AITA for never mentioning to my GF that my teeth are not real?

Picture a cozy dinner, laughter filling the air, until a casual remark about a root canal spirals into a full-blown relationship spat. For 38-year-old James, a lighthearted comment about his dental implants—installed years ago to end chronic tooth pain—landed like a bombshell on his girlfriend of three years. Her shock turned to anger, accusing him of hiding a major truth, as if he’d concealed a secret identity.

What seemed like a forgotten detail to James became a trust issue for his girlfriend, stirring debates among their friends. His Reddit post lays bare the question: does forgetting to mention dental implants make him the bad guy? As their story unfolds, it’s a quirky reminder that even the smallest omissions can spark big emotions in love.

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‘AITA for never mentioning to my GF that my teeth are not real?’

I 38m had problems with my teeth since I was a teenager, by the mid 20s I had done so many root canal treatments that my dentist recommended me that in the long run it would be cheaper and less painful to get permanent dental implants, as I had constant issues with my teeth!

I did it they removed all my real teeth including few that did not cause issue jet and I got implants.. Suddenly there was one constant annoying thing less in my life, that eventually I forgot about it.. 3 years ago I met my current girlfriend (34f) and we have been living together for a year.

Recently she had problem with one teeth and found out she need the root canal treatment and told me 'I wish I had such good teeth as you!' And I realized that she does not even know and jokingly told - 'Oh those are not mine, I got those in 2013!'

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Suddenly she was mad that I kept such a secret for all that time from her, that I was hiding the truth!. I tried to explain, that I am so used to it that I just don't think about it.. She think that I am an a**hole and that is a lie of omission.

Of course she got some of our friends included into that discussion and some agree that it does not even affect her, some thing that people should tell those things.,. AITA?

 

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James’s oversight in not mentioning his dental implants highlights how everyday details can become flashpoints in relationships. His girlfriend’s anger suggests she views the omission as a breach of trust, but James sees it as a non-issue, forgotten in his daily life. Relationship expert Dr. John Gottman notes, “Trust is built through small, consistent acts of openness” . James’s casual reveal, while honest, caught his girlfriend off guard, escalating a minor moment.

This situation reflects broader challenges in couple communication. A 2023 study in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships found that 55% of couples argue over perceived omissions, often tied to differing expectations of disclosure . James’s girlfriend may feel the implants carry stigma—health-related or aesthetic—while he views them as routine. Her involving friends suggests a need for external validation, which can strain trust further.

Psychologist Dr. Shirley Glass emphasizes, “Partners don’t need to share every detail, only those that impact the relationship” . James’s implants don’t affect his girlfriend directly, supporting his view that it wasn’t a deliberate secret. He should acknowledge her feelings but explain his perspective calmly. This tiff underscores that love thrives on mutual understanding, not a ledger of every past detail.

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Here’s how people reacted to the post:

The Reddit crowd sank their teeth into James’s story, serving up a mix of chuckles and sharp takes like a lively bar debate. Here’s what they tossed out:

Aelle29 − NTA, I'd get being surprised and all but mad? What is she even mad about? It's totally understandable that you just never mentioned it because you don't think about it, because WHO CARES, like???? She's an AH for making a drama out of this, not considering your pov, picking fights instead of communicating, and involving friends.. A non dramatic gf would laugh about it.

Banzai076 − NTA. Would it have made a difference in the relationship if she’d known then vs now? Everyone has different circumstances when it comes to dental hygiene. I mean hell, my jaws are fucked and no matter how much I brush and floss I still get cavities.

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My girlfriend knows what I want to do and supports me and loves me regardless of the status of my teeth. I actually think it’s really funny the way you said it “those aren’t mine” I would have been shocked and laughing pretty good honestly. I can understand the frustration as sure it seems like a big secret to her but not to you..

but it was such a long time ago, can understand not letting it be at the forefront. Do you have to take them out to clean like denture type or just clean with normal brushing? Genuinely curious!. TLDR: NTA, why does it matter to know then vs now?

