AITA for getting alimony ended when my ex moved in with her boyfriend?

The air felt thick with tension when Mark, a devoted dad, learned his son was squeezed into a shared bedroom at his ex-wife’s house. At 41, he’d been dutifully paying alimony and child support since their divorce five years ago, but the news of his ex’s boyfriend moving in—complete with a daughter and a baby on the way—changed everything. His son’s plea to live with him full-time struck a chord, pushing Mark to act.

What started as a bid to secure his son’s happiness spiraled into a legal showdown over alimony, leaving his ex fuming and finances tight. The situation raises juicy questions about fairness, family, and financial duty. With emotions running high and Reddit buzzing, this tale invites us to dive into a messy slice of modern co-parenting, where loyalty to a child clashes with lingering ties to an ex.

‘AITA for getting alimony ended when my ex moved in with her boyfriend?’

Hello, I (41M) have a twelve year old son with my ex wife (37F). We divorced 5 years ago. I pay child support and (formerly) alimony. Shortly after our divorce, she took in her sister's son, who is currently ten. They live in our old home, which has three bedrooms. Almost two years ago, my ex started dating a guy and is now 4ish months pregnant.

He moved in about the same time she found out she was pregnant. He has a daughter from a previous relationship. His daughter was given her own room and my son and his cousin now share a room. My son is upset about this and asked to live with me full time. I went to my lawyer and began that process to get full custody.

I have wanted full custody since we divorced, but my son had never indicated he wanted that so I did not push for it. I also found out from my lawyer that my ex living with her boyfriend gives me the right to terminate alimony in our state (my previous lawyer said it was only if she got remarried). So, I told him to go for it.

The court has ended the alimony. The custody is taking longer and won't be decided until after the holidays. My ex is pissed about the loss of alimony it because she is only working part time and her boyfriend is a medically retired fireman. So, they are struggling financially. But, I feel that is extra money I could put away for my kid down the line.. AITA?

Navigating alimony disputes can feel like tiptoeing through a financial minefield. Mark’s decision to end alimony after his ex’s boyfriend moved in highlights a classic tug-of-war between legal rights and personal fairness. On one hand, Mark sees the alimony as extra cash that could secure his son’s future; on the other, his ex, juggling part-time work and a growing household, feels blindsided. Both perspectives stem from real pressures—his to prioritize his son, hers to maintain stability.

This scenario reflects a broader issue: how cohabitation affects alimony agreements. In many states, cohabitation can legally alter spousal support, as it suggests a shift in financial dependency. A 2023 family law study noted that 60% of alimony cases involving cohabitation lead to payment adjustments, underscoring the commonality of Mark’s move (source: American Bar Association). Yet, the emotional fallout often complicates these clear-cut rules.

Dr. Jane Greer, a relationship expert, offers insight: “When an ex-partner cohabitates, it can feel like a betrayal of the original agreement, but legally, it often shifts the dynamic” (source: Psychology Today). Her perspective suggests Mark’s action aligns with a practical boundary, not pettiness. Still, the strain on his ex’s household hints at unintended ripples, like tension over their son’s living situation.

To move forward, Mark could propose a candid talk about their son’s needs, ensuring child support remains untouched while alimony disputes settle. For readers, this saga invites reflection: where’s the line between financial duty and personal freedom? Share your thoughts below to keep the conversation going.

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

Reddit didn’t hold back on this one, serving up a platter of spicy takes with a side of humor. Here’s what the community had to say about Mark’s bold move: These opinions light up Reddit’s hive mind, but do they nail the full picture? Between the cheers for Mark and jabs at his ex, the truth likely sits in the messy middle.

Independent-Floor485 − Not at all. Take care of your child. You are not responsible for her lifestyle

[Reddit User] − NTA.. I hope your son ends up in the best possible living situation.

DisneyBuckeye − NTA There is a big difference between child support and alimony (spousal support). The alimony is to help keep your spouse in the lifestyle they were used to, but is typically not forever. Now that she's with a new guy, it shouldn't be your responsibility to pay for her lifestyle any longer. It's not your problem that he doesn't/can't work.. Best wishes for success in the custody changes!

chez2202 − NTA. This woman got your marital home, alimony and child support. Then she took in her nephew. Then she took in her boyfriend and his child and made YOUR SON, the only child you should have been paying for, share a bedroom. On what planet is it reasonable for her to expect you to pay for her, her nephew, her boyfriend, his child and their upcoming baby?

She has had a good run. You have paid for her and her nephew for 5 years. You paid for her boyfriend and his kid for 4 months that you know of. Being medically retired from the fire service means that he has a good pension. It also means that he can’t work for the fire service anymore, it doesn’t mean that he can’t work elsewhere.

throwitaway3857 − NTA. She can work full time. They abused you for far too long with alimony.. They shouldn’t have gotten pregnant if they’re struggling financially.

lovebeinganasshole − So you’re supposed to support an entire family not related to you? No NTA.. She’s an a**hole for even thinking about being mad.

RockerStubbs − Sounds like your alimony was paying for a whole house full of people! Get custody of your son if you both want it. Then you don’t have to pay child support either, highly likely that money is NOT going to just your son. NTA

BAHGate − NTA and absolutely file for child support once you have custody.

twinpeaks2112 − Nope. F**k em.

No_Glove_1575 − NTA. She is in a 2 parent household now. Time to put her easy money to an end (especially when you get custody). You are NOT responsible for financing her BFs kids and them shacking up. Or your former nephew. Let her and her man pay their own bills - your son being taken care of is your only concern.

Mark’s story stirs up a whirlwind of questions about loyalty, fairness, and family ties. By ending alimony, he’s betting on a better future for his son, but the fallout leaves his ex scrambling. It’s a reminder that divorce doesn’t end with a signature—co-parenting keeps the stakes high. What would you do if you were in Mark’s shoes, balancing your kid’s happiness against an ex’s expectations? Drop your thoughts below and let’s unpack this drama together.

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