AITA for not giving my Mom 2 grand?

A man, scarred from a traumatic dog attack at age three, faces pressure from his mother to give her $2,000 from a $75,000 settlement he’ll receive at 25, awarded for his injuries. His mother, who initiated the lawsuit against her sister’s insurance company, previously misused $2,000 set aside for his plastic surgery, which he chose not to pursue, and has a history of neglectful parenting, leaving his father as his primary caregiver.

Her persistent demands, coupled with guilt-tripping texts and insults, have made him question giving her any money, especially since he planned to share some with both parents before her entitled behavior. The Reddit community largely supports his reluctance, criticizing his mother’s manipulative tactics and sense of entitlement. Is he wrong to withhold the money, or is his stance justified given her past actions and current pressure?

‘AITA for not giving my Mom 2 grand?’

At three, the man was severely injured by his aunt’s dog, leaving a lasting scar:

When I was 3 I was mauled by my aunts dog. It was pretty bad and I have a pretty sick scar on my face from it. It was not...

My mom decided to sue her sisters insurance company since it was really expensive and this was not the first time this dog bit a family member.. Anyways, the lawsuit...

His mother sued her sister’s insurance company, securing a settlement:

My mom is currently asking me for 2 grand. And I dont know if I'm the a**hole or not for not wanting go give it to her.. Here's my reasoning...

- Part of the settlement was for plastic surgery. 2 grand was set aside for me when I was 10. I decided not to go through with plastic surgery, I...

He reflects on his own parenting perspective, contrasting with his mother’s request:

-Now that I have a child of my own, if this happened to my baby girl I wouldn't be asking for 2 grand from her since it was her traumatic...

- My mom was a terrible Mom during most of my life. My dad was pretty much the only one raising me. My dad isn't asking money from me. My...

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-suing her sister caused a rift in her family.

-she spent several days on unpaid leave taking care of me.

-it was a lot of work and stress on her suing her sister I was going to give some money to my mom and dad anyways but now since my...

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His mother justifies her request, citing her efforts in the lawsuit:

My mom likes to remind me that my dad wasn't going to sue. And that since she came up with the idea of the lawsuit makes her entitled to some...

But my thing is, that's something a good parent should've done. She thinks she should be rewarded for being a good parent for once in her life.

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Now my mom is angrily texting me and calling me horrible names. Saying I'm selfish and if it wasn't for her I'd have no settlement money. Shes giving me a...

The man’s reluctance to give his mother $2,000 reflects deep-seated resentment from her neglectful parenting and misuse of funds meant for his recovery, highlighting a sense of entitlement on her part (family dynamics theory). Her aggressive demands and guilt-tripping tactics suggest an attempt to exploit his settlement, framing her parental duties as transactional rather than obligatory.

Her past misuse of the $2,000 for plastic surgery, which he declined, points to a pattern of prioritizing personal indulgences over his well-being, undermining her claim to parental obligation. Her focus on the lawsuit’s stress and family rift ignores the trauma he endured, which the settlement was meant to compensate.

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This conflict risks further estranging their already strained relationship, potentially affecting his child’s connection to her grandmother. His mother’s manipulative behavior could perpetuate cycles of guilt and obligation, impacting his emotional health.

To move forward, he should set firm boundaries, clearly stating that the settlement is his compensation for trauma, not a shared resource. If he chooses to give her money, it should be a fixed amount with no further expectations, ideally after consulting a financial advisor to secure his and his child’s future. Seeking therapy could help him process past neglect and navigate this conflict without succumbing to guilt.

These are the responses from Reddit users:

Reddit’s abuzz with opinions, from firm support to sharp critiques, on this family dispute! The community splits into four perspectives: supporting his refusal, condemning his mother’s actions, offering practical solutions, and providing thoughtful reflections.

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Many users back his decision to withhold the money, citing her entitlement and past misuse.

SusiePadfoot - NTA. Sounds like she already got her 2k when you were 10 and spent it. No reason to continue paying for her hobbies.

Twolegging - NTA. You were the one who experienced the traumatic attack. Also, you technically already gave her the 2 grand when you didn’t get the plastic surgery and she...

