AITA for leaving an obese person my friend dumped on me at a concert?

Concerts are a place for fun, music, and excitement, but sometimes they come with unexpected challenges. In this story, a Reddit user found herself in a bind when her close friend asked her to look after an obese person they had just met at the event. What seemed like a small favor quickly turned into an awkward situation, with her concert experience slipping through her fingers. The tension rose as her patience began to wear thin, and she had to make a decision—stick with a stranger or enjoy the rest of her night.

While the dilemma might sound trivial at first, it brings up some deeper issues about boundaries, personal responsibility, and how we treat others based on their appearance. Should she have stuck around, or was it fair to leave?

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‘AITA for leaving an obese person my friend dumped on me at a concert?’

I went to a music festival with my close friend. She brought a few friends that I didn’t know, which was fine with me. One of them was severely obese. When we met up, she said her other friends wanted to see a band which I wasn’t interested in. So I said we can meet back here for lunch.

My close friend then asked the obese person to follow me. So it’s just me and her. She’s kind of lonely and sticky. So we went to my choice of band and had a great time. However when I wanted to go to the bathroom or buy drinks, she insisted on following. At first it was fine, but then I realised she walked REALLY slowly. She also spent a lot of time in the bathroom.

She asked me to wait for her and by the time she came out, my band was over. At the next band, I was a bit upset so I kept telling her to wait at the spot we were at near the stage while I get drinks, but she insisted on following. So 30mins later we finally got drinks. The set was half over. I brought her to the rest of her friends and told her to stay there and I enjoyed the rest of the evening by myself.. So, was I the AH?

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Sometimes, situations arise where we feel torn between helping others and maintaining our own personal boundaries. In this case, the OP was not prepared to babysit a stranger, especially when her friend had already abandoned the individual. It’s important to understand that while social expectations can be high, personal boundaries are just as significant.

Dr. Megan Warner, a licensed therapist, notes that “boundaries are crucial for our mental well-being. We must learn to say no, especially in situations where we did not agree to a commitment.” Here, OP didn’t sign up to care for this person and had every right to make her own choices about how to spend her day.

However, what stands out in the Reddit post is the way the OP describes the other person. Referring to her as “the obese person” repeatedly, instead of acknowledging her as a person first, is problematic. It can dehumanize someone and foster a sense of judgment or discomfort, rather than empathy.

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In terms of the broader issue, there’s a clear tension between respecting personal boundaries and being empathetic. Obesity, in particular, is often a point of contention in social settings, where stigmatization can make interactions uncomfortable. Being conscious of how we speak about others can shift the way we view them, and how we relate to them.

To improve these types of interactions, Dr. Warner suggests, “It’s crucial to maintain respect for others regardless of their size, appearance, or situation. Acknowledging their humanity first allows us to set more compassionate boundaries.”

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

Here are some hot takes from the Reddit community—candid and humorous:

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MagikMarvin − She probably followed you everywhere because she was expecting you to ditch her like your friend did.

SimpleTennis517 − That poor girl. She needs better friends and to be around better people

changelingcd − NTA, but your 'friend' deserves a f**king earful about pulling that stunt on you. You should have just left the stranger and done what you wanted.

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Infamous-Area6315 − I mean NTA for wanting to be by yourself but YTA for how you talk about this person.

Potential_Jacket3344 − Hey OP before I weigh in, was this person obese? Need more context.

Numerous-Lack6754 − NTA obviously you didn't sign up to be her baby sitter

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GGunner723 − Damn dude, try talking about her like she’s a person.

robofrogs −

TantrumQween − You’re not an AH for leaving someone who you didn’t plan to spend the day with. However, you may be an AH for how you generally view and speak about obese people. You made sure to mention that being important about 5 times.

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Destroyed_Dolly −

It’s clear from these comments that many see OP’s actions as understandable but are concerned about how the situation was handled.

The situation here presents a clash of personal responsibility and social norms, but it’s clear that communication could have played a big role in preventing it from escalating. What would you have done in OP’s shoes? Is it okay to prioritize your enjoyment over the comfort of a stranger? Or does this scenario reveal a deeper issue about how we treat people based on appearance?

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We’d love to hear your thoughts. Have you ever been in a similar situation, or do you think there was a better way to handle this? Drop your opinions below!

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