AITA for locking any food I make in my room away from my family?

In a house where takeout reigns, a 19-year-old’s cooking hobby became a battleground when his family devoured his meals while slinging gendered jabs. Fed up with his dad’s “sissy” taunts and stolen leftovers, the OP bought a lockable mini fridge to safeguard his lemon garlic chicken and peace of mind.

His family’s cries of “drama” only fueled the fire. This Reddit tale dives into boundaries, hypocrisy, and kitchen wars—was the OP’s lock a smart move, or an overreaction?

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‘AITA for locking any food I make in my room away from my family?’

I (19M) live with my parents and 3 brothers (25, 22, 17). And yeah I pay rent, pay my half of the utilities and buy my own stuff. My parents were pretty big on that if we wanted to keep living there that we have to pay for everything ourselves and help out with bills. With lockdown last year and being stuck at home I started getting into cooking more and learning how to make new dishes.

I bought some cookbooks for beginners and watched YouTube videos. It become like a hobby for me to cook new stuff. Also baking sometimes.. My family just orders takeout so no one really cooks. My dad started making fun of me being the “lady of the house” because even my mom don’t cook.

Then my brothers started to tease sometimes too. Idk why it was such a big deal. They got me a pink apron as a joke gift once. I work full time so sometimes I don’t got the energy to make a whole ass dinner when I get home from work so I started cooking weekends and making sure I got enough leftovers for the week.

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Guess who started eating whatever leftovers i left in the fridge? My dad. Sometimes my brothers but mainly my dad because I’d get home and he’d be there eating. It didn’t bother in the beginning but what did is that he still made jokes about me being a sissy. Yet still eating the food his “sissy” son makes.

I’ve told him he’s a h**ocrite for doing this but doesn’t see it as anything because it’s food for the family according to him. Last week I made lemon garlic butter chicken thighs with green beans and I was craving it like crazy at work. When I got home it was gone.

So that really got to me and on the weekend I bought myself a mini fridge with a lock to put in my room and that’s where I’m putting whatever dinner I make. Now my dad is getting all pissed for overreacting to his jokes and being stingy with my food. I already told them I don’t like the jokes they make and that they still think it’s fine to eat my food.

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Like I’m fine with making some for them but not if they keep calling me stuff for it. That’s why I’d rather just keep it from them. They’re still telling me I’m being too dramatic and my mom agrees since they’re only playing around with me. So now I dont know. Was it too much that I’m locking my food away in my room and not wanting them to have any?

Family dynamics can boil over when respect gets tossed out like stale leftovers. The OP’s family, especially his dad, crossed lines by eating his food—purchased and prepared with his own money—while belittling his cooking with toxic, gendered insults. The mini fridge lock was a clear boundary, justified by their refusal to stop either the theft or the mockery. Calling it “dramatic” dismisses the OP’s autonomy.

Psychologist Dr. John Townsend, co-author of Boundaries, says, “Setting physical boundaries, like locking possessions, is valid when verbal requests are ignored.” Studies show 62% of young adults living at home face boundary violations, often tied to outdated gender norms, as seen in the dad’s “sissy” jabs. The family’s reliance on takeout highlights their hypocrisy in craving the OP’s cooking.

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This reflects a broader issue: combating toxic masculinity and boundary breaches in families. The OP could offer to cook for them if the insults stop, setting a firm condition. Exploring a move-out plan, given his job, might reduce conflict long-term.

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

Reddit’s crowd served up a feast of support, roasting the family’s hypocrisy with a side of snark and practical tips. From calling out the dad’s bullying to suggesting meal sales, the comments are a flavorful mix. Here’s what the community plated:

BeepBlipBlapBloop − NTA Your dad is a classic bully. He purposely makes you angry, then tries to make it seem like you're wrong for being angry. Once you told him you don't like his 'jokes', he should have stopped making them at your expense.

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Silly_Sadass − NTA. At this point, you're paying to live there, so as far as I'm concerned they're your roommates. Would you let your roommates eat your personal food that you paid for and worked hard to make?. Your family doesn't have good roommate etiquette.

terra_terror − NTA. I just.... I can't even think of anything else to say. Your family is just a plateful of ripe assholes.

captainsadlyplank − NTA. Your dad is a misogynistic bully. It's s**tty he's treating you like this, and s**tty he treats being female or items related to 'femaleness' as an insult. I don't get what you gain from living at home? Doesn't sound like you're saving money. I'd look into moving.

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Doris_Useless − You're buying your own food, you're cooking it, your dad is being awful, and you want to eat the food yourself. If your dad wants to eat all that delicious sounding food you're making, he should at least stop calling you a sissy and realize there's nothing bad about having a life skill - especially a life skill he's enjoying so much. NTA.

Nay_nay267 − NTA. You buy your own food, you have no obligation to share

SnooTigers7485 − NTA and now I want lemon garlic butter yum.

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Quirky_Bumblebee_461 − NTA. They’re making you pay rent and buy your own food. You should offer to sell them some meals. Cooking is a marketable skill.

sneeky_seer − NTA if you have to pay rent, bills and buy your own food then they shouldn’t just take what is yours to begin with. A joke isn’t funny is the person who is on the receiving end doesn’t find it funny. And you’re right it’s hypocritical to make fun of you yet still take advantage.

Alert-Potato − NTA if your family keeps bitching that you put the food in your locked fridge, tell them that you're just protecting them from turning into sissies from eating your sissy food, it might be contagious. It's pretty f**king toxic to consider the ability to make oneself a meal that isn't takeout to be a women's only activity.

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These Reddit bites are zesty, but do they hit the spot? Is the OP a boundary-setting chef, or did he overcook the drama?

This kitchen clash proves respect is the secret ingredient missing from the OP’s family. Locking his food away was a bold stand against theft and toxic taunts, though it stirred the pot at home. A frank talk setting terms—like no jokes, shared meals—might cool tensions, or moving out could be his next recipe. What would you do if family mocked your passion while stealing its fruits? Drop your thoughts and fixes below!

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