AITA for hiring my wife as my secretary so we can spend more time together?

In a bustling office where phones hum and coffee brews, one business owner hatches a plan to rekindle his marriage. With his wife at home and their evenings reduced to bedtime chats, he hires her as his secretary, turning workdays into shared adventures. Their bond reignites, but a grumbling employee calls it nepotism, casting a shadow over their clever fix.

This tale, spiced with love and office politics, unfolds in a world where personal and professional lines blur. The couple’s joy clashes with workplace fairness, raising eyebrows and questions about favoritism. It’s a relatable snapshot of balancing heart and hustle, wrapped in a lighthearted dilemma that invites a chuckle and a nod.

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‘AITA for hiring my wife as my secretary so we can spend more time together?’

I own a rather large business and I'm the main I own a rather large business and I'm the main breadwinner in our house. My wife babysits her sister's kids for cash but is otherwise a stay at home... person; we don't have kids. I come home at 6 in the evening and we barely have time for each other anymore. We mostly talk while in bed before sleeping.. ​

I had a secretary that I got along really well with but she recently quit due to health issues. So it clicks in my head that I could hire my wife as my new secretary, that way we'd spend a lot more time together and she'd have an income at the same time. Win-win. I run it past her and she agrees.

The job basically consists of fetching documents, making calls, and brewing coffee, all of which she can easily do.. ​ She makes the same as the old secretary and less than nearly every other employee. Ever since, our relationship has improved, we spend a lot of time talking with each other and I feel like our marriage is alive again.

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We also had s** in the office which is a fantasy of mine but that's beside the point. So I thought everything was going great, but I hear from an employee that it's unfair my secretary is also my wife and that's basically nepotism.. ​

Which is true technically, the reason I hired my wife as the secretary was because of a family relationship. But she isn't in a position of power nor is she getting exclusive benefits or a higher paycheck so I don't really consider it nepotism.

I don't know why he's complaining, he makes double what she does and it's not like she's his manager now. I call him into my office and tell him if he has a problem with my wife being my secretary I'll gladly let him take her job, and he seemed to take the hint. Is this really nepotism?? 

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Running a business is tough, but so is keeping a marriage alive when work eats up your days. This owner’s decision to hire his wife as his secretary solved one problem—their fading connection—but stirred another: an employee’s cry of nepotism. She’s qualified, earns less than others, and holds no power, yet the label stings. It’s a classic case of love meeting office politics.

Nepotism, often a dirty word, isn’t always black-and-white. A 2022 Harvard Business Review article notes that family hires in small businesses can boost morale if transparent and fair. Here, the wife’s role—fetching documents, making calls—matches her skills, and her pay aligns with the previous secretary’s. The employee’s complaint, while valid, seems more about perception than reality.

Dr. Amy Edmondson, a leadership expert, says, “Transparency in hiring decisions builds trust in teams”. The owner’s defensive response to the employee’s concern—threatening a job swap—missed a chance to clarify his choice. Open dialogue could have eased tensions, showing the hire was about logistics, not favoritism. A quick chat about her qualifications might have nipped the issue in the bud.

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For the owner, keeping workplace fun—like their office escapades—discreet is key to avoiding further grumbles. Setting clear boundaries and fostering open communication can maintain harmony. This couple’s story shows that mixing love and work can spark joy, but it needs a dash of tact to keep the office humming smoothly.

See what others had to share with OP:

Reddit’s community chimed in with a mix of cheers and raised eyebrows. Many see the owner as practical, running his own business and hiring a qualified wife who earns her keep without special perks. It’s his company, they argue, and as long as she’s competent, the nepotism label feels like a stretch.

Others point out potential pitfalls—office romances, even marital ones, can make colleagues uneasy. Some worry the wife’s presence might intimidate employees, who may hesitate to critique her work or request tasks, fearing the boss’s reaction. Reddit’s take leans toward approval but cautions against blurring professional lines too much.

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widespreadhammock − NTA - you can technically call it nepotism but that negative connotation doesn't really make sense here since you are the owner of that business. If she can do the job right and you didn't fire anyone to get her that job, what is wrong with it?

It's not a government position where the tax-payer is covering her salary, this isn't a public corp in which the shareholders are the owners of the business. I don't see why anyone should have any issues with this given that she is not incompetent and making other people's jobs more difficult.

egmono − NTA. Keep having s** at work with your secretary.

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katobabee − NTA. Plenty of self-owned businesses employ family members as well as other people. You aren’t showing her any amount of favoritism nor treating her any better than the other employees.

Kufat − NTA. It's nepotism. It's also your business. YWBTA if you were a middle manager at MegaCorp and pulled strings to get an incompetent family member hired, because you'd be in breach of your duty to the company.

