AITA for getting married on Halloween?

A goth couple’s dream of a Halloween courthouse wedding hits a snag when the bride’s best friend demands they pick another date. Claiming she and her boyfriend plan to wed on Halloween to honor their dating anniversary, the friend threatens to skip the event and forgo her maid of honor role. Stunned by the ultimatum, the bride stands firm, prioritizing her vision with her fiancé over her friend’s claim to the day.

This isn’t just about a date—it’s a clash of loyalty, dreams, and boundaries. Her resolve is fierce, but is it fair? Readers are hooked: should she keep her Halloween plans, or consider her friend’s feelings? The wedding drama demands a verdict.

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‘AITA for getting married on Halloween?’

This bride shared her wedding date dilemma on Reddit, detailing her friend’s objection and her own determination. Here’s her original post, unpacking the tense standoff.

My partner and I are both into the goth scene and have long talked about getting married on Halloween. We were discussing a timeline (we are engaged) and I talked a little bit about it with my best friend.

She told me she doesn’t want me to get married on Halloween because she got together with her boyfriend on Halloween and they want to get married on Halloween to keep the same date, so she doesn’t want us to share an anniversary. She also told me she “wouldn’t be able” to make the wedding if I do get married on Halloween.

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We plan to have a courthouse wedding but maybe have a big wedding party on a 5 or 10 year anniversary, and she would have been my pick for maid of honor, and she knows that. Am I an a**hole for thinking that was out of line to say and for wanting a Halloween wedding anyway?

Weddings are deeply personal, and this couple’s Halloween vision reflects their shared identity. The friend’s demand to reserve the date for her own hypothetical future wedding—tied to her dating anniversary—is an overreach, especially since she’s not engaged. Her threat to skip the wedding escalates the issue, prioritizing her feelings over the couple’s milestone. The bride’s choice to proceed is a defense of her autonomy.

This mirrors tensions over shared milestones. A 2023 study in Journal of Social and Personal Relationships found that friends’ attempts to control others’ life events, like wedding dates, often stem from perceived ownership over shared experiences, straining bonds. Halloween, a popular wedding date, isn’t exclusive; thousands marry then annually.

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Relationship expert Dr. John Gottman says, “Friendships thrive on mutual support; dictating a friend’s choices signals control, not care”. His insight validates the bride’s stance, though a gentle talk might clarify the friend’s insecurity. The friend’s refusal to attend suggests a deeper rift worth addressing post-wedding.

The bride should proceed with her plans, inviting the friend without yielding. The friend needs to reflect on her entitlement.

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

Reddit dove into this wedding spat with takes as spirited as a Halloween bash. Here’s a roundup of their thoughts, sprinkled with humor—because even friend feuds need a chuckle.

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Tsui_the_Melon − A wedding is about what you guys want. So have the wedding YOU want, not what your friend wants.

mugrita − Not the a**hole here. You might want to consider this “friendship.” You’re not the first people to have a Halloween wedding. Is your friend mad at every couple before you that did a Halloween wedding? There’s only 365 days in a year and people have been getting married for centuries. Chances are that her wedding anniversary is going to be someone else’s anniversary too.

If she’s so petty that she wouldn’t come to your wedding and celebrate your love because she thinks she has some ownership over a single day, don’t bother convincing her to come. She’s shown you who she is. I’ll bet this isn’t the first time she’s done stuff like this to you either.. Anyway, congrats on your engagement! Have the goth Halloween wedding of your dreams!

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rcpotatosoup − NTA. you (hopefully) only get one wedding, make the best of it. if my best friend shared a wedding anniversary with me that would be f**king awesome.

auner01 − Not the a**hole, because my wife and I did that ten years ago.. had a church wedding, took the family kids trick-or-treating, and had a Halloween party instead of a wedding reception.. so bobbing for apples instead of the chicken dance, and a pinata instead of a garter toss.

svecer − NTA. What if 1, 2, 10 years from now you are no longer friends? It's your wedding, your business. They don't want to come, some 'friends' you got there. Do they not think that thousands if not more people get married every day? Get married, enjoy your life, drop un supportive people from your life.

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cannabis96793 − NTA, it's like a birthday that you get to pick, with the amount of ppl on the planet it's bound to be on the same day as someone else. go for it that's the day I got married on.

vicariousgluten − OFFS not the a**hole. We went to a Halloween wedding a few years ago and it was great. The evening party was zombie themed and the kids there went trick or treating around the tables. Great fun.

We share our anniversary with friends. We didn't get married the same year but we share the date. Generally you only celebrate your anniversary with your other half so how exactly is it going to affect them?

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cowsarehotterthanyou − Not the a**hole. Also, her and her boyfriend want to get married that day? Not her fiancé? Absolutely not. Same as if someone wants a name for their unborn child but you’re pregnant and they’re not. Their chance won’t ever come and yours is already here so do what you want OP

Mouseprintss − Hell no!!! Your wedding has nothing to do with others. It should solely be for you and your SO; if you want a Halloween wedding then people in your life should support that happily!

evilnerf − Not the a**hole. Those are all things adults have to get used to.

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These Reddit quips are lively, but do they carve the truth? Was the bride’s Halloween plan a rightful choice, or should she rethink for friendship’s sake?

This bride’s Halloween wedding clash is a vivid tale of love, loyalty, and standing firm. Her resolve to marry on her chosen day, despite her friend’s dramatic objection, is cheered by Reddit as a celebration of her and her fiancé’s vision. As the friend threatens absence, one question looms: can their bond survive? What would you do when a friend tries to control your big day? Share your stories and weigh in on this spirited drama!

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