AITA for making the Age of Empires 2 ‘new villager’ sound when my wife gave birth to our first child?

Childbirth is supposed to be one of life’s most profound, emotional highs—full of tears, relief, and pure joy after all the intensity. But for this couple, what should have been a magical first moment with their newborn got overshadowed by a split-second gamer joke that landed completely wrong.

The husband was there through every grueling hour, holding his wife’s hand and trying to stay strong. Yet in his nervousness as staff rushed in, he leaned on humor—and one Age of Empires 2 sound effect—that left his wife feeling like the spotlight shifted away from her and their baby at the worst possible time. Social media lit up with strong reactions, mostly calling out the timing while a few saw the funny side.

AITA for making the Age of Empires 2 'new villager' sound when my wife gave birth to our first child?

The exhausting journey began over a week ago when labor started unexpectedly.

Just over a week ago, my wife gave birth to our first child. I got called about it during work and rushed to the hospital to be with her during...

It was obviously a very stressful time, as it took more than 15 hours from start to the end, but finally our little one was born and was healthy.

He stayed by her side almost constantly, offering support through the pain.

I was in the room for nearly the entire time (other than briefly heading out for food, toilet etc), holding her hand and being the 'punching bag' as she swore...

Tension built as the delivery neared its climax.

As it was getting towards the end, just as the head was coming out (and it all happened very quickly from then), more medical staff came into the room

and I am someone who gets nervous around lots of people. I think because of that nervousness, I was talking a bit more, introducing myself to the new people coming...

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making jokes (saying I hope it's not a bad omen that the weather is so bad, because a thunderstorm had started outside that we could hear)

Then came the pivotal, unforgettable second.

and then when our baby finally came out fully, at that second, I made the Age Of Empires 2 'new villager' sound ("Shhhh hoooh") as a joke,

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but I think only my wife understood the reference (as the doctor and nurses gave no reaction) and the look she gave me could have sunk a thousand ships,

she looked so so angry, before then seeing our little one and finally smiling (but didn't look at me for about half an hour, and even then she was really...

The aftermath cast a shadow over their new family joy.

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Anyway, I thought it was a joke that went down badly in a moment of high anxiety, but my wife has twice in the past week told me that I...

I've apologised both times, but she has this look I've not seen before, something beyond disappointment.

It's really put a downer on the past nine days of what I thought would be our happiest time together, after what was obviously a very stressful time (for her...

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This story captures a classic clash between nervous coping mechanisms and the raw vulnerability of childbirth, where timing truly changes everything. The husband likely used chatter and humor to manage his own anxiety in an overwhelming setting—common for partners feeling somewhat sidelined during labor.

Yet from the wife’s view, after enduring hours of intense physical and emotional strain, she needed undivided seriousness and presence focused on her and the baby. Childbirth educator Penny Simkin emphasizes, “The birth partner’s role is to protect the birthing person’s space and help her feel safe and supported.”

Practical fixes start with genuine listening: let her fully express the hurt without defensiveness, validating how the moment felt trivialized. Step up massively on newborn care—night feeds, diapers, chores—to rebuild trust through actions.

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Couples therapy or postpartum support groups can help process lingering feelings, especially with hormones still settling. Above all, recognize that humor has its place later, once everyone’s recovered and can laugh together.

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

Most users sided firmly against the dad, highlighting how the joke undermined his wife’s monumental effort.

Prize_Diamond_7874 − Wow your whole post is just all about you and I am going to guess you are the main character in every story.

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Apparently your wife loves you enough to have a child with you but maybe it’s time to grow up and become a little more self aware- this was not the...

anbaric26 − YTA. Listen — as someone who gave birth recently, I 100% understand that she was NOT in the mood for your jokes after she just went through the...

and made awkward conversation with the hospital staff apparently. Perhaps some of this comes from her not feeling like you really did your job as her support person.

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Like you weren’t taking the birth seriously or appreciating what she was going through. I would have been pretty upset if my husband had been cracking jokes

and chatting instead of being laser focused on helping me and taking it very seriously. Maybe you felt like you *were* taking it seriously, maybe the jokes and chit-chat were...

But unfortunately that’s not how that behavior comes across. That’s not what is portrayed to others. And at the end of the day, labor and birth is about the delivering...

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It’s about their comfort, and making them feel supported and being what they need in that moment. It sounds like, sadly, you failed to do that for her.

And yes your wife is very disappointed as a result. Likely some trust or confidence in your ability to be there for her was broken.

*Birth is an extremely vulnerable moment for the birthing person, so mistakes in that moment have greater impact than they would otherwise.

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* The only advice I can give is try to double down on parenting duties and take it very seriously. Go out of your way to help her and don’t...

silverboognish − YTA. F__king Christ, dude, really? She was in labor for 15 HOURS and you chose to make a cutesy video game reference. I hope you’re better at actual...

RatchedAngle − YTA You need to know when to be serious. Don’t be the “Homer Simpson” dad that your wife has to put up with. Shape up and be a...

