AITA for going home when my sister didn’t put her dogs away?

Tiana Garrett Hours
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What happens when a long-awaited family visit with a newborn turns tense over a single request? Excitement for bonding can quickly fade into frustration and unresolved conflict.

This father drove hours to his sister’s home for her to meet his three-month-old daughter. Asking her to briefly contain her three dogs for safety met strong resistance, leading him to leave right away and face a wave of angry messages.

‘AITA for going home when my sister didn’t put her dogs away?’

The father provides context about his sister’s lifestyle with dogs and previous experiences.

My wife and I had our first child 3 months ago. My sister lives 2 hours away and has seen my daughter once. The wife, kid, and I made plans...

I thought this would be a good opportunity for my sister to visit with my daughter and we'd go out to eat somewhere. My sister has 3 dogs who are...

They are allowed on the couch, in the kitchen, everywhere. I've visited her and not sat on the couch because I don't want dog hair on me. We've had family...

Everything had to be dog friendly or centric and I did not enjoy that trip. I've passed on future vacations. There was no point in trying to talk her out...

He recounts the moment of arrival and the escalating disagreement.

When we arrived I knock, hear the barking, and tell my wife to hold off bringing my daughter inside until I know the dogs are in another room. Sister opens...

I ask do you mind putting the dogs in another room. She pauses, goes absolutely not, and looks baffled i'd even request that. I told her that i'm not ready...

It's only for about an hour then we are going to lunch. After a bit of back and forth it's obvious she won't put the dogs away. I just say,...

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I help my wife put my daughter in the car and start to leave. The whole time my sister is flipping out, saying WTF, she says she didn't even get...

So after 5 minutes at my sisters house we drove the 2 hours back home. I had 2 dozen texts and phone calls from her that I didn't acknowledge. So...

Additional clarification comes in the edit regarding motivations and boundaries.

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Edit: A few things. The reason we drove to visit my sister is because she expressed us wanting to come out. She suggested I come to her place. I thought...

Its not like we were staying for days on end, it was a day trip. I don't want my kid around dogs right now, when she is older and after...

The dogs behave fine, but to my knowledge they have never been around babies/children.. My wife was not happy, but she supports the no dogs around our baby rule.. I'd...

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The dispute highlights clashing values between pet ownership and infant protection. Parents demanded temporary changes in a private home for perceived risks. The host prioritized her dogs’ freedom and routine.

Both perspectives carry weight. New parents exercise caution with unpredictable animal behavior around babies. Pet owners resent imposed restrictions in their space. Unclear prior discussion left little room for negotiation.

Parenting educator Dr. Laura Markham has written that “Setting limits with empathy strengthens family ties” (Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids, 2012). Open pre-visit talks about needs prevent surprises.

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Arrange future meetings in neutral spots. State boundaries early and firmly. Offer alternatives like outdoor lunches. Gradually introduce pets as the child matures under supervision.

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

The thread showed divided opinions, with many faulting the father for poor planning while others defended newborn safety.

A significant portion criticized the sudden departure and lack of advance notice.

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ConstaLobo − YTA. Why would you go to your sister's house if you don't like dogs? Of course the dogs have the run of the place. It is THEIR place,...

But also, why did you go home instead of out to lunch? Sure, your sister could have been more accomodating, but she didn't HAVE to.And now you're ignoring her, after...

Creepy_Addict − YTA You for not asking beforehand if she'd mind putting the dogs up while you visit. Instead of visiting at her house, why not go out to eat...

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GravediggersDaughter − “My sister has 3 dogs who are her world and have free reign at her place, much to my chagrin. ” It’s sounds as though your sister considers...

She clearly loves them & treats them well. She wants them to be comfortable in their home. That’s THEIR BUSINESS & THEIR HOME. You are absolutely allowed to not like...

But you DON’T get to dictate what someone does IN THEIR HOME. You knew how things were at your sister’s home before you got in your car & drove the...

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I’m genuinely baffled how you don’t see that YOU’RE in the wrong here. I’m curious-have any of these dogs ever bitten or lunged at you or anyone else? Are they...

Or is this strictly because you don’t seem to care for dogs (which again, is totally ok). P. S. -If it’s not already obvious, yes YTA. You get to do...

Violet_Summer691 − YTA. You know about the dogs. You could have communicated your request before showing up. Or you could have just requested that she come to you to see...

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Or you could have just said you would prefer to go straight to lunch if she wasn’t going to put the dogs away. There were other options and you jumped...

Several users, including dog owners, supported the caution around a newborn.

steelgeek2 − NTA My life is similar to your sisters but I would never have my dogs around a small baby, and i've been a dog trainer for 14 years.

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My dogs don't have experience with small children and you can only trust a dog to be a dog.Mine are kennel trained if a plumber or family member or whatever...

annswertwin − NTA I have two dogs that are my world, I’ll put them away when someone who doesn’t like dogs comes over.

[Reddit User] − NTA. And all these opposite votes confuse me. I wouldn’t want 3 dogs jumping all over being crazy around my new baby. It’s not a lot to...

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TheDudeof1999 − NTA why couldnt she just put her dogs in the room for what? Like an hour? Wtf is wrong with you people calling her ta, ITS A NEWBORN,...

Some suggested compromise or mixed blame.

rstrin − Info: did you warn your sister in advance that you didn’t want her dogs in the same room with your baby?

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When it was clear that she wasn’t ok with putting them away did you talk about going elsewhere instead of hanging out at her house or did you just leave...

You said that you were only planning to be there a short time so you could have gone somewhere else. I’m not a dog person and wouldn’t want my baby...

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but it is your sister’s home and you knew how she does things before you went. So if you didn’t communicate or try to compromise then YTA

82_noway − When people puts their children above everything/ everyone, they are entitled. When they do the same with their dogs, they are right. I’ll never get that.It’s common sense...

You don’t know how they react. The sister should have used logic if she wanted to see her niece, even at her own home.I’ll go for ESH because OP could...

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Family visits with newborns demand extra care, especially involving pets. Clear expectations upfront save time and prevent blowups. Protecting a baby remains paramount, yet respecting house rules fosters harmony. Finding middle ground keeps relationships intact.

Would you turn back from a family visit over pet concerns? How far in advance do you discuss boundaries with relatives?

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