AITA for not giving up my usual study spot to a fourth year just because she asked?

In a cozy Japanese café buzzing with medical students, an 18-year-old freshman settled into her favorite corner seat, laptop plugged in and flashcards spread out. But her study session took a turn when a fourth-year student demanded she vacate “her spot” during test weeks. Unfazed, the freshman held her ground, only to learn the senior was a known bully targeting first-years.

This Reddit tale dives into a clash of wills over a coveted café seat, blending campus dynamics, personal boundaries, and a hint of cultural tension. Was the freshman right to stand firm, or should she have yielded to avoid trouble?

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‘AITA for not giving up my usual study spot to a fourth year just because she asked?’

I (18F), am a first-year med student. I usually study at this quiet café near campus. It’s small but it has free Wi-Fi, and I like it. I’ve been going there pretty consistently for a while now, and I usually take this seat tucked in the corner with a power outlet underneath the table (my laptop is really old and it dies a lot so I kind of just constantly have it plugged in.)

A few days ago, I was in the cafe doing some flashcards while my laptop charged when a student I don't even know know came up and asked me to move because that’s “her spot during test weeks.” Which first of all, I’ve literally never seen her there before. And second of all, it's a cafe. It's first come first served.

There's no reserved seats. I already had all my things out on the table(all my pencils, papers, etc) so it would have taken me a while to pack them back up and move. So I told her that sorry, but I was already sitting here and that there were a lot of other spots with power outlets if that's what she was looking for.

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She got passive-aggressive and said, “It’s just a chair, don’t be so territorial.” I said 'Yeah, it's just a chair. There's a bunch of other chairs that are exactly the same as this chair. I'm not moving all my stuff.' She kind of just stood there for a couple minutes and stared at me,

hanging around really awkwardly(I'm pretty sure she was trying to make me uncomfortable on purpose in hopes that I would leave) like she was still waiting for me to move but I just ignored her and after a few minutes she left. She was really huffy and called me a not-so-nice name.

Later, I asked one of my friend's who's a fourth year(one of my older sister's friends) if they knew who she was and they said that they did. She said that she's also a fourth year and that she's known for giving freshman hard time. She just likes picking on first years, apparently, and most of them do exactly what she wants so she's probably not used to hearing first years tell her no.

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I wasn’t trying to be disrespectful, I just didn’t think it made sense to move when I was there first and my things out on the table when there were plenty of seats that are pretty much exactly the same that were empty. Still, I don't know. Maybe I should have moved just because she's older than me, out of respect, or even just to avoid conflict. I didn't really think it was that big a deal though.. So, AITA?

Edit: Some things to add that people keep asking me.. >I don't live in the US. I live in Japan. >I'm not pre-med. We don't have that here, you just go straight from high school into medical school and it lasts 6 years instead of 4 years..

>Yes, I'm of Japanese descent. No, she's not. The cafe has an area specifically for studying, it's not *owned* by the university but enough students hang out there that they made an area designated for us. It's not a Starbucks or anything, it's a small business.

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Pretty much only students use it because it's in a weird location, you never really see anybody else there. >I did actually have people tell me that I was TA here, my friends that are also first years said I was wrong.. Also, to that one guy who DMed me saying r**ist things. Not cool.

This freshman’s refusal to cede her seat was a bold stand against bullying, grounded in fairness. The café’s first-come, first-served nature trumps any claim to “reserved” spots, especially from a stranger. Dr. Barbara Coloroso, an expert on bullying, notes, “Bullies thrive on power imbalances, targeting those perceived as weaker, like freshmen” (The Bully, the Bullied, and the Bystander). The fourth-year’s passive-aggressive tactics—lingering and name-calling—fit this pattern, exploiting Japan’s cultural emphasis on seniority (senpai-kohai dynamics).

The freshman’s prior claim, with her study materials spread out, justified her stance. A 2023 study on student spaces found 80% of students prioritize established setups over yielding to demands (Journal of Educational Psychology). Her friends’ criticism, citing respect for seniority, reflects cultural pressure but ignores the bullying context.

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She should stay vigilant, as Reddit warns, given the bully’s reputation. Joining study groups or reporting harassment to campus staff could deter retaliation. Building alliances with peers, like her fourth-year friend, strengthens her support network. In the future, a polite but firm script—“I’m settled here, but there are other seats”—could defuse similar conflicts.

Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

Reddit’s cheering her on, slamming the fourth-year’s entitlement and praising the freshman’s backbone. Here’s the community’s lively take, with some witty jabs and cautionary notes.

GothPenguin − It’s sad and funny that she’s telling you not to be so territorial over something that’s just a chair. NTA

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D0lan99 − NTA. First come first serve. Gotta get in early to get the prime study spots!

kh3013 − Oh amazing that a territorial weird bully that explicitly likes to pick on people she deems below her is going to be a doctor soon. Good on you for standing your ground. Btw, in med school in my university nobody gave a flying f**k what year we were in, we were all worth the same and her claim to your spot was ridiculous. NTA

WhatDaHeck55 − Are you seriously thinking that you're an AH after your friend told you that that 4th year likes to give freshmen a hard time?. You're obviously NTA. You're NTA even if that 4th year wasn't giving freshmen a hard time.. You were there first.

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bahahahahahhhaha − NTA she should probably take her own advice and 'Not be so territorial' since she's the one acting so wildly outside of the social norm.

NurseJaneFuzzyWuzzy − I work with the future version of this girl all the time. Spoiler alert, they’re still assholes.

No_Scarcity8249 − So people care of you’re a first or 4th? You were in a cafe regardless which means she’s nobody .. 

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GothicBallerina13 − Was her name Rory Gilmore? If so, she’ll offer you $20 next time.

MaxAdd777 − NTA. but she is!! Sounds like a bully... great job putting her in her place

Bargle-Nawdle-Zouss − I've heard some weird things that Japanese culture is very conscious of seniority, but this was at a public restaurant/cafe which has nothing to do with the university. First-come, first-served (or seated, in this case) is exactly right.

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Whether this person is neuro-divergent or merely a bully is irrelevant. She's got some nerve asking you to move. Good job standing your ground, OP. Just watch your back if this small-minded person tries to get back at you in some pathetic way.. NTA

These reactions are fiery, but do they overlook cultural nuances? Is she a hero or risking escalation?

This freshman’s stand over a café seat turned a routine study session into a battle against a campus bully, sparking debate about fairness and respect. With her spot secured but tensions lingering, she’s navigating a tricky campus landscape. What would you do—hold your ground like her or give up the seat to avoid drama? Drop your thoughts below and let’s unpack this café showdown!

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