AITA for not buying my daughter an iphone?

A mother is standing firm on her rule against buying expensive phones for her teenage daughters, even as her younger child throws a tantrum over wanting the latest iPhone. The family has a clear policy: no phones over $300 from parents, and individual gifts rarely exceed $400 unless truly beneficial. While the 16-year-old saved up to buy her own iPhone 15, the 13-year-old demands the same treatment without effort, claiming it’s embarrassing not to match her friends and unfair compared to her sister.

What makes the story more complicated is the husband’s sudden push to cave in, arguing equality between siblings, while the mother worries about rewarding entitlement and slighting the older daughter who worked hard. This everyday parenting decision has escalated into silent treatment and accusations of ruining a young life, leaving many wondering where to draw the line between fairness, discipline, and peer pressure.

‘AITA for not buying my daughter an iphone?’

The family has long held a strict policy on expensive gadgets for their teens.

I have two daughters 16 and 12. Me and my husband agreed that we wouldn't buy our kid expensive phones above 300 dollars I feel like they are a waste...

can save up for one if they want but we won't buy them one We try to not spend more than 400 dollars on individual gifts unless it's something that...

The older daughter proved the system works by earning her dream phone herself.

Our 16 year old recently saved up money and bought an iphone 15 previously she has used a samsung phone we gave her for her 13th birthday.

Our 13 year old has an old galaxy s8 which still works well she wanted another phone for Christmas we told her we would get her phone as long as...

and says it's unfair that he sister has an iphone but she doesn't I told her that she could do chores/babysit or save up birthday/Christmas money from relatives to get...

Tension rises as the husband wavers and the younger daughter escalates the conflict.

My husband thinks we should buy her an iphone because it's unfair that her sister has one but she doesn't . I told my husband that it's unfair for us...

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My daughter is angry at me and says that all her friends have iphones and it's embarrassing not to have one I offered to get her an refurbished iphone for...

but I said I wouldn't spend more I don't think a 13 year old needs an 800 dollar smartphone.. Now she hasn't been speaking to me for a few hours...

This situation highlights a classic parenting dilemma: balancing consistent rules with emotional fairness in a world driven by peer pressure and status symbols. The mother’s approach emphasizes financial responsibility and delayed gratification, teaching teens that luxury items require effort rather than demands. By holding the line, she reinforces that privileges are earned, which can build resilience and appreciation—skills far more valuable than any gadget.

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Opposing views, like the husband’s concern for sibling equality, stem from a desire to avoid hurt feelings in the moment. Yet this risks undermining long-term lessons, as caving to tantrums often breeds entitlement and resentment among siblings who followed the rules. The 13-year-old’s claims of embarrassment reflect real social dynamics among teens, where brand names signal belonging, but giving in validates superficial priorities over personal growth.

From a broader perspective, this reflects societal shifts toward instant gratification fueled by social media and advertising. Many families face similar battles over devices that double as status markers. Standing firm, as the mother does, models healthy boundaries and equality based on behavior, not demands—ultimately fostering independent adults rather than dependent consumers.

Here’s what people had to say to OP:

Many users rallied behind the mother, stressing that rewarding hard work matters more than avoiding tears.

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Ok-Huckleberry6975 − No, NTA buying her a phone would be unfair to the daughter who saved up for one and make her mad

nonsensicaltexthere − NTA. 13-year-old doesn't need a 800 dollar phone. My husband thinks we should buy her an iphone because it's unfair that her sister has one but she doesn't...

Well, her sister saved the money for the phone so how exactly is it unfair? My daughter is angry at me and says that all her friends have iphones,

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and it's embarrassing not to have one It's kinda funny to see how this "EVERYONE ELSE HAS THING X" seems to be an universal teenager argument for anything.

The amounts of stuff that EVERYONE ELSE had when I was young, how EVERYONE ELSE were allowed to go to all parties, to be so late out. .. Yea right.

ZookeepergameNo7151 − NTA she threw a fit and says it's unfair that he sister has an iphone but she doesn't Tough s__t

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BroncosGirl7LJD − *My husband thinks we should buy her an iphone because it's unfair that her sister has one but she doesn't . * So one had to work for...

