AITA for insisting on going on the family vacation of my ex boyfriend?
You’ve shelled out thousands for your boyfriend’s family vacation, only to break up before the trip. That’s the tough spot a 34-year-old woman is in. She booked flights and accommodations for her ex’s family to attend a cousin’s wedding in Hawaii, but now she’s stuck with a huge bill and no repayment. When she asked for her money back, her ex’s mom went from polite to hostile, turning a simple request into a heated drama.
Things got messier when she suggested joining the trip she paid for, despite the family’s outrage. Is she stirring up trouble, or just claiming what’s hers? This tale of money, breakups, and family tension will leave you wondering where you’d stand. Let’s dive into her story and unpack what happened.

‘AITA for insisting on going on the family vacation of my ex boyfriend?’
it all started when she generously covered the costs for her ex-boyfriend’s family vacation:




after the breakup, an unexpected email from her ex’s mother sparked tension:



when she stood her ground on getting paid back, things got heated:


feeling dismissed, she floated a bold idea to salvage her investment:



her proposal sparked outrage from her ex, escalating the conflict:


This woman’s story is a messy mix of money and personal ties, especially tricky after a breakup. She fronted over $2,000 per person for her ex’s family to attend a wedding in Hawaii, expecting repayment. Now, with the relationship over, their refusal to pay promptly and their hostile response to her demands have left her in a tough spot. She’s right to want her money back—covering such a large sum without a clear repayment plan is a gamble, especially post-breakup.
The family’s side deserves a quick look. They might be tight on cash, and her insistence on immediate repayment could feel like pressure during a busy time. But their refusal to cover her share and their accusatory tone show a lack of respect. As psychologist Brad Klontz puts it, “Money often reflects trust and values in relationships” (Psychology Today, 2023). Their dismissal of her generosity suggests they’re taking her for granted.
Her idea to join the trip she funded is understandable—she’s trying to get something out of her investment. But showing up to a family event after a breakup, even skipping the wedding, could stir up more drama than it’s worth. It’s a gutsy move, but it risks making things messier.
Advice: She should give the family a firm one-week deadline to repay her, or she’ll cancel the bookings to recover her money. If she wants to enjoy Hawaii, she could keep her flight and book separate accommodations to avoid awkward run-ins. Moving forward, she should steer clear of lending money without written agreements, especially in personal relationships, to avoid this kind of headache.
Take a look at the comments from fellow users:
The social media crowd dove into the drama, with most cheering her on and others tossing in practical or funny takes. Here’s what they had to say:
many users backed her, saying she deserves to enjoy the vacation she paid for:




some pushed her to set firm boundaries, even suggesting she cancel the bookings:





others shared laughs or personal stories to lighten the mood:




a few pointed out the harsh reality of the family’s behavior:
![[Reddit User] - “NTA, but the only way you'll ever get your money back for their flights and accommodations is to cancel. They seem to think they're entitled to a...](https://en.aubtu.biz/wp-content/uploads/2025/10/wp-editor-1761383008573-1.webp)


finally, some urged her to keep things simple to avoid more drama:

![[Reddit User] - “If you hadn’t been dating their son, they would not have planned on going to a destination wedding that they could not afford. Cancel the accommodations, get...](https://en.aubtu.biz/wp-content/uploads/2025/10/wp-editor-1761382973788-2.webp)

This woman’s story is a wild ride through the tricky world of money, breakups, and family expectations. She’s got every right to demand her money back or enjoy the vacation she paid for, but her ex’s family seems to think they’re entitled to her generosity, which has fueled the conflict.
While most social media users are in her corner, some caution that joining the family trip could lead to more trouble than it’s worth. What’s your take? Should she cancel the bookings to get her money back, or head to Hawaii for a well-deserved getaway? Drop your thoughts below!