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Excessive, inappropriate silliness is a sign of immaturity. You felt anxious so you did something stupid that hurt your wife while trying to soothe yourself.

“Humor as a coping mechanism” isn’t an excuse and it’s not cute. You’re a husband and a father now and you need to learn how to calm yourself down in...

Take charge and handle s__t. Don’t make yourself the child in the situation while everyone else around you is being an adult. It’s shameful.

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Remarkable-Intern-41 − YTA you did ruin the moment. This is one of the most (if not the most) significant moment of both your lives, the birth of your first child.

You made it a joke. A moment that should have been about love, relief and joy is now forever seared into her mind as your bad joke. Plus, your excuses...

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Your wife has spent 15 hours of exhausting, stressful and agonizing labor for this moment. You. .. were there too.

If you can't bring yourself not to make a joke out of it, just keep your mouth shut. If you just accept that you said something stupid in the moment

and let your wife vent her justified frustration then in years to come this will be an excellent point of self depreciation to joke about when you need a 'what...

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A smaller group offered nuance, understanding the intent while still noting the poor timing.

midnightsrose77 − YTA. Dude. I get it. My husband loves AoE II. We both love Final Fantasy. We actually used the 8-bit Final Fantasy victory theme as the song when...

You went over the top here. Seriously. You were making one of the most stressful times about you with the chit-chat, introductions, and jokes.

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Then you make the new villager noise when the baby's born? That's way too much when she's exhausted from giving birth. If my husband and I were planning to go...

and he did this the moment our child came into the world, I'd be livid. My health, unfortunately, isn't going to permit this.

We're planning to foster or adopt when my health improves. If this happened during a court proceeding or a child was placed in our care? Absolutely furious.

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ThatsItImOverThis − YTA She was in near constant pain, this was one of the most pivotal moments in her, and supposedly your, life. She’s fully exposed, vulnerable and has a...

and your baby are going to be okay (that means stay alive). And you decided to make jokes? Introducing yourself unnecessarily?

Making noises from video games? Those doctors and nurses were thinking “Wow, this woman is going home with two kids, not one. ”

FatSadHappy − YTA Common, you don’t have any real words? Nice sincere happy words to your wife and a child?

piedpipershoodie − This is extremely hilarious AND she's entitled to set fifty cobra cars on you in retaliation. YTA. Jerk.

A few brought levity or alternative judgments to balance the discussion.

[Reddit User] − YTA yeah. Not intentionally of course. But your wife was physically and emotionally drained and hoping for a beautiful poignant moment. Not the time to make a...

HyenaStraight8737 − YTA. Gamer nerd. And have also pushed a child out. You just made the equivalent of your wife shooting a ping pong ball out of her vagina joke,...

It's not about AE2. It's about you reducing your wife to literally nothing but something that shot out a baby in that moment. If you cannot work out how bad...

then you can't fix that, only grovel. .. Oh man your going to have a f__king bad time until she can work out how to get over it. Or you.

plaidcakes − Did she say it was specifically just the new villager noise? Because I’m more horrified by you saying the “hope it’s not a bad omen” bit.

Hours into what is still a potentially deadly medical event isn’t really the time to be making a “sure hope things don’t go terribly wrong, teehee”-style joke, especially when she’s...

At a certain point, you were no longer a support system and became another source of emotional strain. She was focused on giving birth and needed you to be in...

but you were doing everything you could to distract yourself (and the doctors and nurses) from what was going on. It’s not exactly divorce worthy, but yeah, YTA. You were...

but she wasn’t just your wife at that moment. She was a patient. Imagine if she had been involved in an accident and you were cracking nervous jokes about her...

[Reddit User] − INFO: 1. Did the idea of making the sound pop into your head before the birth? 2. Do you have a history of doing things like this?...

KarlyPie − YTA. You had her entire pregnancy to get it together and figure out how to be a supportive partner in the delivery room without making stupid jokes. You...

JanetGM − NAH. I've given birth 3 times. Each time was a different experience. And let me tell you, nobody can prepare you for that moment when you see your...

I totally understand the feeling of your mind blanking and you just say the first thing that comes to mind. My first words after my first child was born? "Look!...

That said, she's not TA for being annoyed by it. I do think her reaction seems a little extreme, to still be mad about it over a week later, so...

Or maybe it's just feeling o__rwhelmed about new parenthood. Because that's real, too. Either way, it's a bummer that your reaction to birth was in direct conflict to her desires....

You're going to have to figure out a way to move on together, so I'd focus on figuring out how to do that, rather than rehashing something you can't change.

Ultimately, this highlights how even well-meaning attempts at lightening intense moments can backfire spectacularly, especially when one partner has carried the physical load. The dad’s nervousness is relatable, but the consensus leans toward understanding his wife’s lasting hurt over a sacred milestone feeling diminished. Years from now, it might become a funny family story—but for now, healing comes from empathy and extra effort. Would you have laughed or been upset in her shoes?

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