[Reddit User] − No, you should stand firm with your decision. Daughter is throwing a fit and testing boundaries.

You have to explain to you daughter that it’s now what we buy or own makes us better people, it’s how we behave and are. Then when she calms down...

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If she really wants an iPhone, work out a plan with her to do chores or summer jobs to get a iPhone 15. That way she will also take care...

But I also see nothing wrong with wanting good stuff from life and being positively jealous of our friends. Makes us want to work hard for things in life.

Also if you all have an iPhone and she the only one with a Samsung, then she doesn’t have access to some features. But the way she insist on latest...

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Make sure tho that you have planned for insurance, either home or apple insurance (for new phones only). Cause those are expensive to repair otherwise. Like you said buying her...

A few commenters offered nuance, acknowledging peer pressure while still supporting firm boundaries.

[Reddit User] − Should I just get her an iphone AITA Absolutely not, that will just make your older daughter so incredibly and justifiably mad. I think buying a used...

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She can yell all she wants about it being unfair, she doesn’t understand that it makes her look so much more immature to not understand why it’s fair for her...

At most, next year you can consider getting *both of them* be newest iPhone if you have really had a change of heart about the cost of phones. But you...

nousernamesleft24 − NTA. Here's an example of what will happen if you do this. My sister is 3 years younger than me. My parents have never had a lot of...

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My sister was given everything. In the grand scheme of things they spent around $10k on her sports, brand new Apple products,

anything and everything she wanted, new top of the line cellphones yearly (starting at 11 when I had to wait until 14 and was only bought 1). I got nothing....

I paid for my braces, my phones, my school supplies. I had to use my birthday/Christmas money that I saved up every year.

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I was so proud of myself when I finally bought my first laptop but my sister was bought a better one the next week because she had a temper tantrum...

When I started at my last job I made a deal with my parents where I'd adopt and fully fund my youngest cat. She threw a fit and we adopted...

I took my two with me when I moved in with my now husband whereas my sister got bored and left he's behind for my parents to take care of....

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Resentment. Hell, I hated my sister and parents for it. And I'm still trying to move past it. If you cave in and give your youngest what she wants,

you are teach both of your children that you have blatant favouritism and are not afraid to show it. Your oldest will learn that she isn't worth a cent to...

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Your youngest will learn that mommy and daddy will always give her what she wants so they don't have to deal with her attitude.

She will get worse, she will become even more entitled than she already is. Do not get her that phone. Do not get her anything unless needed.

Her phone works well and if she wants a new one that's better than you will provide, she needs to save for it. Cell phones are not a necessity, they...

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Stop questioning your parenting, OP. The parenting style you two have is good. It's teaching them how to save for their wants vs depending on you solely.

Beginning-Dress-618 − NTA but also please don’t. I’m 2 years older than my brother. My parents gave out privileges as we got older and gave us later bedtimes as well.

It was so frustrating that I would have to wait until the established age or save up money just for him to get the same thing at the same time.

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Others lightened the mood with relatable quips about timeless teen tactics.

simping4reyna − NTA she has a phone and it works perfectly fine. Also her friends suck if they make her embarrassed over a f__king phone maker tell her to get...

strongopinion4life − NTA First, it would be unfair with the 16 yearold who always got a cheaper Phone and saved up to get that one.

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You would be showing her that her sister gets what she wants nor working for it while she has to, that your be favoritism.

If you give her an iPhone she will always throw a fir for anything her sisters have thats better then what she does, not a good leason.

You should tell her that her sister has an iPhone 15 because she worked and got the money her self to buy it. So its no unfair cause she could...

You should show all this to your husband and does he always favor the 13 year old? Cause he was quite quick to bend the rules for her and not...

In the end, the mother maintains a consistent rule that rewards effort over entitlement, despite pressure from her husband and younger daughter. While the teen feels unfairly treated in the short term, the approach aims to teach responsibility and avoid favoritism that could damage sibling relationships long-term.

What do you think—should parents ever bend rules to ease sibling jealousy, or is sticking to principles always better? Have you faced similar demands from kids over must-have gadgets? How did you handle the “everyone else has it” argument?

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