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She sounds entitled; just because you’re getting money due to the lawsuit she put forth doesn’t mean you owe her anything. There was no lawsuit without your trauma and your...

sizzlingtofu - NTA she already got 2k from you and that sounds like a fair compensation for her part. She’s angry because she’s selfish and wants your money. Don’t give...

[Reddit User] - NTA. That’s your money, you give it or don’t give it to who you like.

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missmisfit - NTA, sounds like you need a lot less of this woman in your life.

Several users harshly criticize his mother’s manipulative behavior and sense of entitlement:

Suniskys - NTA. Yes, you have 75k because of her, but you also have scars and went through a traumatic experience through no fault of your own. I’m not saying...

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sarcastic-barista - NTA. if you give in now, the leech will return for more blood. better to burn the bridge and be free of a terrible influence and happy than...

CrypticBogBadger - NTA By your mother’s logic, you owe your aunt’s dog some money since if it hadn’t bit you, there’d be no need for a lawsuit in the first...

No. She had her two grand. She spent it. Sucks to be her, but you are not an ATM and not obligated to give her one cent of the money...

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Some users offer practical advice, weighing the pros and cons of giving her money.

Niteynitenurse - NTA. Tell her you’ll give her $2K as soon as she pays back the $2K that was supposed to be for your surgery.

BrokenAshcraft - Nta. Sounds like she was hoping to get the money for herself but she was fucked when the judge ruled it was going in to a trust for...

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BUT 2k isn’t much out of 75k. I’d give it to her and tell her its ALL she is getting and stick to that promise. In my opinion 2k isn’t...

Thoughtful comments delve into the mother’s motives and long-term implications:

strawberryshortycake - -suing her sister caused a rift in her family -she spent several days on unpaid leave taking care of me -it was a lot of work and stead...

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You said the accident happened when you were 3, so I’m assuming this took place around then? Being that the money went to you at 25, I’ll assume 22 years...

[Reddit User] - I learned to love my scars. My mom decided to take that money and gamble/drink it away. Op, I want you to know I made the most...

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My mom was a terrible Mom during most of my life. My dad was pretty much the only one raising me. My dad isn’t asking money from me Than your...

-suing her sister caused a rift in her family -she spent several days on unpaid leave taking care of me -it was a lot of work and stress on her...

She took some time off work to be a parent, and making sure something came of your aunts negligence was hard work? Hmmm? You were the one who actually had...

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Three might be a young age, but it isn’t so young that lasting memories don’t occur. I was going to give some money to my mom and dad anyways but...

An unasked for bit of money is a gift, a demanded bit of money is enabling a bad bit of behaviour. My mom likes to remind me that my dad...

Put differently, your mother sued hoping for a payout that she could get her hands on. The payout ended up having a stipulation of who got what and when, and...

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Also the money was still meant for you because you were the one who suffered. But my thing is, that’s something a good parent should’ve done. She thinks she should...

EXACTLY! ** Only users, abusers, and overall toxic individuals think otherwise. A good parent does what they have to for their kids, they go the extra mile, and they bring...

A bad parent puts in the minimal effort and then demands interest from their kid as if raising them was akin to their child taking out a loan from a...

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Now my mom is angrily texting me and calling me horrible names. OP, you should take out some twenties and wipe your tears on camera for your mother, because you...

_lthc - INFO - So does your mom have a drinking/gambling problem still? And also, is she asking or begging? If you can reasonably suspect her to waste that money,...

If not you‘re kind of an a**hole, you thought about giving her some money anyways the fact that she asked for it shouldn‘t change anything. whyareallthegoodones - NTA. Keep the...

neobeguine - NTA and it makes me question your mom’s motives for the lawsuit in the first place, especially since she already spent your plastic surgery money on something frivilous...

(why didn’t she put is aside for college for you or something if you decided against plastic surgery? ). Since you bring up having a child, you could consider investing...

This family dispute, centered on a man’s refusal to give his mother $2,000 from his settlement for a childhood trauma, underscores issues of entitlement, neglect, and parental responsibility. The Reddit community largely supports his stance, condemning his mother’s manipulative guilt-tripping and past misuse of his funds, though some suggest a small payment to avoid a permanent rift.

The situation raises questions about familial obligations and the ethics of demanding compensation for parenting duties. Should he give in to maintain peace, or stand firm to protect his financial security? How does one navigate a parent’s manipulative demands without enabling harmful behavior?

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