AITA for getting angry at my sil after I found that she’s been asking my wife for DNA test?

In the quiet glow of a nursery, where the scent of baby powder should signal peace, a new mother sat in tears, her heart weighed down by an unexpected betrayal. Just two weeks after giving birth, she faced not only the emotional turbulence of postpartum life but also a stinging accusation from her sister-in-law (SIL). The demand for a DNA test to prove her newborn son’s paternity, rooted in baseless suspicions about her religious background, shattered her sense of security.

Her husband, still navigating the joys and chaos of fatherhood, stumbled upon her distress and learned the truth. His immediate response was to shield his wife, confronting his SIL with fierce loyalty. This story weaves a tale of trust tested, family boundaries crossed, and a couple’s resolve to protect their newborn joy, pulling readers into a drama that feels all too real.

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‘AITA for getting angry at my sil after I found that she’s been asking my wife for dNA test?’

My wife gave birth to our baby boy just 2 weeks ago, since then she's been suffering from mood swings and gets angry quite easily, I thought it was post partum so I tried to convince my wife to seek help from a professional to which she refused and she kept refusing so I just gave up instead of forcing her.

I started providing as much emotional and physical support as I could but I didn't know that my wife was struggling because my sil was asking my wife for dna test. My wife told me the truth when I found her crying in our bedroom, when I told her that she can trust me and she absolutely needs to tell me what she's been thinking otherwise I won't be able to help her.

She told me that my sil has been asking her to do dna test to prove that the my baby is really mine and she owes us and when she refused to do that she kept questioning whether the baby is truly mine or not.

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My wife is religious, she wouldn't even show her face to another man and having s** with another man is out of question, I asked her why did she not tell me the truth, she said she didn't want me to doubt her, I told her that I would never doubt her and dna test etc is unnecessary.

i went to my sil and asked her why did she harrass my wife and said that she insulted my wife by asking for dna test, she said she was just looking out for me and she thought my wife is trapping me because she's from different religion.

I said that she had no right to harass my wife and speak on my behalf and I don't want dna test and she should not be worried about it, I told her that she should stay away from both of us for now cause my wife just gave birth to my son and we need to focus on my wife's health and our son.

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But now my sil and my brother keeps calling me and texting me that I'm being kinda unfair to her and she was trying to help me in a way and I'm inexperienced and many men never find out that their childrens aren't really theirs but someone else's.

I know that my son is mine and so is my wife and I trust her and I can bet my balls that my wife would never betray me but I don't know how to explain it to my sil and my brother cause they don't even want to listen to me, am I the ah guy?

The OP’s dropped an update on the saga—curious? Click here to check it out!

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Family disputes laced with accusations of infidelity can wound deeply, especially during the fragile postpartum period. The husband’s situation highlights a clash between unwavering trust and unfounded suspicion, intensified by cultural differences. His wife’s silence, born of fear that her husband might doubt her, reflects a natural response to such a personal attack, particularly when postpartum mood swings—impacting up to 20% of new mothers heighten emotional vulnerability.

The SIL’s demand for a DNA test appears less about concern for her brother and more about her own biases against the wife’s religious practices. Dr. Jane Greer, a noted marriage and family therapist, observes, “Acusationsc without evidence often stem from the accuser’s insecurities or prejudices” This suggests the SIL’s actions may reflect her discomfort with the couple’s interfaith marriage rather than any real doubt about paternity.

The husband’s confrontation, while protective, escalated family tensions, creating a rift with his SIL and brother. Setting boundaries was a healthy step, but maintaining some dialogue could prevent long-term estrangement. Dr. Greer advises, “Clear boundaries paired with calm communication can preserve family ties while protecting personal space.” The couple might benefit from addressing the issue directly with the SIL and brother, seeking an apology to rebuild trust.

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Moving forward, prioritizing the wife’s mental health is key. Therapy or support groups could ease her postpartum challenges, while limited contact with the SIL might reduce stress. A united front, grounded in mutual trust, will help the couple navigate this storm, reinforcing their bond as new parents.

Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

The Reddit community rallied behind the husband, their responses brimming with empathy and indignation. Many praised his loyalty, viewing his confrontation as a justified defense of his wife’s honor. Others pointed out the SIL’s overreach, suggesting her accusations might stem from personal insecurities or cultural biases, with some humorously proposing the SIL’s obsession with DNA tests could reflect her own doubts about her family.

