AITA for finding my friend’s behavior uncomfortable?

Joining a new friend circle can feel exciting, especially when most people make you feel instantly welcome. But for one 22-year-old guy, what started as a comfortable new social scene quickly turned awkward because of the intense physical closeness between two women in the group. He noticed that one friend, who he calls B, is extremely attached to another, A—the charismatic center of the circle.

B constantly hugs, touches, or even lies on top of A, often ignoring everyone else in the room. When he privately told A it made him uncomfortable and suggested she set boundaries, she laughed it off, told him to “close my eyes,” and eventually snapped at him to shut up. Now he’s wondering if he overstepped.

‘AITA for finding my friend’s behavior uncomfortable?’

The poster quickly settled into a welcoming new friend group after knowing just one person initially.

I (22M) started hanging out with a new friend circle. At first I knew only one person in the group, but most of them are very friendly and it was...

What started bothering him was the unusually close behavior of one friend, B, toward the group’s most outgoing member, A.

However, I recently started feeling uncomfortable with the behavior of one of my friends, who ill call B (20? F). B is probably the one I've talked to the least,...

This is not the part that bothers me: it bothers me how she acts around A. A (21F) is very extroverted and is the person that made me feel the...

It sometimes feels like the entire friend circle revolves around her, which is fair because she gets along with literally everyone. Now to the problem: B is very attached to...

If they are both in the same room, 9 out of 10 times B will be right beside A. If A is for example laying on the couch, when B...

and sometimes just lay on top of her. No matter what the context is, she's always hugging or touching A in some way, and it's not even subtle.

The constant physical contact felt awkward to him, especially since no one else in the group acted that way.

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Obviously I don't have anything against them being close, but I think A is just obliging B for the sake of peace. B doesn't act like this with anyone else...

Also, my other friends are more respectful of personal space so often A and B are the only two who are close together when we are all hanging out, and...

Finally, one day I was talking with A (my other friends were around, but doing something else in the same room) when B just interrupts our conversation to hug A.

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A just laughed and continued talking but I found B's behavior very rude. Since im not as close to B, I decided to speak to A about the situation. A...

I told her that she should speak with B and establish some boundaries. She just kinda shrugged and changed topics, but I insisted saying that B's behavior was uncomfortable to...

I specifically mentioned the incident of the other night. To my surprise she just laughed, and said if it really bothered me I should just "close my eyes".

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I warned her that if she kept letting B act like this people could get wrong ideas. Finally, she told me to keep to myself, and pretty rudely told me...

I was only expressing how uncomfortable I was and I don't know why A was defensive since B is the one in the wrong here. Maybe I should have talked...

Later edits clarified misunderstandings and showed he was reflecting on his approach.

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EDIT: many people here seem to believe A and B are dating, maybe I made it sound that way. If it's any relevant, they are not. If they were I...

EDIT2: it seems people seem to believe I have romantic feelings towards A. I would have said so if I did, but I don't.

EDIT3: I guess by this point it's relevant to clarify that I agree that I approached the issue in a very bad way, and that ill apologize to A as...

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The core issue here is a clash between one person’s discomfort with observed physical affection and the clear consent of the two friends involved. What makes the situation more complicated is that the poster is relatively new to the group, while A and B likely share a longer history with established dynamics he doesn’t fully understand. His insistence—continuing after A changed the topic and laughed it off—shifted the interaction from concern to overstepping.

A’s eventual sharp response was a direct boundary enforcement, signaling that she was perfectly fine with B’s behavior. Broader social norms support the idea that consensual physical closeness between adults, even if intense, remains their private arrangement unless it harms others.

The poster’s warning about “wrong ideas” hinted at discomfort with perceived intimacy, which many interpreted as rooted in bias against same-sex closeness, though he later denied romantic jealousy or explicit prejudice. Ultimately, this highlights how personal comfort levels with affection vary widely, and inserting oneself into others’ consensual relationships rarely ends well—especially when the involved parties are content.

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Here’s what Redditors had to say:

Many users sided firmly against the poster, stressing that the situation was none of his business and that A’s comfort mattered most.

Enamoure − YTA. This is where you should mind your business lol. Everyone has different boundaries. If A is okay with it, why do you care so much?

This has nothing to do with you. It is between B and A. You are the one stressing over it. They are fine lol

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usernamesarehard723 − YTA. They’re both okay with the situation and I’m really unsure as to why you’re so bothered by it? Are you jealous perhaps? Is it some kind of...

Bling_Blawww98 − YTA. It bothered you that B hugged A and how c__ngy they are to each other? I wish i had a friend that i could be c__ngy with.

it is THEIR RELATIONSHIP with THEIR BOUNDARIES. If you just think B is being rude and needs better mannerisms then go tell her that to her face.

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tessherelurkingnow − Imagine joining a friend group of people who have known each other for a long time and then starting to establish boundaries for other people's behaviour after three...