Next_Brainpuzzle − NTA that is a really strange thing to get mad about. Can she explain why she thinks it is a lie? Did she specifically get together with you because of your teeth or what? I would also be concerned about the fact that she brought a bunch of friends into your 'fight'. Is that something you are ok with?

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Jessica_e_sage − INFO - is she mad bc it's a genetic thing that could be hereditary, d**g related and didn't know your history? I just feel liek there's gotta be more to it

BigBayesian − NTA. It would be dicey to hide the truth if it came up. Ex: 'I could never be with someone with dental implants. I'd be worried they were secretly reading my thoughts'. If she said that, it would be immoral to hide the truth from her (it may also be wise to leave her for other reasons).

But you didn't hide the truth. You never brought it up because you didn't see any reason to / relevance. I can't really see any beyond reproduction (I suppose your children could theoretically be at risk for your dental woes).

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Your life partner isn't automatically entitled to your life story. Certainly there are boring or painful parts many of us skip. Those omissions are not immoral unless they deny our partner important information they want to have. You haven't really done that here.

Puzzled_Medium7041 − NTA. It sounds like she is being judgmental because she considers it a negative, and therefore, it seems like something you 'hid'. Unless there were lots of relevant conversations before where you never mentioned it, it sounds like you just told her when it was relevant because it wasn't something interesting enough for you to bring up on your own.

Think about it. Why would this matter if not because she's judging you for it? And the friends that agree are probably ALSO judging it. They're considering it a 'negative' that you 'hid' about yourself.

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EducationalOutcome26 − NTA. same thing here, its hereditary in my family, my dad my brothers my nephews and nieces. we all had to have major bridgework or dentures/implants by the time we were 30 its just a thing that no amount of fillings flossings or cleanings was ever going to fix you dont even think about it.

when your 12 and at the dentist and hes talking problems already this is missing this is bad and so on . mom was like do they need braces? doc goes no eventually theyre going to need dentures... had major bridgework in college and finally dentures by 40 and now implants its just a thing you dont think about anymore , quite happily dont have think about anymore. so no,you are not an a**hole.

only person who ever noticed or at least said anything was a young lady i was having dinner with and she said wow your smile is so good i wish my teeth were like that, I replied for 8000 dollars they can be, and told her the story,she was terribly disappointed they weren't real.. they were plenty real enough for me and didnt hurt all the time.

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Odd-Delivery1697 − I've heard many women speak negatively about fake teeth. I've even heard a few say they'd break up with their boyfriend over it.. NTA, just realize your girlfriend may be a bit shallow

scherre − NTA. There's a difference between intentionally keeping a secret / committing a lie of omission and just simply never having thought to mention something because it never came up. It is a little surprising that after three years together you wouldn't have had a conversation about any major illnesses or operations/procedures you've both had but not so strange as to be unbelievable.

It is kind of odd though that she feels you must have intentionally obscured this information than believing you when you say you just never thought of it. Something as minor as this shouldn't shake her trust in you that much.

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Puzzleheaded-Ask-157 − NTA. So everything that you haven’t told her about your life is a lie by admission?. It’s not like you hadn’t told her about your wife and three kids. I guess ask her why your teeth upset her so much but I’ll be impressed if she’s got a good answer.

Redditors mostly sided with James, calling his girlfriend’s reaction overblown and her friend-involving antics dramatic. Some wondered if she’s judging the implants negatively, while others flagged the story’s oddity. Do these spicy opinions bite into the heart of the issue, or are they just chewing on drama? One thing’s clear: James’s tooth tale has tongues wagging.

James’s story is a quirky nudge that even mundane details can spark fiery rows when expectations clash. His forgotten dental implants, a non-issue to him, became a trust test for his girlfriend, showing how love can trip over the smallest gaps in communication. As he navigates this drama, it’s a chance to bridge understanding. Have you ever had a partner get upset over a detail you forgot to share? What would you do in James’s shoes? Drop your thoughts below!

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