AITA for kicking my mom out of the delivery room?
In this post, the OP recounts a deeply emotional moment from her childbirth experience that still resonates after ten years. While enduring a 21-hour labor that eventually led to a lifesaving C-section, her mother repeatedly intruded with unwanted advice, criticism, and comparisons to her sister’s smooth delivery.
Overwhelmed and in pain, the OP reached a breaking point and asked the nurses to remove her mother from the delivery room. Now, her family continues to bring up that decision, and she wonders if she was wrong for insisting on a quiet, supportive space during such a traumatic time.
‘AITA for kicking my mom out of the delivery room?’
Dr. Emily Carter, a perinatal psychologist with over 15 years of experience, explains that childbirth is one of the most intense and vulnerable experiences a person can go through. “When a mother is in active labor, her focus and mental resources are entirely devoted to the birthing process and managing extreme pain,” she says. “Any intrusion—even if well-intentioned—can disrupt that delicate state, potentially increasing stress levels and affecting the overall experience.”
Dr. Carter further emphasizes that support during childbirth should be calming and respectful, focusing solely on the mother’s well-being. “A supportive presence is crucial, and that support should never include unsolicited advice or criticism,” she explains.
“In situations where a family member, like a mother in the delivery room, continually provides commentary that is not only unhelpful but also emotionally distressing, it can be detrimental to the birthing process.” She also notes that the decision to remove a support person from such a sensitive environment is not made lightly. “The choice to ask someone to leave a delivery room is a significant boundary-setting measure.
It reflects a clear need for an environment free of additional stressors so that the laboring person can focus entirely on the birth and their own health,” Dr. Carter adds. “While family members might later feel hurt or resentful, the primary responsibility during childbirth is to ensure that the birthing person is supported in the most conducive manner possible, even if that means setting firm boundaries.”
Dr. Carter concludes by stating, “It’s important for families to understand that the role of a support person during labor should be to provide calm reassurance and practical help—not to offer critique or compare experiences. When boundaries are crossed in such a vulnerable moment, taking action to protect one’s emotional and physical well-being is not only justified but necessary.”
These are the responses from Reddit users:
The Reddit community has largely rallied behind the OP’s decision. Many commenters applaud her for taking a stand when she needed calm and focused support, emphasizing that childbirth is not the time for unsolicited criticism. Users frequently point out that her mother’s behavior was far from supportive—it was intrusive and, in many ways, harmful.
Some even noted that if the mother had provided the nurturing, quiet environment that the OP needed, the decision to have her removed might never have arisen. The prevailing sentiment is that the OP’s actions were justified, and that her family’s continued reminders of that day are unfair and hurtful.
This incident raises important questions about the role of family during critical life events like childbirth. Is it acceptable for family members to impose their opinions during such vulnerable moments, or should the focus be solely on the well-being of the person in labor? How do you set boundaries when a loved one’s behavior becomes more harmful than supportive?
Have any of you experienced a similar conflict where setting firm limits was necessary for your well-being? Share your experiences and thoughts on how best to balance family involvement with the need for personal support during life’s most challenging times.