Your behaviour is creepy and overreaching. A has changed the topic, laughed and told you to close your eyes. She's obviously fine with this.

You don't need to know why that's the case, but you're overstepping boundaries with the way you keep pushing this.

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Ze_Stips − YTA If A and B are both happy with this behaviour it's none of your business. Stop trying control how other people act around each other. If it...

A smaller group acknowledged the poster’s feelings but pointed out he mishandled the situation by pushing instead of dropping it.

RevRagnarok − YTA - A and B have been interacting with each other for longer than you've been in the picture. You don't know what history you missed,

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and you gave your input to your friend, which is important. At this point it would've been 100% N-A-H. But then you kept going and pushing (edit on a re-read:...

Which put you into A-H territory. Maybe they are FWB. Maybe B walked in when A was about to commit suicide and literally saved her life. _You don't know and...

SteveGoral − I'm not sure why it even bothers you, they aren't affecting you at all. Plus, there could be a dynamic you're missing, it certainly seems way. Stay in...

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elseeyay − I warned her that if she kept letting B act like this people could get wrong ideas INFO: And what exactly would be the wrong idea? Edit: The...

I'm not exactly sure what I meant at the time. OP - Even if we do give you the benefit of the doubt as to not being a blatant homophobe...

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you really need to think about your reaction to that small snippet of conversation you had. It would seem you have some unconscious bias going on there. As for the...

Few commenters added lighter takes to diffuse the tension around the debate.

Few_Grapefruit8513 − A told you to mind your own business right? Then f-cking do that. If you tell B, you will be the AH. As long as A has no...

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I was in the exact same situation in HS - i was B of our friend group, and as the B, kindly and respectfully you can f__k right off :)

TinyMedic13 − You’re - without any shadow of a doubt - TA! A few things: Op, you are utterly atrocious at reading social cues. This is not debatable, and I...

Around half a dozen times in the comments I’ve seen from you here, you repeatedly show deficits in theory of mind and similar domains. You inappropriately generalize your feelings to...

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Just to be clear: they almost certainly don’t share your discomfort - discomfort which is abnormal. They will find your obsession with relationships not your own alienating, intrusive, and inappropriate.

You are spending a really, truly unhealthy amount of cognitive load on your new friends hug schedules. You need a neuropsych eval, with an emphasis on communication disorders and ASD.

You need therapy and social skills training. People are giving you quite direct cues (in the context of most societies), but unless it’s laid out for you in simple, unambiguous...

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As others have gone over in detail, you missed a myriad of these cues and that’s a large contributing factor to you being TA here. You were the one who...

but eventually you were given an extremely appropriate and more direct response. (Not direct enough for you to internalize the info apparently: genuinely, even though it’s not her job, what...

None of this an excuse for your deep rooted homophobia, which you also absolutely need to do work on. Queers (and straight folks alike) can sit and lick each other’s...

you’d still get absolutely no say! You could leave the situation or deal. You don’t get to control other folks bodies.

You trying to say that you’d want them to police you, is both laughable - since you internalize none of their input when it’s given - and indicative of more...

healthy, assured people - seemingly like A - do what A did in this case, and they hold their own reasonable boundaries - even if that causes discomfort in others.

I am going to assume that you’ve missed a few things in deciding to lead with “just tell me if mis-socialed”: that requires others to constantly be responsible for your...

given your reactions I don’t think you’d respond well to that correction IRL, this is peak ASD (and admittedly might work better in long established relationships with other ND folks),

and unfortunately social cues that direct aren’t typically considered socially appropriate - you, in this post alone, call out any such direct behavior as “rude”.

The concept is flawed, the execution is worse. You need to address why seemingly any kind of physical affection - in spite of it being consensual and quite normal -...

This would be fine on the street: it doesn’t need to be relegated to behind closed doors. That’s an utterly absurd mandate from you, OP.

You think hugs are inappropriate for public consumption (and not even really public, since it sounds like you’re hanging out in a closed group). Adult s__ education might be beneficial...

Certainly this response is both severe and abnormal enough to warrant parsing with a clinician or other therapeutic structure.

It seems like the fact that not all interpersonal relationships are uniform in their depth and expression makes you insecure and uncomfortable: why? This easily could be an ASD thing.

It could be a self esteem and feeling of security issue. It could be jealousy. It could be a lot of things: you need to do that work to unpack...

In the end, the overwhelming consensus labeled the new friend the asshole for inserting himself into a consensual dynamic between two adults who were clearly comfortable with each other. His concern, while perhaps coming from a place of unease, crossed into controlling territory when he persisted despite clear signals to drop it.

Stories like this remind us how differently people experience physical affection in friendships. What feels overly intense to one person might be completely normal and comforting to others. Have you ever felt uncomfortable watching close friends interact—did you speak up or let it go? Where do you draw the line between genuine concern and minding your own business in a friend group?

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