AITA for expecting my girlfriend to reimburse me for an item her mother lost?

A man on a family caravan getaway hands his custom NHS orthotics to his girlfriend for safekeeping in her mother’s pram, only to discover them missing the next morning. What begins as a simple solution to foot pain quickly spirals into frustration when the insoles vanish, leaving him facing the cost of expensive replacements. The situation highlights how trust in a partner’s advice can backfire amid shifting blame.

What makes the story more complicated is the girlfriend’s refusal to accept responsibility, insisting she never forced the decision despite suggesting the pram as a secure spot. Her family piles on, questioning his care for the items since he didn’t check sooner. This leads to an emotional blowup, regrets, and a standoff over reimbursement, revealing deeper tensions in accountability and communication during what should have been a relaxing trip.

‘AITA for expecting my girlfriend to reimburse me for an item her mother lost?’

The getaway turns painful when custom orthotics cause discomfort after hours of use.

I have recently gotten some custom fit orthotics on the NHS to hopefully relieve some of the pain I get in my ankles and feet due to me being flat...

I can only bare them for a couple of hours a day at the moment as I am still getting used to them. I am currently on a getaway with...

Last night after we had been out for a couple of hours my feet started to really hurt, so my gf told me to remove the insoles from my shoes...

Trust in the suggestion leads to the items disappearing overnight in the pram.

This morning I asked my girlfriend is she could get them out of the pram for me and they wasn’t there, we looked all over the apartment and they wasn’t...

and now I will have to pay for another and they are quite expensive. Instead of understanding why I’m annoyed my girlfriend just said “I didn’t tell you to put...

Blame shifts back and forth, escalating into regrets and demands for accountability.

I then reminded her that actually she put them in the pram which I allowed her to do because I trusted they would be safe there since she said they...

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she then responded to this saying “yes but you still made the choice to let me put them in the pram, you didn’t have to take my advice”. Her family...

At this put I felt really confused and distorted and I lost my cool and blew up at my girlfriend, which i later regretted. I felt manipulated and felt like...

In the She said that she would pay for them even though she shouldn’t have to because she didn’t lose them to which I responded agreeing, saying that her mum...

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Relationships thrive on mutual accountability, but this caravan mishap exposes how quickly trust erodes when blame dominates over solutions. The poster followed his girlfriend’s explicit suggestion to store valuable medical insoles in the pram for safety, yet faces gaslighting when they vanish—her denying the advice and insisting he alone chose the risk. This deflection not only dismisses his pain and financial burden but highlights a pattern where one partner avoids ownership, turning an accident into a battleground.

Opposing views frame it as shared misfortune or the poster’s ultimate responsibility for his property, arguing no one forced the pram idea and accidents happen without malice. Yet these ignore the context: the girlfriend positioned the pram as reliable storage during his vulnerability from foot pain, creating reasonable reliance. Her family’s input—that delayed checking shows lack of care—further isolates him, amplifying feelings of manipulation. Broader socially, this reflects common dynamics in couples where advice-givers evade consequences, eroding partnership equity; it underscores how minor incidents reveal character, like fear of confronting family, which stifles fair resolution.

As relationship therapist Esther Perel notes in her book Mating in Captivity, “Trust is built in very small moments,” emphasizing that dodging responsibility in everyday crises chips away at intimacy. Here, reimbursement isn’t just about money—it’s restitution for breached trust, urging couples to prioritize empathy over defensiveness to prevent resentment from festering.

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Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

Many users rally behind the poster, insisting reimbursement is fair given the girlfriend’s role in the loss.

OGBrewSwayne − so my gf told me to remove the insoles from my shoes and she will give them to her mum to keep safe in the pram G/F and...

Either your g/f never put them in the pram or her mom somehow managed to lose them. Either way, this isn't on you. my girlfriend just said “I didn’t tell...

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I then reminded her that actually she put them in the pram which I allowed her to do because I trusted they would be safe there since she said they...

G/F is dodging accountability here. You are 100% right to expect to be reimbursed for the cost of you inserts. You also might want to consider finding a new g/f....

Scenarioing − NTA. Two steps to take here in the following order. .. 1) Get paid in cash or, if paid by other methods, play nice until the payment can't...

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2) Break up instantly thereafter. People who can't take any responsibility and gaslight you are not suitable partners. , but you need to get paid first.

makesnosense42 − Gf is the AH for literally gaslighting you after neither of them kept them precious shoes safe She said she didn't tell you to put the shoes in...

Some commenters offer nuance, acknowledging accidents while suggesting split costs or self-reliance.

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Ok_Expression7723 − ESH. Don’t let someone else hold your stuff if you aren’t comfortable with losing it. Could have been stolen, dropped, who knows. Should you be able to rely...

Yes. But unless you have evidence of them being careless this was an unfortunate accident. If I were in either the girlfriend or mom’s place I’d offer to split the...

If I were in your shoes I’d be sad and would look for them, but I also would have retrieved them immediately upon returning to the vehicle as it’s very...

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And if you couldn’t find them at that point you could have retraced your steps to try to find them. You didn’t take responsibility of your own belongings when the...

I would never ask someone to replace my item under these circumstances unless I had seen them be careless with the item that day (and frankly if I had seen...

inertial-observer − INFO: Where would you have placed them if your gf hadn't suggested the pram? Would you have carried them? Kept them in your shoes and continued to complain...

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You knew they would hurt after a couple hours. What plan did you have for them, for when the inevitable happened? Or did you fail to plan and expect that...

The responsibility to keep them safe is ultimately yours. Your gf suggested putting them in the pram, you and she both felt they would be safe there, and unfortunately they...

the loss of the inserts was an accident and not anyone's "fault". Your gf was wrong to say she didn't suggest putting them in the pram, assuming she was gaslighting...

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TheRealRedParadox − NTA I dont use this term lightly but your gf was gaslighting you. She lied to your face KNOWING the truth then deflected blame onto you saying "you...

imtchogirl − NAH. Women and their purses and prams are not just insured storage for men who don't want to deal with their crap. I'm sorry but if you put...

I'm sure her mum had a million other things she was responsible for. You are responsible for your own things. If you didn't want to wear them or carry them,...

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Your gf offered a potential solution in the moment but she is also not in charge of your stuff. You took a risk and it didn't work out. Next time,...

In the meantime you can do a more thorough search and talk to the mom and ask nicely for her to double check. But don't expect anyone to pay for...

Light-hearted remarks from two users lighten the mood with practical or whimsical spins.

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StealthyPiku − Bit confused, mine were personally made for me and totally useless to anyone else - surely they should turn up somewhere when retracing your steps? Personally would still...

Complex_Storm1929 − NTA. Your girlfriend sounds like one of these people who never think they are wrong and never apologize. I’m sure on the flip side when you don’t take...

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AtraposJM − YTA imo. I mean, come on, she made a suggestion but ultimately you decided what to do with your property and you didn't check on it. You didn't...

That's your responsibility. It's an accident that isn't her fault, it just sucks. Asking her to pay for it because she's the one who physically put it there or because...

Ultimately, the social network post captures a vacation blunder over lost orthotics that ignites debates on trust, blame, and finances, leaving the poster regretful after an outburst but firm on fairness. The girlfriend’s conditional offer to pay falls short without addressing her mum’s role, underscoring unresolved tensions in a seemingly minor mix-up.

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Have you ever lost something valuable after following a partner’s suggestion? Would you push for family to chip in on replacements, or let it go as bad luck?

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