The collective sentiment leaned heavily toward supporting the couple’s decision to set boundaries. Commenters emphasized that the SIL’s actions were intrusive and disrespectful, especially given the wife’s vulnerable postpartum state. The community’s verdict was clear: the husband’s priority should be his wife and newborn, with family drama taking a backseat to their well-being.

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Tipsy-boo − NTA If you want to silence them the quickest then tell them that you’ve booked to have their children dna tested as well- those that shout loudest on these topics are sometimes projecting.

mrsmaddox10 − Ask your brother did they do a DNA test for all their children if not why is his wife ask your wife to do something she didn't do herself. Seem like the sil is projecting.

sb0212 − Your sil and brother sound like nut jobs. If you truly have no doubts, ignore them and live your life. Some people like to cause drama.  Are you Muslim? Does your wife wear niqab? You know amongst Muslims it’s BIG DEAL— they’re accusing her of cheating, calling your child illegitimate and passing the illegitimate child as yours.

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They’re questioning her character and chastity. This is a big deal. If this happened to me I would get the paternity test done and throw it in their faces and go nc. Husband can decide what he wants to do with the nut job family.

daylily61 − NO, you are definitely NOT out of line.  THEY are, your brother and his busybody wife. Your wife believes the baby is yours.  You believe the baby is yours, and neither of you has any reason to believe otherwise.  That's all that your brother and Ms. Busybody have any right to know.  

Anything else is none of their business, period, end of sentence. Put your foot down here.  Tell your brother and his wife thar your son is YOUR son, and they owe you and especially your wife an abject apology. 

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Tell them it better be a sincere apology, not this 'I'm-sorry you-were- upset, I-was-only trying-to-help' crap, and until they do that, INCLUDING ACKNOWLEDGING THAT THEY HAD NO RIGHT TO STICK THEIR NOSES IN (and behind your back, even) you have nothing more to say to either one of them.

And keep your word.  If they think this is only a bluff, you can bet they will invade your privacy again. By the way, your and your wife's particular religions have nothing to do with this.  I've been a Christian for more than forty years, but the advice I've given you here is exactly the same I'd have given to anyone else, regardless of religion.  

Mother_Search3350 − Tell her that you will file harassment charges if she doesn't f**k off and leave your wife alone.. Just because she fucked around on your brother doesn't mean everyone else is like her. . Cultural definition of brother and cousins be damned

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She needs to wind her neck in and tell her husband why she  has such an obsession with infidelity if she hasn't been f**king around . Your cousin /brother needs to do DNA tests on her children . NTAH 

Nonby_Gremlin − NTA. Your wife and son come first. I’m so sad that your wife thought you might believe your family and doubt her- while freshly post partum! I’d just block your family and focus on supporting her. What your SIL and brother are doing is SO out of line. They hurt your wife while at her most vulnerable. Unforgivable!

kmbct2 − NTA- tell your brother that sil seems to be projecting because you trust your wife 120%. It’s such a random reasoning too.

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Curious_Opposite_917 − Tell your SIL and her husband to f**k off and mind their own business.

Bitter-Fishing-Butt − if you are 100% sure that baby is yours, then bollocks to them both - it's a Them problem if you think that having the DNA test that shows the baby is yours would make your wife's situation/life easier,

then do the DNA test for HER benefit it might give her peace of mind to be able to show the results when they come after her again and if you DO get the DNA test, have it printed on to a cake and throw it at them

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but also make it VERY clear to them that when that test comes back showing the baby is yours, this relationship does not go back to how it was - they have broken your trust and your wife's trust, and repairing that is not going to be easy or quick or even possible

admiraldurate − Nta.. You are the good guy here.. Standing up for your wife to your brother is true husband material. Keep it up.

This tale of loyalty and confrontation leaves us cheering for a couple standing strong amid family turmoil. The husband’s fierce defense of his wife was a testament to their bond, though the rift with his SIL and brother lingers like a stubborn shadow. Healing will require time, perhaps an apology, and firm boundaries. Have you ever faced family interference in your personal life? Share your experiences—let’s dive into this drama together!

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