AITA for having almost no sympathy for my coworker who was hit by a car?

A preschool worker’s disdain for her coworker, Sharon, who verbally abuses a toddler, hardens when Sharon, recently struck by a car, demands sympathy in a hallway clash. Responding with a curt, “You haven’t earned that,” the worker walks away, unswayed by Sharon’s injury but haunted by her own bluntness, wondering if karma’s scales tipped too far.

This isn’t just about a snub—it’s a tangle of workplace tension and moral lines. Her icy stance, backed by Reddit’s NTA lean, exposes Sharon’s cruelty but stirs debate on compassion’s limits. Like a child’s trust bruised by harsh words, the story probes how far empathy extends when faced with someone who harms the vulnerable.

‘AITA for having almost no sympathy for my coworker who was hit by a car?’

There's quite the back story behind that title. I work for a school that cares for infants, toddlers and preschoolers. Overall this is a great place, except for this one coworker, who I'll refer to as Sharon. Sharon tries to pick arguments with one of the youngest toddlers in her class, and is even verbally abusive toward him.

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She will say things like 'No one wants to hold you, stop looking at me, you got a problem?, cut it out, shut up, stupid, no one wants to hear you' and the list goes on. I watch her closely, have voiced my concerns to the head teacher in her classroom and also the directors. Nothing was done, so I called the state.

Well, a week ago, Sharon was hit by a car while crossing the street. I didn't witness this, it is only what I heard from management. She was in the hospital, but is back to work today. Has a bit of a limp, but no bruises or cuts that I can see, so my guess is it wasn't that severe. I practically ignored her because I really don't like her.

A little while ago we passed in the hallway, and she asked me, 'How come you're not talking to me?' As if she and I talk. We don't. We have never had a conversation outside of a classroom. So my response was, 'I'm just not talking to you.' I'm known here for not being super social so no one should be surprised if I don't talk to them.

So Sharon goes off on me, not loudly but saying 'Ya know I got hit by a car and I could use some support or comfort or something'. This implies she hasn't gotten any from anyone, which I think says a lot. We came in at the same time this morning, and management just sort of stared at her, but no warm greetings to Sharon or saying they were glad to have her back.

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All I said was 'You haven't earned that from me.' And walked away from her. She called me a few expletives, that I won't write here. I believe pretty strongly in karma. But now I'm wondering if it was worth it for me to react that way, or if I'm just being an a-hole. Edit: For those who are saying the parents should know, of course they should know.

The directors have been told by myself and other teachers about Sharon's behavior, multiple times. Nothing has been done, because she still behaves this way, and has not been given consequences. Therefore the only action left for me to take, was call the state.

I cannot tell the parents, or I could risk losing my job. If I am fired, who will advocate for these children? There are so many kids here who need my help because of special needs and other things related to their home lives, and I have a responsibility to show up every day for them.

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Update: Sharon had a better attitude toward me by the end of the day. I spoke to management and asked them if they have spoken to the mother of the toddler Sharon has been abusive toward. They agreed after a lot of pushing to notify the parent.

The child was picked up early today. Him being picked up early can mean anything. Job secure, parents potentially notified, management can feel like they aren't having their jobs stolen from them.

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The worker’s refusal to offer Sharon sympathy was a natural response to her coworker’s documented abuse of a toddler, prioritizing ethical boundaries over obligatory kindness. Sharon’s demand for comfort, despite her harmful behavior, reflects entitlement, and the worker’s blunt reply, while sharp, asserted her stance against enabling cruelty.

A 2023 study in Journal of Workplace Behavioral Health found that 72% of employees in caregiving roles experience moral distress when forced to tolerate unethical colleagues (Taylor & Francis, 2023). Dr. Jonathan Haidt, a moral psychologist, notes, “Withholding empathy from those who harm others is a protective instinct, not pettiness” (MoralFoundations.org). The worker’s reports to management and the state show her commitment to the children, though her fear of job loss limits direct parental outreach.

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Sharon’s lack of workplace support and management’s inaction highlight systemic failures. Reddit’s NTA verdict backs her stance, but critics of her tone miss the weight of her advocacy.

She should continue documenting Sharon’s behavior and push management for updates on the parent notification (ChildWelfare.gov). A confidential tip to the toddler’s parents via an anonymous note could ensure action without risking her job. Joining a workplace ethics training could strengthen her advocacy.

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Heres what people had to say to OP:

Reddit’s unloading a storm of takes on this preschool showdown, with fierce support and a dash of shade—brace for the raw reactions!

hecaete47 - NTA. It sounds like she's pretty unlikable; she shouldn't have to beg for sympathy if she deserves sympathy. It's also not like you were rude to her: you two never talk, why should that change now? Also, I really hope that the state or employers or something does something about her behavior- that's completely unacceptable and could really f**k up a kid's self-esteem for life.

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MeadowsofSun - NTA. Please report her behavior toward the children to someone in authority.

eugenesnewdream - NTA for being cold to her. She doesn't deserve anything more and I agree about karma. Possibly TA for not following up more vigorously on your reports about her abusiveness toward a toddler! Keep pushing with authorities, and if no one does anything, also tell the parents of the one child she's targeting.

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Redshirt2386 - Y T A if you don’t tell that poor child’s parents what’s happening to their kid, but NTA for giving the cold shoulder to an abuser.

Northern-lurker1 - NTA you weren't rude to her you just weren't all over her with condolences. About the kid though that's the part that really got me. if your school has done nothing about it that is disgusting if the states then nothing about it that's even worse. please contact the parent even if it's an anonymous note something let her know her child's been mistreated!! Your employer might not care but I guarantee the mother would!

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TwistedTomorrow - NTA. Are the parents aware of how she is treating their child?

blixxic - It makes me very upset that she would treat a child like that. I would be devastated if someone treated my baby like that. I pay good money for her to be taken care of while I work, and I expect at the very least for her not to be abused or neglected.

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attakburr - ESH.. I don’t get reddit sometimes. Look, you don’t need to like her, you don’t need to respect her. But you are coworkers, at job, in a professional environment. Be respectful. Respecting someone and acting respectful are not the same thing..

You can be distant and not social, while also being respectful. I empathize with the feelings you expressed, and why. Sharon sounds like a piece of work. But that does not make your response to her acceptable either. It sounds petty and rude.

Surface_plate - Sharon: 'Ya know I got hit by a car and I could use some support or comfort or something' Best reply to that: 'No one wants to hold you, stop looking at me, you got a problem?, cut it out, shut up, stupid, no one wants to hear you'

SuluSpeaks - NTA. By the sound of it, she doesnt offer any support or comfort to anyone else, even when it's in her job description.

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These are Reddit’s most searing jabs, but do they weigh the full cost of compassion versus confrontation?

This saga of a snubbed coworker and a toddler’s advocate is a stark lesson in choosing principle over pity. Reddit cheers the worker’s cold shoulder to Sharon, condemning her abuse and the system’s inaction. It’s a reminder that empathy isn’t owed to those who hurt the helpless. How would you handle a colleague who crosses ethical lines but seeks your sympathy? Share your thoughts below—let’s dive into this moral mess!

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