserve what they get. If I were you, I would just move away for a fresh start. It’s not like your parents are that great either....

Puzzleheaded-Ask-157 − NTA My family have what I always thought was a n__ty habit of cutting people off for the strangest of reasons,

my grandmother recently cut off my mother for looking after her in her home after she had a minor stroke, rather than leaving her in hospital? !- reading this, I’m...

You have absolutely no responsibility towards your brother, your ex or their child. I’m sorry your parents have taken leave of their senses because “ahhhhh baby”.

You said you have other people in your life, lean on them and leave the crazy where it belongs, behind you in the past.

No_Reserve2269 − Was your brother always more important than you? Was he always allowed to cross the line without consequence? If so, it's time for him to learn, and for...

charlyFarley123 − Seriously? You dodged a bullet and your parents are trying to put you back in the firing line. They can all be off, with a very, very large...

This story lays bare how betrayal can fracture families far beyond the original act. While the baby is innocent, forcing responsibility onto someone who was deeply wronged may only create more damage. Compassion does not have to mean sacrifice without consent. In a situation like this, where would you draw the line between family duty and protecting your own mental health?

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