This is different because you're the sole shareholder (AFAICT) and the company exists for the benefit of its shareholder(s), so... (Just make sure you don't bother other employees with your extracurricular activities in the office. YWBTA if you did, as well as the defendant in a lawsuit.)

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[Reddit User] − He might have been complaining because it's awkward to ask your boss's wife to do things you would expect of a secretary.

patheticparenthetic − NTA for hiring your wife. My husband and I worked together for a year and it was awesome to be able to spend that much time together. It's your business, it's your prerogative to hire who you want. As long as she's able to fulfill the requirements of the job, I see no reason why you shouldn't enjoy a long and happy career together..

BUT. The way you handled your employee's complaints was less than ideal, IMO. You don't actually want to be a boss whose decisions can't be questioned by his employees. What if your wife starts sucking at her job or turns into a nightmare coworker?

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You don't want to create an environment where her coworkers are afraid to ask her to do things, or to push back on unprofessional behavior from her, because they're risking getting called into your office for a scolding.

IMO it was good for your employee to bring up his concerns because it shows he's willing to say things even if they're uncomfortable or could have negative repercussions. That's a *praiseworthy* characteristic in an employee and you should value it.

The better way to handle that would have been to say, 'Hey, Bob, thanks for your concern about Jane. I'm comfortable with my decision to hire her because I believe she's qualified to do the job, and she's not getting any extras because of her relationship with me.

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Is there a perception that she's getting special treatment? Do you have any issues with how Jane is getting her work done?' And then *listen to the guy who's willing to talk to the boss about s**t 99% of people wouldn't want to talk to the boss about, man!*

Maybe she takes 10 extra minutes for lunch and it's NBD to you but the other people in the office are getting nickel-and-dimed for every second on their time cards. Maybe she screws up a print job every week and rolls her eyes when people call her out on it.

*Maybe not,* but if she does, don't you want to know about it? Use Brave Truth-Teller Bob there to your advantage! Edit: if Bob isn't a brave truth-teller, just a pouty little d**khead, this conversation is still good because it will stop him from bitching behind your back. Win-win.

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wildferalfun − NTA - BUT your wife is being treated differently than your other employees. If your other employees were screwing each other in the office on the company dime, you'd fire them. So probably consider that before you swing your 'I treat her like an employee' stick around the office. Because you don't. Unless you have had s** with everyone else, which is pretty awkward.

[Reddit User] − INFO: Was she qualified to hold the position? In other words, would you have hired her based on her qualifications if she weren’t your wife?

Jackoffalltrades89 − I’m about 98% sure NTA, but two things to clarify. One, is she your personal secretary or is she the company’s secretary? Because those are two very different roles in terms of how she is supposed to interact with the other employees and visitors.

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If she’s your personal secretary, you’re fine, if not, still probably fine but things like her actually being good at her job and being treated as just another employee will certainly help. Which takes us to question 2. Are you keeping the office s** to outside office hours?

I get it, it’s a fantasy and you get to enjoy the whole schtick with your wife instead of cheating on her, so it’s a win-win all around. But if you’re going at it during normal business hours, one, the other employees are having to deal with it in varying degrees, two

it sends the wrong message to the rest of the employees regarding both allowable workplace behavior and why you hired her, and three, it’s using company resources (yours and her working hours) for personal use, same as if you were playing video games at your desk.

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So in summary, so long as she’s doing her job and you keep the schtupping to after business hours, and bonus points if she’s just your secretary and not the secretary for the whole company, you’re in the clear.

Slight edit. Reread your post and you were a bit of an ass to the guy who brought it up, but your point was basically valid. Just saying, politically speaking, you didn’t do yourself a whole lot of favors with the job swapping threat.

Fubai97b − If I was one of your employees, YTA and I'm updating my resume. Yes, that is absolutely nepotism. If it's a 'rather large business' I'm amazed your HR didn't tell you this is a bad idea. Her not having power is less of a concern than you being her direct supervisor.

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I'm guessing they're all thinking a few things that may or may not be true.. 1. Your wife wouldn't have even gotten an interview if you weren't married. 2. She's going to get away with a bunch of stuff no one else will (unscheduled time off, extra sick days, s** in the office.)

3. She will be your eyes and ears meaning I have one more person I have to watch myself around and I need her to like me so she doesn't badmouth me to you. 4. No matter how crappy a job she does she will never, ever, be fired and that will impact the company as a whole. That means if she screws up I'm covering for her.

This story, like a well-timed office coffee break, blends charm with a hint of chaos. The owner’s move to hire his wife revived their marriage but stirred workplace whispers. It’s a reminder that love and work can mix with care and clarity. Have you seen family hires spark drama or success? Share your stories—let’s dive into this brew of heart and hustle.

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