AITA for getting husband’s ex 30 day ban on Facebook?

In this post, a 42-year-old wife explains how she got her husband’s ex-girlfriend temporarily banned on Facebook for 30 days after receiving an aggressive message from her. The ex, who had a history of making racist and threatening remarks, messaged the OP using offensive language and demanding that she “keep her name outta [her] mouth.”

The OP, who isn’t even friends with the ex on Facebook, reported the harassment without engaging, resulting in the ex receiving a 30-day ban. Now, she’s wondering if she’s in the wrong for taking that action, especially as mutual friends are now buzzing about it.

‘AITA for getting husband’s ex 30 day ban on Facebook?’

Cyberpsychologist Dr. Anita Kumar explains that when it comes to online harassment, individuals have the right to protect their digital space and mental well-being. “Social media platforms like Facebook have strict community guidelines in place specifically to address and prevent abuse, hate speech, and threats. When someone violates these guidelines—especially through racist language and explicit threats—it is not only acceptable but necessary to report such behavior,” she says.

Dr. Kumar emphasizes that reporting harassment is a proactive measure that helps maintain a safe online environment. “By taking action, you are not overreacting; you are holding the harasser accountable for their words and actions. This sends a clear message that such behavior is unacceptable, and it helps deter similar conduct in the future,” she explains.

In this case, the OP received a disturbing message from her husband’s ex, which was not only offensive but also intended to intimidate. The decision to report was a rational step in response to an action that clearly violated Facebook’s policies. Furthermore, Dr. Kumar notes that the consequences imposed by social media platforms—such as temporary bans—are an important part of enforcing accountability.

“A 30-day ban is significant because it acts as a cooling-off period, giving the individual time to reflect on their behavior while protecting potential targets from further abuse. It is a clear signal that the community will not tolerate hate or harassment,” she adds. She also stresses that individuals do not need to engage with harassers to resolve these issues; often, ignoring and then reporting is the best way to maintain one’s own peace of mind.

Ultimately, Dr. Kumar concludes, “Taking a stand against online harassment is crucial, not only for personal safety but also for promoting a healthier digital environment. When you report abusive behavior, you are exercising your right to a respectful online experience and contributing to a broader culture of accountability.” This perspective supports the OP’s decision as a justified and necessary action in response to the unacceptable behavior she encountered.

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

Reddit users have overwhelmingly supported the OP’s decision. Many commenters point out that if someone is using slurs and threats on social media, they deserve to face consequences like a ban. Multiple users argue that the ex had likely been reported by others before, and her behavior was clearly in violation of community standards.

Several remarks emphasize that the OP did nothing wrong—she simply protected herself and her peace of mind. Some humorous responses suggested that the ex’s actions “got herself banned,” reinforcing that accountability for hateful behavior should be enforced without hesitation.

This incident raises important questions about how we handle online harassment and where personal responsibility lies when it comes to maintaining respectful digital interactions. Is it acceptable to report someone for offensive language without trying to engage further? Have you ever faced similar situations on social media, and how did you deal with them?

We invite you to share your experiences and thoughts on the best ways to enforce healthy online boundaries. How do you balance protecting your digital space while ensuring that actions taken are proportionate? Let’s discuss ways to hold harassers accountable without overstepping personal limits.