AITA for looking into divorce without trying to save the marriage I never wanted in the first place?

At 26, the idea of marriage should be a choice—a partnership built on love, respect, and mutual dreams. For many, however, tradition and family expectations can shackle them to a path they never truly wanted. In this story, our narrator details a life arranged by devout families, where the union was set up when she was too young to decide for herself.

Over the years, she’s been forced into a role of a stay-at-home wife and mother, with no room to pursue her own ambitions. Now, feeling trapped in a life that was never her own, she’s considering divorce without any effort to salvage a marriage she never wished for in the first place. But is she in the wrong for looking into an exit plan before trying to save something she never truly had?

‘AITA for looking into divorce without trying to save the marriage I never wanted in the first place?’

Family dynamics expert Dr. Emily Carmichael notes, “When an individual’s life choices are pre-determined by familial and cultural expectations, the sense of autonomy is deeply compromised. In these situations, the pursuit of divorce is often not an act of betrayal, but one of reclaiming personal identity and independence.”

For someone who has been thrust into a marriage from such a young age, the desire to explore alternatives isn’t just reasonable—it’s necessary for mental and emotional survival. Moreover, research in the field of coercive familial control highlights that prolonged exposure to restrictive environments can lead to a profound sense of entrapment and hopelessness.

Dr. Carmichael adds, “A person who has never had the opportunity to choose their path has every right to seek a way out when that path becomes unbearable.” In this context, the narrator’s exploration of divorce is less about a failure to save a marriage and more about an attempt to rescue herself from a life that has never been hers to begin with.

These are the responses from Reddit users:

The Reddit community has rallied around the narrator with a resounding message of support. Many commenters expressed that she is clearly NTA—she’s been forced into an arranged marriage from a young age and has lived a life imposed upon her by rigid, controlling forces. One user remarked, “You were never given the right to choose your own path. Looking into divorce isn’t betrayal—it’s self-preservation.”

Others emphasized that while the prospect of being alone is daunting, breaking free is essential for reclaiming her identity and building a life she desires. The overwhelming sentiment is that anyone trapped in a marriage built on coercion and control deserves the chance to pursue a different future, regardless of the fears associated with starting over.

Ultimately, this isn’t just about a marriage gone wrong—it’s about a lifetime of choices made for her rather than by her. The narrator’s decision to explore divorce stems from a deep-seated need to reclaim her autonomy and create a life that truly reflects her own values and dreams. While the road ahead might be fraught with uncertainty and loneliness, it’s important to remember that choosing oneself is never an act of selfishness.

We’d love to hear from you: Have you ever felt trapped by expectations that weren’t your own? What steps did you take to reclaim your identity? Share your thoughts and stories—your experiences might just inspire someone else to take that first brave step toward freedom.