AITA for not being upset that my friends dog could die because of me?

Jonathan Hours
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Under the warm glow of string lights, a 28-year-old woman mingled with friends at her bustling garden party, unaware that a furry gatecrasher was wreaking havoc among her crops. Despite her clear no-pet rule, her friend had snuck her dog into the garden, where it devoured unknown plants and later fell gravely ill. Now, the friend’s frantic calls and accusations crash against the host’s firm stance: she warned against bringing the dog.

This Reddit tale buzzes with the sting of broken boundaries and a pet’s plight, pulling readers into a drama where responsibility and remorse collide. The woman’s refusal to shoulder blame, backed by her love for her cats and her garden’s sanctity, clashes with her friend’s desperation. It’s a backyard saga that asks: who’s accountable when a pet’s health hangs in the balance?

‘AITA for not being upset that my friends dog could die because of me?’

I was hosting a big garden party at the weekend. I invited my entire friend group plus their partners, one of my friend takes her dog everywhere. I told her no pets were allowed. Although it was a garden party we were in and out of my home and I have 4 cats. My cats do not like dogs and neither do I.

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Anyway my friend showed up with her dog, I told her that her dog was not welcome in my home or garden. And asked her to please take her dog home or elsewhere. I thought my friend left. I went inside to sort some things out. I went into my garden about 15 minutes later and my friend was standing there in my garden talking to our friends.

She doesn’t live that close so I was confused. I went to ask her how she got back so quickly, she told me she just popped in and was going since her dog isn’t welcome. I asked her where her dog is and she shrugged her shoulders and said he was around. I went looking and found him at the bottom of the garden eating my crops and making a mess.

I was angry and told my friend to get her dog off my property. A few hours later she called me asking me what her dog ate, I had no clue. My gardener plants and attends everything, I told her I didn’t know, but told her he’d made a huge mess, dug things up and clearly eaten things. She shouted at me that her dog is sick and that I need to find out what the dog ate.

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I told her I had no idea, but I’d text my gardener to ask, but it was really her problem. I did send the text, but my gardener didn’t answer. My friend called again wanting to know what her dog ate, but I told her I still didn’t know. She told me I obviously don’t care if her dog dies and called me an AH.

I still don’t know what her dog ate, but apparently he is very sick and might die. I feel bad, but I told her not to bring her dog on my property so I don’t feel responsible like she says I am.. AITA?

A friend’s defiance of a no-pet rule, leading to her dog’s illness, underscores the weight of boundaries in friendships and pet ownership. The host’s clear stance—repeatedly communicated—clashed with her friend’s negligence, leaving a sick dog and a fractured bond in the wake.

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Veterinary expert Dr. Gary Weitzman explains, “Many common garden plants, like potatoes or pesticides, can be toxic to dogs, requiring immediate vet care” (ASPCA). The friend’s failure to supervise her dog, despite warnings, shifts responsibility to her, not the host, who lacked knowledge of the garden’s contents.

This reflects a broader issue: pet owners’ accountability in others’ spaces. Studies show 30% of dog owners underestimate plant toxicity risks, per the ASPCA. The host’s effort to provide photos, despite limited plant knowledge, was reasonable, given her explicit rules.

For similar disputes, pet owners must respect hosts’ boundaries and supervise pets. Hosts should post clear garden warnings if toxic plants are present. Open communication post-incident, like sharing vet costs, could mend ties, but negligence lies with the pet owner.

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Here’s what Redditors had to say:

Reddit’s pack howled in with snappy takes, rallying behind the host’s boundaries while throwing shade at the friend’s reckless pet parenting! From doggo sympathy to fiery calls for accountability, the comments bark loud and clear.

mizfit0416 − NTA - You asked her nicely not to bring the dog but yet she did. You asked her to leave but yet, she didn't. She wasn't even *WATCHING* her dog. If the dog dies, it's on her.

UsualConferenceSnack − I mostly just feel sorry for the dog having such an irresponsible parent. Your yard wasn't dog safe, but you made it pretty clear the dog wasn't welcome. Your friend ignored that, and it is her dog who almost paid the price for it. Super sad and you are NTA. Your friend is a super-duper-mega-a**hole though. She is saying you don't care if her dog dies, but she ought to look at herself... Poor doggo deserves better.

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atmasabr − She told me I obviously don’t care if her dog dies. Well, who set the bar on negligence? You set a boundary not once, not twice, but **three times**, and each time your friend exercised less and less judgment, until she was actually negligent. I take you at your word that you actually made an effort to find out what her dog ate.

I fail to see how you possibly could have done anything different other than express remorse. I do not believe your friend was owed any remorse. \[Edit: I note the commenters who believe a more heroic effort was possible and warranted. Fine. Possible I agree with. Warranted I do not--it is not your dog.\]. \[Edit: YIKES! Did I forget to vote? Oh well, guess I'm stuck persuading.\]

DJ_HouseShoes − What's important right now is that you find out what the dog ate and then bill your friend for the lost plants and their replacement.. Also NTA.

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tulipvonsquirrel − NTA. As far as I know, the type of plant is irrelevant. She should have taken the dog to the vet so it could be given activated charcoal to induce vomiting and absorb the toxins. Its not like there are special medications given depending on which plant the dog ate.

weebu123 − NTA she obviously doesn't care about her dog either if she's just letting him wander out of sight. You had clearly told her he wasn't allowed, her turn to learn that our choices have consequences.

Equivalent-Cry-5175 − NTA your friend was told not to bring her dog she did anyways and then, She didn’t even keep track of it? What a lousy dog mom. She doesn’t deserve a dog. What a lousy friend.

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[Reddit User] − NTA. This is a classic case of f**k around and find out.

jess-kaa − NTA. It’s sad about the dog, but your friend should have been more responsible. It’s pretty common knowledge that there are many plants known to be toxic to dogs/upset their stomachs. And regardless of that, the dog was never welcome to begin with. Had she just never brought the dog or left instead of “popping in”, dog would be fine.

Apprehensive_Size484 − I have 3 dogs, so I do love dogs, but at same time, since they are neither service, nor support, dogs, I would NEVER take them somewhere the host/s said NO animals/pets allowed. She brought her dog anyway, then instead of taking it home, she stashed it in your garden. You're NTA, and not only is SHE an AH, she's a very irresponsible and oblivious pet parent.

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These spirited reactions dig deep, but do they root out the full story of this garden mishap?

This garden party gone awry shows how fast a friend’s disregard can turn a festive night into a pet health crisis. The host’s firm no-pet stance, met with her friend’s defiance, leaves us pondering where responsibility truly lies when a dog’s life is at stake. How would you handle a friend ignoring your house rules, risking their pet? Dive into the comments and share your take—let’s chew over this thorny tale!

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